I Hereby Crown Thee ...
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "The Shadow of Mirth"A collection of crowns of sonnets
45 total reviews
Comment from Isaiah Ramesses
Well written poetry. And well versed. You have taken a classic tale and gave it a new meaning--Goodness has it's Glory. I enjoyed this. You have an interesting style.
Well done.
Isaiah Ramesses
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2010
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Well written poetry. And well versed. You have taken a classic tale and gave it a new meaning--Goodness has it's Glory. I enjoyed this. You have an interesting style.
Well done.
Isaiah Ramesses
Comment Written 23-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2010
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Thank you, Isaiah. I'm so glad you enjoyed my epic poem :-)
Mike
Comment from ulster3
Hello Mike.
A crown of sonnets is a difficult project. I know ...I wrote one about a year ago. This should do very well in the contest. If it was in the booth it would get my vote. It is a good storyline too.
Rebecca
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2010
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Hello Mike.
A crown of sonnets is a difficult project. I know ...I wrote one about a year ago. This should do very well in the contest. If it was in the booth it would get my vote. It is a good storyline too.
Rebecca
Comment Written 22-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2010
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Thank you, Rebecca :-). I wrote one for the original contest but I missed the second one last month. Then I saw the story contest and tought a crown would be the ideal vehicle for it. So glad you enjoyed :-)
Mike
Comment from Mastery
Outstanding, Mike. I like the humor you have tucked in here and there also. It is a bit long, but what a story...I liked this in particular:
"
As screams rang out, accompanied by frowns,
the beast called out in pleasure and it swelled.
It stopped to laugh and turned from grey to brown;
it grew as fear washed over it in yells.
Its muscles bulged like iron in the light,
distended claws cast shadows on the ground.
Our hero paused for breath after his flight
and watched it grow to terror's heinous sound.
An idea formed within his ailing brain,
and so Dave turned and ran with all his speed.
The beast let out a laugh of cold distain,
anticipating smorgasbords of feed.
Saliva flying from its snarling face,
the monster gave a roar and then gave chase."
Good luck in the contest, Mike....Bob
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2010
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Outstanding, Mike. I like the humor you have tucked in here and there also. It is a bit long, but what a story...I liked this in particular:
"
As screams rang out, accompanied by frowns,
the beast called out in pleasure and it swelled.
It stopped to laugh and turned from grey to brown;
it grew as fear washed over it in yells.
Its muscles bulged like iron in the light,
distended claws cast shadows on the ground.
Our hero paused for breath after his flight
and watched it grow to terror's heinous sound.
An idea formed within his ailing brain,
and so Dave turned and ran with all his speed.
The beast let out a laugh of cold distain,
anticipating smorgasbords of feed.
Saliva flying from its snarling face,
the monster gave a roar and then gave chase."
Good luck in the contest, Mike....Bob
Comment Written 22-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2010
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Thank you for the great words, Bob. I know it's a risk, writing something this long, but I enjoyed the challenge of writing a crown of sonnets and a story poem was the perfect marriage for it :-)
So glad you enjoyed it, my friend!
Mike
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
This is a very complicated for to accomplish and I must say that you have done really very well a good strong contest entry good luck regards Fuller
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2010
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This is a very complicated for to accomplish and I must say that you have done really very well a good strong contest entry good luck regards Fuller
Comment Written 22-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2010
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Thank you, Fuller! I enjoyed taking on this beast of a form once again, and it was the perfect choice for the story contest.
Mike
Comment from Amfunny
Great poem and story. I know a few people I would like to shrink myself. LOL. I loved your detailed descriptions. Made it very scary. Especially liked:
As screams rang out, accompanied by frowns,
the beast called out in pleasure and it swelled.
It stopped to laugh and turned from grey to brown;
it grew as fear washed over it in yells.
Its muscles bulged like iron in the light,
distended claws cast shadows on the ground.
Our hero paused for breath after his flight
and watched it grow to terror's heinous sound.
Great job.
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2010
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Great poem and story. I know a few people I would like to shrink myself. LOL. I loved your detailed descriptions. Made it very scary. Especially liked:
As screams rang out, accompanied by frowns,
the beast called out in pleasure and it swelled.
It stopped to laugh and turned from grey to brown;
it grew as fear washed over it in yells.
Its muscles bulged like iron in the light,
distended claws cast shadows on the ground.
Our hero paused for breath after his flight
and watched it grow to terror's heinous sound.
Great job.
Comment Written 22-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2010
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Thank you, Amfunny :-) This was a blast to write and I enjoyed mixing the small touches of humour into a serious tale. So glad you enjoyed the read!
Mike
Comment from honeytree
I loved the art work here. I am glad I read these words hat definitely told a "story in a poem." I enjoyed the way how these words were written and found no errors.
Great Writing
Honeytree
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2010
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I loved the art work here. I am glad I read these words hat definitely told a "story in a poem." I enjoyed the way how these words were written and found no errors.
Great Writing
Honeytree
Comment Written 22-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2010
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Thank you, Honeytree :-). I'm so glad you enjoyed the read and that you were drawn to read through my long poem.
Mike
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Yes I did enjoy reading your writing.
All the best.
Honeytree.
Comment from fictionwriter
Well dang that beast anyway. The hero's supposed to win, not the moster. Well, as the Jafa say, I guess he died well, and will live on in the people's mind. Well done.
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2010
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Well dang that beast anyway. The hero's supposed to win, not the moster. Well, as the Jafa say, I guess he died well, and will live on in the people's mind. Well done.
Comment Written 22-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2010
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It's a bitter-sweet ending to be sure, hence the title, but it felt right as I was going along. Dave has to die so the comfortable illusions can keep the next generation happy.
So glad you enjoyed the read, and thank you for a wonderful review :-)
Mike
Comment from Curt Mongold
Hey Mike
Thanks a lot buddy, you just ruined any thoughts I had of winning this damn contest. (lol)
Seriously mate, I am impressed. I have read some pretty damn good CoHS in my day, but this one is a book complete in rhyme.
I stand and bow.
My hat is off to you, Poet.
Curt
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2010
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Hey Mike
Thanks a lot buddy, you just ruined any thoughts I had of winning this damn contest. (lol)
Seriously mate, I am impressed. I have read some pretty damn good CoHS in my day, but this one is a book complete in rhyme.
I stand and bow.
My hat is off to you, Poet.
Curt
Comment Written 22-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2010
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Curt, I think you're oneof the best poets on this site and I'd never bet on myself against you. That means your sixer means a hell of a lot, mate, and I'm honoured by your review.
Mike
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You've accomplished something I never have tried, and did it with the finesse of a poetic surgeon.
Well deserved.
Comment from RebelRose
Quite a long story in a poem but well worth the time to read. Very well written and most interesting.
Good contest entry. Best of luck.
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2010
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Quite a long story in a poem but well worth the time to read. Very well written and most interesting.
Good contest entry. Best of luck.
Comment Written 22-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2010
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Thank you, Rose :-). This was a lot of fun to write, and seemed the right choice of form for the contest. So glad you enjoyed!
Mike
Comment from words
A well told tale told in a form from the days when all the world read poetry .... the days before the novel replaced the poetic.
Well done.
It is not easy to keep a story going in verse, you managed this well.
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2010
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A well told tale told in a form from the days when all the world read poetry .... the days before the novel replaced the poetic.
Well done.
It is not easy to keep a story going in verse, you managed this well.
Comment Written 22-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2010
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Thank you :-). I did worry that I'd lose the thread or bore people will the length of it, but it's had such a wonderful response! Thank you for the lovely review.
Mike