Bug in my Beer
Just a Silly Song on the 4th of July16 total reviews
Comment from rosehill (Wendy)
Hey Kerry, sometimes a poem's just got to be fun. I did sing along, but it was more of a Calipso beat for me. Perhaps because I remember trying to swat the wasps away from my beer at a little beach bar in the Bahamas. Regardless, I generally do that same dancie, hair whipping thing when I think a spider has landed, so I think it was the perfect addition to your piece. Very, very big smile on my face. - Wendy
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2017
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Hey Kerry, sometimes a poem's just got to be fun. I did sing along, but it was more of a Calipso beat for me. Perhaps because I remember trying to swat the wasps away from my beer at a little beach bar in the Bahamas. Regardless, I generally do that same dancie, hair whipping thing when I think a spider has landed, so I think it was the perfect addition to your piece. Very, very big smile on my face. - Wendy
Comment Written 05-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2017
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That's funny, glad you liked it, Wendy, lol
Comment from LaRosa
A very enjoyable little "song", Lady. Really cute.
I was sad for you at first, that you were all alone on the Fourth of July; then had a laugh that you had to be need'n company so badly a poor little bug became a friend.
I hope next year ya do dance, with a bottle of wine, and a true little bug buddy.
Plenty of Smiles, here, well done.
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2017
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A very enjoyable little "song", Lady. Really cute.
I was sad for you at first, that you were all alone on the Fourth of July; then had a laugh that you had to be need'n company so badly a poor little bug became a friend.
I hope next year ya do dance, with a bottle of wine, and a true little bug buddy.
Plenty of Smiles, here, well done.
Comment Written 05-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2017
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Lol, glad you, had a laugh, so did I, and don't be sad for little ole me, 1st time by myself all my life I love it. Thanks, my friend.
Comment from DR DIP
hehe what a fun write Kerry. I hope he didn't drink to much little bugger lol
Its fun to write ditties like this. Too much doom and gloom these days. Thanks for sharing
dip
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2017
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hehe what a fun write Kerry. I hope he didn't drink to much little bugger lol
Its fun to write ditties like this. Too much doom and gloom these days. Thanks for sharing
dip
Comment Written 04-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2017
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lol, Thanks, Dip, he may have had too much, may have passed on, heh-heh.
Comment from Sis Cat
Don't you just hate it when bugs, flies, bees, or wasps fly into you bear? This is a fun poem with a country beat I can hear in my ear. It is humorous and I enjoyed the dialogue between the two.
I suppose the bug sipped one beer too many when it helped you penned this poem, because I found numerous spelling, punctuation, and grammar errors in it. Rather than writing an exhaustive list of suggestions, I repost your poem with the suggested edits here. I got punctuation help from Charlie Daniels' "Devil Went Down to Georgia" fiddling song which uses dialogue:
I was sitting on the porch,
all alone on the Fourth of July.
I'm sure gonna tell ya,
'cause I can't tell a lie,
I had a bug land right in my beer.
I said, "Well, you just go ahead, Little Bug,
and have yourself some cheer.
Help yourself. I really don't mind."
He said to me, "Ma'am, you're awfully kind.
See, a bug like me don't get treated this way.
Folks usually try to swat me away."
"But I don't mind. Go ahead, Little Bug,
and have yourself some cheer."
The bug said, "A toast to you, my friend.
You're really quite a dear.
I won't tell your friends.
I'll tell 'em all a lie.
Let's party tonight.
It's the Fourth of July.
Just fill me a cap when you give a twist.
We'll get down tonight
and do somethin' like this."
The Little Bug started twirling right in the air.
I started dancin' and flippin' my hair.
"Cheers to you, Little Bug.
Thanks for droppin' by.
I'm not gonna tell my friends.
Gonna have to tell em' a lie,
'cause how would that look--
a lady like me partying with a bug like you
here on the Fourth of July?"
The Little Bug said, "I had a mighty fine time.
Next year, let's drink some wine!"
And he buzzed away...
Kerry, the suggested edit are clarity of text. Reading it closely, I am amazed at your humor and wit. You tell a good story which I can imagine you performing on stage at a lying contest. Your tall tale is quintessential Americana. It reminds me of songs about farmers talking to boll weevils.
Thank you for sharing your considerable talents as a humorist and have a happy Fourth.
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2017
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Don't you just hate it when bugs, flies, bees, or wasps fly into you bear? This is a fun poem with a country beat I can hear in my ear. It is humorous and I enjoyed the dialogue between the two.
I suppose the bug sipped one beer too many when it helped you penned this poem, because I found numerous spelling, punctuation, and grammar errors in it. Rather than writing an exhaustive list of suggestions, I repost your poem with the suggested edits here. I got punctuation help from Charlie Daniels' "Devil Went Down to Georgia" fiddling song which uses dialogue:
I was sitting on the porch,
all alone on the Fourth of July.
I'm sure gonna tell ya,
'cause I can't tell a lie,
I had a bug land right in my beer.
I said, "Well, you just go ahead, Little Bug,
and have yourself some cheer.
Help yourself. I really don't mind."
He said to me, "Ma'am, you're awfully kind.
See, a bug like me don't get treated this way.
Folks usually try to swat me away."
"But I don't mind. Go ahead, Little Bug,
and have yourself some cheer."
The bug said, "A toast to you, my friend.
You're really quite a dear.
I won't tell your friends.
I'll tell 'em all a lie.
Let's party tonight.
It's the Fourth of July.
Just fill me a cap when you give a twist.
We'll get down tonight
and do somethin' like this."
The Little Bug started twirling right in the air.
I started dancin' and flippin' my hair.
"Cheers to you, Little Bug.
Thanks for droppin' by.
I'm not gonna tell my friends.
Gonna have to tell em' a lie,
'cause how would that look--
a lady like me partying with a bug like you
here on the Fourth of July?"
The Little Bug said, "I had a mighty fine time.
Next year, let's drink some wine!"
And he buzzed away...
Kerry, the suggested edit are clarity of text. Reading it closely, I am amazed at your humor and wit. You tell a good story which I can imagine you performing on stage at a lying contest. Your tall tale is quintessential Americana. It reminds me of songs about farmers talking to boll weevils.
Thank you for sharing your considerable talents as a humorist and have a happy Fourth.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2017
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Andre, that is such an awesome video, That was so awesome of you to copy it proper for me. Your the best, my friend. I just fixed it with special thanks in notes for your edit, I appreciate it, and so glad you liked it, lol. happy 4th.
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OMG, Andre, I forgot to tell you, I am a big Charlie Daniels Fan. So funny thing is, That's how I became good friends with Dean on here my 1st few days on FS. I was checking out the site here and saw song lyrics, Low and behold, What pops up but the 2nd version to "Wooley Swamp" written by thee one and only Dean Kuch. So with that being said, I just had recently seen Charlie Daniels in concert (awesome by the way, even now, still totally awesome) so I review it, he says OMG you have dragged it back from the dead. And there ya have it, lol. moral of the story, who cares, lol-We love Charlie
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I remember the moral of the story, lol, I must have had that devil went down to Georgia beat in my head subconsciously as I wrote it. lol It is catchy huh? lol
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Yes, we love Charlie!
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You're welcome, Kerry. I am glad I was able to help. I learned a lot by reading your poem/song closely. It really shines now. Thanks for your acknowledgement in you notes.
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Oh, your welcome. I thank you emmensly, my friend.
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lol, we do--- oh I had typo in last reply-oops:))
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Blame it on the beer! ; )
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It was bug juice, heh-heh
Comment from Nikki-Nicole
You've written some good lyrics.
The artwork is hilarious. The image shown supports the song. The background goes well with the art and color of font chosen.
--Well, let's hope the bug dies with a buzz. I can't imagine having a bug in anything I'm drinking.
This should have been in the contest. It would have made a good entry.
Thanks for sharing your Lyrics.
Good luck with your future writing.
-Nicole-
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reply by the author on 04-Jul-2017
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You've written some good lyrics.
The artwork is hilarious. The image shown supports the song. The background goes well with the art and color of font chosen.
--Well, let's hope the bug dies with a buzz. I can't imagine having a bug in anything I'm drinking.
This should have been in the contest. It would have made a good entry.
Thanks for sharing your Lyrics.
Good luck with your future writing.
-Nicole-
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2017
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Thanks so much, it was all in fun, lol
Comment from BOO ghost
Like this: Bug: I had a mighty fine time- next time let's do some wine!
and he buzzed away...
Like this: The bug started twirling, right in the air
I started dancin' and flippin' my hair
Cheers to you, little bug,
Thanks for droppin' by
Hope he was the only bug in your beer?
BOO wil keep it a secret that you partied with a bug - he buzzed away, ha ha! Buzzed like flying and had a buzz,, he --he.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2017
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Like this: Bug: I had a mighty fine time- next time let's do some wine!
and he buzzed away...
Like this: The bug started twirling, right in the air
I started dancin' and flippin' my hair
Cheers to you, little bug,
Thanks for droppin' by
Hope he was the only bug in your beer?
BOO wil keep it a secret that you partied with a bug - he buzzed away, ha ha! Buzzed like flying and had a buzz,, he --he.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2017
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LOL-Heh-heh, Can ya tell I was bored tonight, lol writing songs of a bug in a beer, lol SHHH, don't tell. Our little secret.
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was hilarious! i was tickled pink -- red/white/blue.
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lol, I'm glad you liked it, I added notes after your review. so people understood why I said "Cap, not "Cup", Cause they bottle cap for his beer, and you twist it, the cup is to big he'll drown, lol
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Well, a buddy showed me a fly trick... really I did not think it would work but it did. You catch a fly and hold it underwater until it drowns. Then, you cover the fly up in salt. Hold fly at least a minute to make sure he drowned. Miraculously the fly wil come back alive. Try it, I dd and it works. Yes, cover him in salt. A bunch
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I sent reply PM