I Hereby Crown Thee ...
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "A Dream of Droll Dichotomy's Design"A collection of crowns of sonnets
74 total reviews
Comment from aleigh77
I took one look at this contest and knew for certain that it was way to complicated for me to attempt at this point. Maybe next year, if this contest is introduced again, I will take a stab at it. I hope I learn a lot over the course of this year. Congratulations on you heroic effort with this poem. You did an excellent job with it. - Amy
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2012
  |
I took one look at this contest and knew for certain that it was way to complicated for me to attempt at this point. Maybe next year, if this contest is introduced again, I will take a stab at it. I hope I learn a lot over the course of this year. Congratulations on you heroic effort with this poem. You did an excellent job with it. - Amy
Comment Written 15-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2012
-
Thank you, Amy. It's quite a challenge, and my first one gave me some huge headaches, but the form feels a bit like an old friend now, albeit one who I don't talk to very often!
Mike
Comment from Hitcher
There is no way anyone can take in everything you are saying with a single read, but the beauty and artistry of your Crown shines through mate. You are unmatched as a weaver of words Mike, a magician, illusionist and a damn fine poet is what you are friend. I cannot imagine the time you must of spent on this, I know you write off the cuff a lot of the time because your muse is restless and screams to be let loose, you definitely unchained him and set him free. Absolutely loved it. Take a bow, take a F/N bow :) Tried to six you and it won't f/n let me, now that just p*sses me off, sorry mate!
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2012
|
There is no way anyone can take in everything you are saying with a single read, but the beauty and artistry of your Crown shines through mate. You are unmatched as a weaver of words Mike, a magician, illusionist and a damn fine poet is what you are friend. I cannot imagine the time you must of spent on this, I know you write off the cuff a lot of the time because your muse is restless and screams to be let loose, you definitely unchained him and set him free. Absolutely loved it. Take a bow, take a F/N bow :) Tried to six you and it won't f/n let me, now that just p*sses me off, sorry mate!
Comment Written 14-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2012
-
Just under 40 minutes to write this (I did it on a train ride home), and then an hour and a half (so far) trying to get rid of repeat rhymes, since strictly speaking, I should have no repeat rhyme sounds whatsoever through the entire piece. Plus, Rama Devi wrote me an essay with suggestions, so I need to fix some of that too!
Thanks for the awesom review, mate - who needs sixes when the comments are this good?
Mike
-
Again, AWESOME, I tip my hat :)
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Mike. I guess you are really serious about winning this one, my friend. It is very long but well worth it...I Liked the writing all the way, especially this stanza:
"beyond an ooze that yearns to seize the day
with dominant compassion and a dream,
to suffocate with hopeful tourniquets
all traces of the danger in the seams"
Great job. Bob
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2012
|
Hi, Mike. I guess you are really serious about winning this one, my friend. It is very long but well worth it...I Liked the writing all the way, especially this stanza:
"beyond an ooze that yearns to seize the day
with dominant compassion and a dream,
to suffocate with hopeful tourniquets
all traces of the danger in the seams"
Great job. Bob
Comment Written 14-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2012
-
Thanks so much, Bob - I really appreciate it.
Mike
Comment from Mara del Mar
An excellent sonnet poem is a compositions poetic very beautiful, you did a magnific job here, with good scheme of rhyme and great fluidity of lines. I liked the good use of images. Congrats and i wait that have good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2012
|
An excellent sonnet poem is a compositions poetic very beautiful, you did a magnific job here, with good scheme of rhyme and great fluidity of lines. I liked the good use of images. Congrats and i wait that have good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 14-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2012
-
Thanks so much, Mara - I'm glad you liked it :-).
Mike
Comment from womanwriter
As always, Mike, you and your muse appear to be in perfect harmony!
Sorry to hear that you have been feeling stuck. When I have been stuck in the past - 9 times out of 10 I discover that while I thought I had been spinning my wheels, I had actually been 'diggin in' and 'going deeper' into my writing and into myself - hope the experience is that good for you too.
thanks for sharing.
Hugs & Blessings,
womanwriter ~Christine~
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2012
|
As always, Mike, you and your muse appear to be in perfect harmony!
Sorry to hear that you have been feeling stuck. When I have been stuck in the past - 9 times out of 10 I discover that while I thought I had been spinning my wheels, I had actually been 'diggin in' and 'going deeper' into my writing and into myself - hope the experience is that good for you too.
thanks for sharing.
Hugs & Blessings,
womanwriter ~Christine~
Comment Written 14-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2012
-
Thank you, Christine - I like that outlook :-). I've been happy with the writing that's coming from my head, but it's very much on a samey theme. Time to write a whimsical romance story, or one of my horrific horror poems, to break me out!
Mike
Comment from MumEsGirl
Good to see you here and producing great work as usual. I particularly enjoyed this one.
If it wasnt for Brooke, I would be in the same boat as you, posting copious errors.
Best of luck in the contest my friend
kate
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2012
 |
Good to see you here and producing great work as usual. I particularly enjoyed this one.
If it wasnt for Brooke, I would be in the same boat as you, posting copious errors.
Best of luck in the contest my friend
kate
Comment Written 14-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2012
-
Thank you, Kate :-). I was pretty happy with my initial post, but Brooke immediately caught some repeated rhyme sounds, of which the contest stipulated there should be none (a major pain in the posterior with so many lines!). I'd got to the point where I couldn;t see them any more.
I'm so glad you enjoyed it!
Mike
Comment from Elizabeth Daniels
Wow! I'm not sure that I could even attempt such a poem. I am not an expert on sonnets by any means, but as a poem in general, yours had great flow(even though I had to look up a few of the words LOL) and a nice rhyming scheme. I cannot say that I know exactly what you were saying but it was an interesting read regardless. Elizabeth Daniels.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2012
|
Wow! I'm not sure that I could even attempt such a poem. I am not an expert on sonnets by any means, but as a poem in general, yours had great flow(even though I had to look up a few of the words LOL) and a nice rhyming scheme. I cannot say that I know exactly what you were saying but it was an interesting read regardless. Elizabeth Daniels.
Comment Written 14-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2012
-
Thank you, Elizabeth :-). This was definitely my muse taking me for a ride. I wasn;t sure where it was going myself until I arrived. It's certainly a little obscure, but I'm glad you enjoyed the poem regardless.
Mike
Comment from mumsyone
Phew! I'm out of breath after reading this one! Ha! Great crown of sonnets, very well written, as usual. Now I know why I've never finished the one I started!
Who am I to question you, but this sounds as though you're speaking of a single person's mind's design and mind's perceptions; sorry if I'm wrong:
that wail away our fabric minds' (mind's) design
and in our minds' (mind's?)perceptions we're defamed
My favorite lines:
Wrapped up in comfort sanctified by hope
that we might trick the angel at the gate,
we head into the future, and we cope
so long as none may hold us in debate
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2012
|
Phew! I'm out of breath after reading this one! Ha! Great crown of sonnets, very well written, as usual. Now I know why I've never finished the one I started!
Who am I to question you, but this sounds as though you're speaking of a single person's mind's design and mind's perceptions; sorry if I'm wrong:
that wail away our fabric minds' (mind's) design
and in our minds' (mind's?)perceptions we're defamed
My favorite lines:
Wrapped up in comfort sanctified by hope
that we might trick the angel at the gate,
we head into the future, and we cope
so long as none may hold us in debate
Comment Written 14-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2012
-
Thank you, Mumsy :-). This one is very much open to interpretation, so your reading of it is perfectly valid. I'm so glad you liked it!
Mike
Comment from Tammara
What a great poem, you keep have captured the readers attention with your descriptive word choices and how they display such fine imagery. Your rhyming scheme is excellent and this always gives a writing good unique character. So no matter how long, what you style may be, if you captivate your readers then you've succeeded. Wonderful poem! :)
Tammara
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2012
|
What a great poem, you keep have captured the readers attention with your descriptive word choices and how they display such fine imagery. Your rhyming scheme is excellent and this always gives a writing good unique character. So no matter how long, what you style may be, if you captivate your readers then you've succeeded. Wonderful poem! :)
Tammara
Comment Written 14-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2012
-
Thanks so much for the awesome comments, Tammara :-). I wrote this very much in one great big flow, so I'm thrilled it reads that way too.
Mike
Comment from whispersofthesoul
hiya,
i applaud anyone who can write anything like this. majority of the time i just dont bother with long poem they never seem to hold my attention but this captured me then trapped me. the flow and rythm was second to none and it was really easy to read
this was excellent read a pleasure
welldone
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2012
|
hiya,
i applaud anyone who can write anything like this. majority of the time i just dont bother with long poem they never seem to hold my attention but this captured me then trapped me. the flow and rythm was second to none and it was really easy to read
this was excellent read a pleasure
welldone
Comment Written 14-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2012
-
Thank you, Whispers :-). I'm so glad I was able to keep your attention through this longy, and that you enjoyed the read.
Mike