The Minx and the Mensch
Satisfying a need38 total reviews
Comment from Tina Crute
Your poem description led me to believe something off-colour was about to happen, but I couldn't resist reading. When I started, my suspicions were confirmed. You led us all the way to the end without disclosing the real meaning of the conversation, and then there it was beyond the shutters! This poem had a little trickery in it, surprise and humor, so I feel you have all the elements for a winning entry!
Tina
reply by the author on 04-May-2019
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Your poem description led me to believe something off-colour was about to happen, but I couldn't resist reading. When I started, my suspicions were confirmed. You led us all the way to the end without disclosing the real meaning of the conversation, and then there it was beyond the shutters! This poem had a little trickery in it, surprise and humor, so I feel you have all the elements for a winning entry!
Tina
Comment Written 04-May-2019
reply by the author on 04-May-2019
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I hope you're right, Tina! Thanks for the fun review.
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I hope I am right too, LOL!
You are so welcome :-)
Comment from kiwijenny
Together, they yanked, and the inside shutters on their bedroom windows finally dislodged.
"Oh wow!" she cried out. "Look what our neighbors are doing in their bedroom garage!"
"I told you you'd like this!" she said with glee.
"I guess you were right," he said. "Maybe.
He he he
God bless
reply by the author on 03-May-2019
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Together, they yanked, and the inside shutters on their bedroom windows finally dislodged.
"Oh wow!" she cried out. "Look what our neighbors are doing in their bedroom garage!"
"I told you you'd like this!" she said with glee.
"I guess you were right," he said. "Maybe.
He he he
God bless
Comment Written 03-May-2019
reply by the author on 03-May-2019
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Thank you for the perfect rhyming review!! xo
Comment from royowen
Well done with this prose like poem that leads the reader to think there's something clandestine going on, when reality there isn't, they need to loosen the window shutters so they can see what's going on with the neighbours. Heh heh. An excellent entry in this contest, well done good luck, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 03-May-2019
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Well done with this prose like poem that leads the reader to think there's something clandestine going on, when reality there isn't, they need to loosen the window shutters so they can see what's going on with the neighbours. Heh heh. An excellent entry in this contest, well done good luck, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 03-May-2019
reply by the author on 03-May-2019
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Thanks, Roy. I'm glad you liked it. And I liked your review!
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Well done
Comment from susand3022
Hello Author! This was pretty funny, comical indeed! You've got us going there for a while, thinking all sorts of naughty little things!!! Nice going! It's not an easy thing to do, as I just found out trying to write my first decent 50-word Flash! Trying to put in that little twist at the end is no easy feat! Nice job! :)
reply by the author on 03-May-2019
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Hello Author! This was pretty funny, comical indeed! You've got us going there for a while, thinking all sorts of naughty little things!!! Nice going! It's not an easy thing to do, as I just found out trying to write my first decent 50-word Flash! Trying to put in that little twist at the end is no easy feat! Nice job! :)
Comment Written 03-May-2019
reply by the author on 03-May-2019
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Nope. But it's fun when you make it finally work! Thanks, Susan, for this nice review.
Comment from tfawcus
The double meaning here is what makes this so entertaining. I would consider removing some of the speech tags (she said/he responded/he asked/etc). You only have two speakers here and so it is mostly fairly obvious who is speaking.
reply by the author on 03-May-2019
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The double meaning here is what makes this so entertaining. I would consider removing some of the speech tags (she said/he responded/he asked/etc). You only have two speakers here and so it is mostly fairly obvious who is speaking.
Comment Written 03-May-2019
reply by the author on 03-May-2019
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I don't disagree, but I needed them for rhyming purposes!!! Hahaha. Still, I appreciate your suggestion and the way you're always so helpful and have my back. Please keep it coming.
Comment from dragonpoet
This is a sarcastic and silly poem about the petty arguments people have and it definitely fits the description of the contest. I like that it is a story told in rhyming dialog.
Good luck and keep writing
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 03-May-2019
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This is a sarcastic and silly poem about the petty arguments people have and it definitely fits the description of the contest. I like that it is a story told in rhyming dialog.
Good luck and keep writing
dragonpoet
Comment Written 03-May-2019
reply by the author on 03-May-2019
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Thanks for the great review, dragonpoet! I appreciate the feedback.
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No problem.
dp
Comment from Ross E Silke
This is a good read with a smooth flow for a narrative poem. It works well and hooks the reader. It has good rhythm, rhyme, and meter. A pleasure to read and try to comprehend. Interesting and a good entry. Well done.
reply by the author on 03-May-2019
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This is a good read with a smooth flow for a narrative poem. It works well and hooks the reader. It has good rhythm, rhyme, and meter. A pleasure to read and try to comprehend. Interesting and a good entry. Well done.
Comment Written 03-May-2019
reply by the author on 03-May-2019
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Thanks very much for the review, Ross. I appreciate the feedback.
Comment from Coco Jane
Delicious, suggestive, and darned funny!
Consider lining up the rhymes aa, bb, etc. Your aa are separated by a space, but bb are in one blob. Make them all consistent.
The "horrified" line has no rhyme. Oh--I see that the directions do not require rhyme. Still, I like consistency. But that's just me.
Does a bedroom have a garage? If you can, consider putting strike-through on "bedroom" to show that the speaker thought it was a bedroom and then realized it was a garage.
I especially like the ending.
reply by the author on 03-May-2019
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Delicious, suggestive, and darned funny!
Consider lining up the rhymes aa, bb, etc. Your aa are separated by a space, but bb are in one blob. Make them all consistent.
The "horrified" line has no rhyme. Oh--I see that the directions do not require rhyme. Still, I like consistency. But that's just me.
Does a bedroom have a garage? If you can, consider putting strike-through on "bedroom" to show that the speaker thought it was a bedroom and then realized it was a garage.
I especially like the ending.
Comment Written 03-May-2019
reply by the author on 03-May-2019
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Thanks for all the suggestions, CocoJane.
"Horrified" rhymes with "she cried" and "he audibly sighed." You got a two-fer with that one!
The neighbors turned the garage into a bedroom. There's a whole tv show with that concept called something like "Living Separately Together."
Comment from MissMerri
Hahahaha! This was very clever and deliberately misleading, of course, but in the end, complied perfectly I thought, with the prompt's instructions. You are funny, and I enjoyed the chuckle. Good luck in the voting booth too.
reply by the author on 03-May-2019
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Hahahaha! This was very clever and deliberately misleading, of course, but in the end, complied perfectly I thought, with the prompt's instructions. You are funny, and I enjoyed the chuckle. Good luck in the voting booth too.
Comment Written 03-May-2019
reply by the author on 03-May-2019
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I am so glad you liked this piece. Thank you for your delightful review!
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
LOL! All that effort and the twist at the end was perfect, they are a couple of peeping toms! I did enjoy this lead-up, you really teased your way to the end. Excellent. Good luck in the contest. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 03-May-2019
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LOL! All that effort and the twist at the end was perfect, they are a couple of peeping toms! I did enjoy this lead-up, you really teased your way to the end. Excellent. Good luck in the contest. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 03-May-2019
reply by the author on 03-May-2019
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Hahaha. Thanks, Sandra. You totally understood it all. Terrific review.