Sarah
Share A Story In A Poem Contest Submission60 total reviews
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Hi Idamarty,
I'd say that was clearly self-defence. Good poem and it covers a very ugly subject very well.
Powerful imagery in the words, and a good rhythm.
Patrick
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Hi Idamarty,
I'd say that was clearly self-defence. Good poem and it covers a very ugly subject very well.
Powerful imagery in the words, and a good rhythm.
Patrick
Comment Written 28-Feb-2012
Comment from PoetSpirit
Wow, it seems taken from a movie! It is hard to imagine what a child in that situation must feel like and yet you have been able to capture the desperation and anguish in this piece. Very well witten! great job! Best wishes, Emily
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2012
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Wow, it seems taken from a movie! It is hard to imagine what a child in that situation must feel like and yet you have been able to capture the desperation and anguish in this piece. Very well witten! great job! Best wishes, Emily
Comment Written 28-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2012
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Thank you so much Emily, for reading and reviewing...I appreciate your words...blessings.
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you're very welcome! :o)
Comment from HuntersMoon
An engaging tale that could be true - a seeming synthesis of so many sad tales. The words bring the image to life and your descriptions weave the feelings of loss and fear and innocence together in a very powerful way.
An important message, an excellent write.
Ken
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2012
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An engaging tale that could be true - a seeming synthesis of so many sad tales. The words bring the image to life and your descriptions weave the feelings of loss and fear and innocence together in a very powerful way.
An important message, an excellent write.
Ken
Comment Written 28-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2012
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Thank you Ken, for reading and reviewing...I appreciate your words...blessings.
Comment from Zombie's Woof
Hi-
Great story poem... I love these abuse
poems... there are so many of them written
on FS lately... yours was awesome!
ZW
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2012
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Hi-
Great story poem... I love these abuse
poems... there are so many of them written
on FS lately... yours was awesome!
ZW
Comment Written 28-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2012
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HI ZW...thank you for reading and reviewing...glad you liked it...blessings.
Comment from Hitcher
You definitely told a powerful, emotionally charged story in poem, it is a tragic, heart-wrenching tale, and one that way to many have to endure over and over again. I'm glad you ended it for him, and by her hand, nice touch! Good luck!
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You definitely told a powerful, emotionally charged story in poem, it is a tragic, heart-wrenching tale, and one that way to many have to endure over and over again. I'm glad you ended it for him, and by her hand, nice touch! Good luck!
Comment Written 28-Feb-2012
Comment from krazykats2011
This was really, really good. I liked the fact that he doesn't take her that last time and that she does something about it. I only wish we women would all have that kind of courage, but unfortunately, society doesn't allow for woman to be that kind of aggressive or ascertive. But who knows, one day maybe. As a rape survivor I say BRAVO to a man (if you are) who would take such a bold stand and write a story of this nature, in a woman's honor. Again, BRAVO!!
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2012
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This was really, really good. I liked the fact that he doesn't take her that last time and that she does something about it. I only wish we women would all have that kind of courage, but unfortunately, society doesn't allow for woman to be that kind of aggressive or ascertive. But who knows, one day maybe. As a rape survivor I say BRAVO to a man (if you are) who would take such a bold stand and write a story of this nature, in a woman's honor. Again, BRAVO!!
Comment Written 27-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2012
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Hi krazykats2011...first thank you so much for the six stars...I truly appreciate them...I am a woman and as such I wrote this story with the only outcome that would end the abuse for good. I am so sorry you went through what you did...you truly are a survivor and an inspiration to us all...blessings to you.
Comment from cthomsen
Wow, this is so powerful. Sadly, I am certain that many can relate to this poem. I'm sure that every girl who has gone through such a thing would like to have taken the life of the abuser.
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Wow, this is so powerful. Sadly, I am certain that many can relate to this poem. I'm sure that every girl who has gone through such a thing would like to have taken the life of the abuser.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2012
Comment from Doc Holiday
This is a sad and disturbing poem that tells the story of one more abuser and one more abused. There are no winners here, but the story is very well-told through the use of your poetic images. At least Sarah will know how to protect her daughter.
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This is a sad and disturbing poem that tells the story of one more abuser and one more abused. There are no winners here, but the story is very well-told through the use of your poetic images. At least Sarah will know how to protect her daughter.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2012
Comment from Poetic, Just Is.
I can relate to how she felt...
it wants me to expand on that... but it's painful...
so I'll just suffice to say, i wouldn't change a thing, except that this sort of thing NOT happen in real life... but it does. I KNOW it does.
And that's so sad to say.
But this is a nicely written story you have here. I'm very glad for you that it's fictional.
very.
I was very happy to see that.
Good luck in the contest.
Cat
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2012
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I can relate to how she felt...
it wants me to expand on that... but it's painful...
so I'll just suffice to say, i wouldn't change a thing, except that this sort of thing NOT happen in real life... but it does. I KNOW it does.
And that's so sad to say.
But this is a nicely written story you have here. I'm very glad for you that it's fictional.
very.
I was very happy to see that.
Good luck in the contest.
Cat
Comment Written 27-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2012
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Hi Cat...I wanted to thank you for reading and reviewing my poem and to say God bless you for the strength you must have had to have in order to be here today after going through what you did. I`m not sure that a pain like that would ever go away...just covered by a makeshift bandage I guess...you holding onto it so that it doesn`t open and hurt all over again...God bless you for being who you are...
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Thank you so much Idamarty! Bless you too!
Comment from axelbeariter
She reaches for the only thing she took, it was her father`s colt,
The bullet flies quickly through the air, like a lightning bolt./Too bad all of the abused girls and women don't have a permit to carry this tool of redemption.----You've written a great portrait of this continuing societal menace. As a man, I cannot fathom how any other of my ilk could perpetrate this on any woman much less a little girl. This is by far, the most complete and succinct work I've ever read on this horrible subject.
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2012
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She reaches for the only thing she took, it was her father`s colt,
The bullet flies quickly through the air, like a lightning bolt./Too bad all of the abused girls and women don't have a permit to carry this tool of redemption.----You've written a great portrait of this continuing societal menace. As a man, I cannot fathom how any other of my ilk could perpetrate this on any woman much less a little girl. This is by far, the most complete and succinct work I've ever read on this horrible subject.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2012
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Thank you so much axelbeariter, for the six stars...I truly appreciate them and I thank you also for you words...blessings.