Anything for Their Penelope
She hadn't come back to stay...18 total reviews
Comment from poetwatch
I'm not sure if I should do this, Yvette , but you tale or story of the above is ... Mystifying. :) When I go I hope to see angels fluttering over me, shooing the demons away. This is very good, sci-fi fanatic. ;) It is a good entry for the Use this sentence contest. Thank you for blowing my mind away.
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2019
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I'm not sure if I should do this, Yvette , but you tale or story of the above is ... Mystifying. :) When I go I hope to see angels fluttering over me, shooing the demons away. This is very good, sci-fi fanatic. ;) It is a good entry for the Use this sentence contest. Thank you for blowing my mind away.
Comment Written 01-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2019
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Oh, Jose, you are too good to me, sir!! :) :) I'm so glad you enjoyed and hope you've found your mind by now! :) ;) You know me, always gonna come up with 'something different' ... LOL! ;) :) Thank you for the great comments and for those lovely stars.... you have put a big smile on my face...thank you! :) ;) Yvette :)
Comment from aryr
Good luck in the contest Yvette. This was a great story and well done. I enjoyed the mystery behind the words. I think about half way through that I understood what was happening. It was a great way for Penelope to say good bye. Very much enjoyed.
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2019
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Good luck in the contest Yvette. This was a great story and well done. I enjoyed the mystery behind the words. I think about half way through that I understood what was happening. It was a great way for Penelope to say good bye. Very much enjoyed.
Comment Written 01-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2019
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Thanx for the wonderful review, Ali -- so very good to read those positive words from you! :) :) Have a great week ahead! :) Yvette
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You are so welcome Yvette, you as well have a great week.
Comment from Sally Law
Well written and full of colorful descriptions and characters. I see I have a "Hallmark" moment as Sal the Salamander. How kind of you. Who told you that was one of my many nicknames from Jr. High School? This was creative and fun, albeit zany. You incorporated the use this sentence theme with great flair.
One little nit. "My words were haulted" is missing an 'e'.
All my best,
Sal xo
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2019
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Well written and full of colorful descriptions and characters. I see I have a "Hallmark" moment as Sal the Salamander. How kind of you. Who told you that was one of my many nicknames from Jr. High School? This was creative and fun, albeit zany. You incorporated the use this sentence theme with great flair.
One little nit. "My words were haulted" is missing an 'e'.
All my best,
Sal xo
Comment Written 01-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2019
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Thank you for this wonderful review, Sal! :) :) Hooray...didn't even think about that at the time since it was just a quick 'shortening' of her color, but does this mean I get to call you 'an imp' from now on, too! ;) :) ;) LOL! :) Take care! :) ;Yvette
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Maybe I should change my FanStory name to Salamander!
LOL!
Comment from damommy
Wherever did you get this wonderful story idea? I couldn't read fast enough to see what was going on with the imps. Apparently, she had been unconscious for many years and didn't realize it. What a blow for Jackie to have her come back and then lose her for good. Wonderful story.
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2019
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Wherever did you get this wonderful story idea? I couldn't read fast enough to see what was going on with the imps. Apparently, she had been unconscious for many years and didn't realize it. What a blow for Jackie to have her come back and then lose her for good. Wonderful story.
Comment Written 01-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2019
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Thanx for dropping by on this one, Yvonne -- I do appreciate your time, ma'am! :) ;) And I am so glad you enjoyed Penelope's interesting tale ... always fun for these 'fantasy detours' from teaching duties once in a while! :) ;) Take care! :) ;) Yvette
Comment from Heather Knight
What a fascinating story! You hooked me from the very beginning and I had to read at full speed because I wanted to know who the little creatures were.
Thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2019
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What a fascinating story! You hooked me from the very beginning and I had to read at full speed because I wanted to know who the little creatures were.
Thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 01-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2019
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Thanx for dropping by for this one, Maria -- always so good to hear from you! :) P.S. like the new pic on your portfolio! :) ;) Take care! :) Yvette
Comment from susand3022
Well now Yvette, that was an interesting take on life after death... Imps eh? I don't know if I'd be a little afraid if Imps showed up to take me when I went. Even pink and blue ones... lol After all, they ARE imps! lol
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2019
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Well now Yvette, that was an interesting take on life after death... Imps eh? I don't know if I'd be a little afraid if Imps showed up to take me when I went. Even pink and blue ones... lol After all, they ARE imps! lol
Comment Written 01-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2019
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Thanx for dropping in on this one, Susan -- always appreciate your smiling input! ;) Glad you enjoyed! :) Yvette
Comment from HealingMuse
Hi Yvette,
This is an absolutely excellent story and contest entry, my dear friend. It is very well written and should be a strong contender in the competition. Good luck and thanks for a great read. Jan :-)
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reply by the author on 01-Apr-2019
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Hi Yvette,
This is an absolutely excellent story and contest entry, my dear friend. It is very well written and should be a strong contender in the competition. Good luck and thanks for a great read. Jan :-)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 01-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2019
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Thanx for your review and vote of confidence, Jan -- much appreciated. :)
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
I have to say that I love the story. There's a very pleasing tone to it and the content is one that will really appeal. It's a clever choice of material for FS. Nice touches of whimsy.
There are a few things I noted as I read through. they are incidental as I'm sure if you don't change them it won't make much difference in the judging - for better or worse.
The words actually hurt to say since my mouth was so dry, but, seriously, somebody needed to / slowly along its surface lengthwise. The somewhat larger one of the bunch, a kind of salmon color, looked to be working feverishly / finally landing back on the speaker with the fake-looking hair and overly-demanding voice / who simply nodded at me, his eyes still so very full of mischief. I could get lost in those eyes, and I was definitely enjoying all / he tried really, really hard to sound nice, and it was positively dreadful / from the imps and looked directly at Jackie, gleefully interrupting / - watch those adverbs. That tendency to clump together. [there's also quite a few singular ones as well scattered throughout. Once you see them, you keep seeing them. Lol} There's also a reliance on a couple of the same ones multiple times.
Oh, dear. I had never done well with anesthesia. -Although an[a]esthetic may be a better fit.
He zinged backward out of reached and launched - just reach here.
cutest tirade of nonsensical jibberish - gibberish. Although I'm not sure you need both nonsensical & gibberish. (I checked the US dictionary and it's not there either)
My words wer halted as the door to the room - were.
walked up to stand beside Nurse Ratchet,- the reference to 'One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest' would be Ratched I believe.
I watched Ponytail's hand reached down - just reach here.
All the best
G
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2019
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Hi there,
I have to say that I love the story. There's a very pleasing tone to it and the content is one that will really appeal. It's a clever choice of material for FS. Nice touches of whimsy.
There are a few things I noted as I read through. they are incidental as I'm sure if you don't change them it won't make much difference in the judging - for better or worse.
The words actually hurt to say since my mouth was so dry, but, seriously, somebody needed to / slowly along its surface lengthwise. The somewhat larger one of the bunch, a kind of salmon color, looked to be working feverishly / finally landing back on the speaker with the fake-looking hair and overly-demanding voice / who simply nodded at me, his eyes still so very full of mischief. I could get lost in those eyes, and I was definitely enjoying all / he tried really, really hard to sound nice, and it was positively dreadful / from the imps and looked directly at Jackie, gleefully interrupting / - watch those adverbs. That tendency to clump together. [there's also quite a few singular ones as well scattered throughout. Once you see them, you keep seeing them. Lol} There's also a reliance on a couple of the same ones multiple times.
Oh, dear. I had never done well with anesthesia. -Although an[a]esthetic may be a better fit.
He zinged backward out of reached and launched - just reach here.
cutest tirade of nonsensical jibberish - gibberish. Although I'm not sure you need both nonsensical & gibberish. (I checked the US dictionary and it's not there either)
My words wer halted as the door to the room - were.
walked up to stand beside Nurse Ratchet,- the reference to 'One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest' would be Ratched I believe.
I watched Ponytail's hand reached down - just reach here.
All the best
G
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 01-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2019
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Thank you for your review -- much appreciated.