As Sure As The Sun Rises
A tattered flag33 total reviews
Comment from Roxanna Andrews
Don't you love the old English, back when you could even be rude and it still sounded really nice? Like in Pride and Prejudice? This is so well done. Enjoyed it and it's meaningful besides. I hope you do very well in the contest. Rox
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2019
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Don't you love the old English, back when you could even be rude and it still sounded really nice? Like in Pride and Prejudice? This is so well done. Enjoyed it and it's meaningful besides. I hope you do very well in the contest. Rox
Comment Written 26-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2019
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Thank you so much, dear Rox. I so appreciate the excellent review and kind encouragement. I am always so glad to hear what you think about my writing. This is a bit different for me but so much fun.
All my best,
Sal xo
Comment from lyenochka
Great job with this Dialogue Only challenge. I really got a feeling of something out of the Lord of the Rings in this little piece.
One suggestion is to avoid the spacing in these two:
"Thank you. I am often chilled at this hour.
Sebastian, what is this? '
It's clear that the king is still talking so maybe just add some "...." to show a pause." Otherwise, we expect a change in speaker with the blank line.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2019
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Great job with this Dialogue Only challenge. I really got a feeling of something out of the Lord of the Rings in this little piece.
One suggestion is to avoid the spacing in these two:
"Thank you. I am often chilled at this hour.
Sebastian, what is this? '
It's clear that the king is still talking so maybe just add some "...." to show a pause." Otherwise, we expect a change in speaker with the blank line.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2019
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Thank you so much for the excellent review and and kind critique. I made those adjustments in order to clarify. Thank you for the suggestions. I always appreciate your support and encouragement.
All my best,
Sal xo
Comment from Carla Trinklein
Wow, my hat is off to you. I have tried and tried to piece something together for this contest, but it always falls flat at the end. This piece is strongest at the end, even powerful. One can feel this old King's patriotism and love for his kingdom, in spite of all that seems to be working against him. Beautifully done, Sally.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2019
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Wow, my hat is off to you. I have tried and tried to piece something together for this contest, but it always falls flat at the end. This piece is strongest at the end, even powerful. One can feel this old King's patriotism and love for his kingdom, in spite of all that seems to be working against him. Beautifully done, Sally.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2019
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Thank you, dear Carla. What a sweet compliment with your generous six stars. I appreciate you and your gracious review. I am blessed if this inspired you.
Sending you my best, as always,
Sal xo
Comment from Winslow
Dear Sally,
It seems Sebastian brings good news for the king. Hopefully his fortifications can be upgraded enough to hold out against a siege. Even though blind the king can still see the colors. Fly the flag, hold it high, so it will inspire the men.
Cheers,
Winslow
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2019
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Dear Sally,
It seems Sebastian brings good news for the king. Hopefully his fortifications can be upgraded enough to hold out against a siege. Even though blind the king can still see the colors. Fly the flag, hold it high, so it will inspire the men.
Cheers,
Winslow
Comment Written 25-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2019
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Dear Winslow,
Thank you, kind sir. I appreciate the excellent review and encouragement. I am very appreciative of your time and review of my work. I am fanning you now to keep you close to me and in my fan base. I am blind and this will help me keep an eye on your works, as well. I hope to catch up with you in the days ahead. Again, thank you, Winslow.
Sending you my best today as always,
Sally :+)
Comment from Loren .
This expressed both the intensity and sense of urgency for what is happening. And all done with dialogue describing the situation. Best of luck. Loren
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2019
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This expressed both the intensity and sense of urgency for what is happening. And all done with dialogue describing the situation. Best of luck. Loren
Comment Written 25-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2019
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Dear Loren, thank you so much got the superb review and kind words. I am always glad to see your name and generous reviews.
Sending you my best today as always,
Sally :+)
Comment from JudyE
A worthy entry for the 'dialogue only' contest.
One comment: The following are on separate lines but are both spoken by the servant which is confusing. I'd think they'd be better on the one line. Or perhaps with a row of dots to signify a time lapse.
My prayer, yes, this very day, my King.
Sire, do I fly the colors? Our flag is tattered and torn from constant assaults.
Good luck and have a great day/night.
Judy
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2019
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A worthy entry for the 'dialogue only' contest.
One comment: The following are on separate lines but are both spoken by the servant which is confusing. I'd think they'd be better on the one line. Or perhaps with a row of dots to signify a time lapse.
My prayer, yes, this very day, my King.
Sire, do I fly the colors? Our flag is tattered and torn from constant assaults.
Good luck and have a great day/night.
Judy
Comment Written 25-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2019
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Love, love your new profile pic, dear Judy. Thanks for the excellent review and kind comments. I appreciate the critique as well.
All my best,
Sal xo
Comment from GWinterwin
Great short story of how Sebastian even being blind would know the colors would be flying. Sounds a lot like our country today. Thanks for sharing with us, I enjoyed it very much. God bless always.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2019
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Great short story of how Sebastian even being blind would know the colors would be flying. Sounds a lot like our country today. Thanks for sharing with us, I enjoyed it very much. God bless always.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2019
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Thank you dear George. Yes, I think it does resemble our nation. I appreciate your generous review and six stars. It is always good to see your name and review. I trust you are well, filled with faith just like the King.
All my best,
Sally :+)
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Thank you I am doing good thanks to a loving merciful savior. Great how he guides the hands of doctors and allows medicine to work when needed. God bless always.
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That is good to hear George. Blessings and healing prayers for you today. Sal
Comment from Ben Colder
Well done Sally Law. Yes , one can see thing though blind that only those who dare would only know. Good one Sal. I hope you win the contest. I shall vote if allowed.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2019
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Well done Sally Law. Yes , one can see thing though blind that only those who dare would only know. Good one Sal. I hope you win the contest. I shall vote if allowed.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2019
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Thank you for the honoring review and kindest comments. It is greatly appreciated, Mr. Colder. I am doubly pleased that you liked it. Another faith piece telling of my own true story.
All my best,
Sally :+)
Comment from Rikki66
By faith, none can see better than the blind. This is a well-written conversation between a servant and a master. Good Job,")")")")
Tikki:)xoxoxo*******
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2019
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By faith, none can see better than the blind. This is a well-written conversation between a servant and a master. Good Job,")")")")
Tikki:)xoxoxo*******
Comment Written 25-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2019
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Thank you so much, dear Rikki. I appreciate the excellent review and kind words. I am glad you enjoyed my contest entry. This is a little bit different, but I enjoyed writing this.
All my best,
Sal xo
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You are welcome.
Rikki:)xo
Comment from WalkerMan
This dialog-only story ends with a good example of comfort gained through faith. Throughout history, a flag still flying meant those who raised it were not defeated. In this case, the king, knowing his flag is still waving is enough to maintain his resolve to persevere, even though he cannot see it and must wait two more weeks for the aid his cousin is sending. Well done, and aptly illustrated. This looks like a solid contender for its contest.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2019
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This dialog-only story ends with a good example of comfort gained through faith. Throughout history, a flag still flying meant those who raised it were not defeated. In this case, the king, knowing his flag is still waving is enough to maintain his resolve to persevere, even though he cannot see it and must wait two more weeks for the aid his cousin is sending. Well done, and aptly illustrated. This looks like a solid contender for its contest.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2019
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Thank you so much for the excellent review Mike and helpful critique. I repaired them all and appreciate all the good advice and encouragement. I am so pleased you enjoyed my dialogue only contest entry. The contest snuck up on me! LOL!
Sending you my best as always,
Sal :+)
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You are welcome, Sal. I see the changes and have removed my relevant comments to leave you a clean review. -- Mike