The Ritual
A Sevenelle for the Potlatch Challenge20 total reviews
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written Sevenelle aout the ritual of pretence some people ahave to hold up because they will never show to the world they have flaws like anyone else.
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2019
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A very well-written Sevenelle aout the ritual of pretence some people ahave to hold up because they will never show to the world they have flaws like anyone else.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2019
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Thank you for taking the time to read and share your insights on this sevenelle. I really appreciate the feedback.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
You did a great job, June, with your poignant poem. Your lines read smoothly with great rhymes and attention to detail. Your story is what makes this poem, though. What a sad memory still plays in the mind and heart every year although it was never true. However, the heart wanted it to be and compensates for it lack of truth. Thanks for sharing. Jan
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2019
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You did a great job, June, with your poignant poem. Your lines read smoothly with great rhymes and attention to detail. Your story is what makes this poem, though. What a sad memory still plays in the mind and heart every year although it was never true. However, the heart wanted it to be and compensates for it lack of truth. Thanks for sharing. Jan
Comment Written 07-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2019
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Thank you for taking the time to read and share your insights on this sevenelle. I really appreciate the feedback.
Comment from Janetsue
Even though it is so sad, I love this poem. The imagery, rhyme and appropriate repetition are excellent. These lines are my favorite:
she'd dance from dawn until moonrise
amidst the crickets and fireflies,
near bullfrogs with their mating cries.
Behind those eyes of sapphire blue
were depths of pain that no one knew.
I must also applaud the gorgeous picture...it has served you very well with this posting. Best wishes always, Spangle
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2019
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Even though it is so sad, I love this poem. The imagery, rhyme and appropriate repetition are excellent. These lines are my favorite:
she'd dance from dawn until moonrise
amidst the crickets and fireflies,
near bullfrogs with their mating cries.
Behind those eyes of sapphire blue
were depths of pain that no one knew.
I must also applaud the gorgeous picture...it has served you very well with this posting. Best wishes always, Spangle
Comment Written 07-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2019
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Thank you for taking the time to read and share your insights on this sevenelle. I really appreciate the feedback.
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You're very welcome!
Comment from Janice Canerdy
This one must have a 6! This skillfully-written, beautiful, profoundly sad poem movingly conveys its theme. Some people simply cannot--or will not--move on after this type if devastation.
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2019
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This one must have a 6! This skillfully-written, beautiful, profoundly sad poem movingly conveys its theme. Some people simply cannot--or will not--move on after this type if devastation.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2019
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Thank you for taking the time to read and share your insights on this sevenelle. I really appreciate the feedback. And the exceptional rating!
Comment from Rikki66
Jilted at the alter she withdrew from society to hide her sapphire blue eyes except for that one anniversary day when she dances pretending remembering what was and was not. Very good. My interpretation of the art, not the painting.
Rikki:)xo
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2019
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Jilted at the alter she withdrew from society to hide her sapphire blue eyes except for that one anniversary day when she dances pretending remembering what was and was not. Very good. My interpretation of the art, not the painting.
Rikki:)xo
Comment Written 07-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2019
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Thank you for taking the time to read and share your insights on this sevenelle. I really appreciate the feedback.
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you are most welcome.
Rikki:)
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Nice, June. I must say the picture truly adds interest to your well written Sevenelle. The tarnished gown, the sad face, but fresh flowers for the occasion. Great feeling and imagery in this well written poem. Nancy:)
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2019
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Nice, June. I must say the picture truly adds interest to your well written Sevenelle. The tarnished gown, the sad face, but fresh flowers for the occasion. Great feeling and imagery in this well written poem. Nancy:)
Comment Written 07-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2019
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Thank you for taking the time to read and share your insights on this sevenelle. I really appreciate the feedback.
Comment from Elizabeth Johnson1
This is an absolutely beautiful poem. It flows so nicely and paints a perfect picture.
The picture used is perfect for the poem. The coloring and spacing make it very easy to follow.
Nice job and good luck
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2019
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This is an absolutely beautiful poem. It flows so nicely and paints a perfect picture.
The picture used is perfect for the poem. The coloring and spacing make it very easy to follow.
Nice job and good luck
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2019
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Thank you so much for sharing your insights!
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is one of my favourite forms and you put it to good use here June, so delicately delivered with the magic of the dance, her sparkling gown and flowers in her hair, but behind it all there is sadness as the heart knows the truth when it has been betrayed, my first six of the week goes to you for this wonderful presentation, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2019
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This is one of my favourite forms and you put it to good use here June, so delicately delivered with the magic of the dance, her sparkling gown and flowers in her hair, but behind it all there is sadness as the heart knows the truth when it has been betrayed, my first six of the week goes to you for this wonderful presentation, love Dolly x
Comment Written 07-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2019
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Thank you so much, Dolly, for the insightful review and most generous rating!
Comment from Rachelle Allen
We've all been this woman in one form or another. You are an awesome writer, June. This is expertly done. I enjoyed it from the first word to the last. (and great artwork you chose, too.) xo
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2019
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We've all been this woman in one form or another. You are an awesome writer, June. This is expertly done. I enjoyed it from the first word to the last. (and great artwork you chose, too.) xo
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2019
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Thank you for sharing your insightful and encouraging feedback!
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My pleasure.
Comment from Diana L Crawford
I love this! You weave such a sad tale of love lost, yet hope tries to survive. Once we love someone, it can be years before you truly get over the loss; but for some, it can be a lifetime. The picture you chose elegantly portrays the beautiful gown. You did an awesome job evoking emotions in this! It is now a favorite of mine on this site! xoxo
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2019
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I love this! You weave such a sad tale of love lost, yet hope tries to survive. Once we love someone, it can be years before you truly get over the loss; but for some, it can be a lifetime. The picture you chose elegantly portrays the beautiful gown. You did an awesome job evoking emotions in this! It is now a favorite of mine on this site! xoxo
Comment Written 07-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2019
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I?m so glad you got the gist of this piece. The heart is so vulnerable- we protect it sometimes with the soft clouds of illusions. Thank you for stopping by to read and review.
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It?s fantastic! xoxo