Reviews from

Turquoise Mountains

The People wept for rain

31 total reviews 
Comment from Mary Ann MCPhedran
Excellent
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Thanks this was beautiful, the words are wonderful, and they are written with feeling. The imagery and the flow is excellent. Thanks for sharing with me MARY

 Comment Written 16-Oct-2010


reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
    Hi again Mary! Wow. Thank you young lady!! ") Your opinion means a lot to me, it's so nice having you read for me! I am spoiled. Susan
Comment from heyjude
Excellent
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Realist, very well done. It's very difficult when there's no rain and food
is so hard to find. I like your crafting of this poem about the stone that
meant so much to the Native Americans. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 16-Oct-2010


reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
    Hi Jude! Thank you very much! I am pleased that you enjoyed this and took a minute to review too! ") Smiles! Susan
Comment from humpwhistle
Excellent
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I knew that Turquoise is prized by peoples of the Southwest, but it didn't know it was considered a harbinger of rain. I can feel the dry and searing heat. You make it all very personal. Good job.
Peace, Lee

 Comment Written 16-Oct-2010


reply by the author on 16-Oct-2010
    hey! thanks for a great review. AND especially for your valuable time Lee. I'm happy to have you as a fan. I look forward to next Friday too. ") S.
Comment from rudywalsh
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Wow Susan, it's always good to learn something new and now I know what Turquoise stands for and what the stripes are all about, it's my wifes favourite colour and it's her first choice in clor when she picks jewellery.
Great rhyming scheme, I like the way every line rhymes back to back, a good way to enhance the sound of your poem, I also love your image of the beautiful Navajo boy, I watched a popular documentary the other day about bay's, they filmed the babies behaviour in four different cultures, and boy have we in the so called modern world ran away from our nature, you would be surprised at how wrong we are living compared to the Navajo people who live a simple life, we have created absolute meyhem for ourselves, we are running away from nature at the rate of nots.
Very thought provoking Susan as you can hear from my rambling LOL.
A joy to read, take care Susan and have a great weekend...Rudy

 Comment Written 16-Oct-2010


reply by the author on 16-Oct-2010
    Why thank you for this "ramble" Rudy, I am always so happy to know you like my work. I am not sure this one fits the bill, but I love turquoise too. AND the native people of this land even more. You are SO right. There are better ways, we have gotten away from common sense and any sort of values. Even those who claim they have values nowadays, don't. Not really. It is so disheartening. Tell your Mrs. that I hope she will get a new piece of jewelry , maybe for her next b-day?? Hint? Smiles! Susan
Comment from misscookie
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That is awesome awesome artwork
It is perfect for your poem.
I could see so many stories or poem just in her eyes and you capture one. It is a lovely poem It made me cry a little thinking how you are doing everything to protect your son,your horses and land like the woman in the picture. Remember the spirits they will help you too.

 Comment Written 16-Oct-2010


reply by the author on 16-Oct-2010
    Miss Cookie, you are the most caring person I know. To be so far from me, and to really care about what we are going through is so heartwarming. I knew of a woman in Arizona, Cookie, a Navajo lady, Sylvia Whitehorse, was her name, and the government had taken the reservation over that her family had lived in for years and years. SHE refused to leave. They(.gov) at last I heard, didn't have the ? to remove her. She was living with no one else around, everyone had left but her. With little food, water or anything else. I asked the actor, Wes Studi to help her, as he is full-blooded Cherokee, but I got no response. "( I see her, as I look at the picture for this poem. Our government is disgraceful, to STILL be treating our real people here, like that. I abhor the United States government, and I don't care if they know it. Thank you for being here Cookie. Luv, Susan
reply by misscookie on 16-Oct-2010
    That's what friends are fr my frien. stay strong and on prayin grounds.
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2010
    I am trying Cookie. I really am...you too. xoxo. S.
reply by misscookie on 16-Oct-2010
    That's my gal!
Comment from dportwood
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Realist101,

Really a nice story told in this series of rhyming couplets. You followed through from title to ending giving the poem beginning, middle, and ending. Well done with this excellent contest entry. Good luck.

Duane

 Comment Written 16-Oct-2010


reply by the author on 16-Oct-2010
    hi Duane! Thank you so much. I love turquoise and our Native Americans too. I am pleased that you enjoyed this effort. It's really good to hear from you! Susan
Comment from 7thpoet
Excellent
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A rare insight to a simple earthen subject....a stone of turquoise, with healing powers. Not something to question especially when it delivers. The poem's writing is relatively good, I am not a fan of real time and past time rhyming, cried and sky or wounds and moon. Still the poem stands on its own merit. Nice job

 Comment Written 16-Oct-2010


reply by the author on 16-Oct-2010
    Hi there, I appreciate your kind rating, and am interested in learning more about real and past rhyming. If you have ideas to improve this just let me know? I am open to changes in it. I am learning things each day! Thank you very much 7th! I do appreciate your time for me too! Susan
Comment from winspiration
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This is such a beautiful poem with such a lovely flow and gives the feeling of love and hope with a great ending I really enjoyed this read

 Comment Written 16-Oct-2010


reply by the author on 16-Oct-2010
    Hi there! I am thrilled that you enjoyed this. I am not sure about the rhythm, if you see something I can do to improve feel free to say! ") Thank you for reading this! ") Susan
Comment from Shirley B
Excellent
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This is a beautiful poem. It has beautiful imagery using native american folklore with this beautiful stone. Best of luck to you in the contest. Your rhyme and meter were both excellent. This was a very smooth and easy read. Great job, Shirley

 Comment Written 16-Oct-2010


reply by the author on 16-Oct-2010
    Hi Shirley...thank you so much. It's really nice to hear from you, and I am so very happy you enjoyed this one! ") Susan
Comment from june prescott
Excellent
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This is a very moving poem about the Native American and their beloved turquoise stone. Your poem is meaningful to me because I am in Arizona and know how precious rain is here in the desert. The picture captures the mood and words of your poem. Thank you for sharing the story of how important the skystone is to the Native Americans and good luck in the contest. JP

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 16-Oct-2010


reply by the author on 16-Oct-2010
    Hi June! Thank you so much! It's great to meet another person from Arizona! I have another fanfriend from there too! I was there once, as a child, and love it so. I would move there if there were more green grass for my horse. ") Happy writing June! ") Susan
reply by june prescott on 16-Oct-2010
    Lots of horse ranches in the high country in AZ! LOL My pleasure to read your poem. :) Take care, JP
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2010
    Oh if I could just sell this place! lol. Maybe someday. I would love to plein air out there someday, they say the quality of the atmosphere is perfect for painting! ") Susan