The Library and the ugly truth
How both can save you39 total reviews
Comment from mvbrooks
Interesting story from start to finish. The start--with suggesting one could feel numb when reading about 700 deaths seemed rather distant. The analogy of the murder rate being almost accepted with the affair being ignored was very effective.
A thought -- " I call that quote sort of racist" -- the word "nigga" in a quote is not "sort of" racist -- it is fully racist. And I have seen many people of color both in libraries and reading.
I also teach high school reading and it is ALL races that are reluctant readers because technology has made reading boring.
I think this could have been a much stronger, effective piece if the focus were on juvenile criminals rather than juvenile criminals of a specific race. I gave it a 5 for the writing style and overall logic. To fully get your message across -- that there's a correlation between non-reading and criminals -- it would be beneficial to remove the racist slant.
Editing note:
"being mostly a single mother, without a high school diploma and five kids,"
--this actually says she is "without" five kids -- need to change to:
without a high school diploma and with five kids
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017
  |
Interesting story from start to finish. The start--with suggesting one could feel numb when reading about 700 deaths seemed rather distant. The analogy of the murder rate being almost accepted with the affair being ignored was very effective.
A thought -- " I call that quote sort of racist" -- the word "nigga" in a quote is not "sort of" racist -- it is fully racist. And I have seen many people of color both in libraries and reading.
I also teach high school reading and it is ALL races that are reluctant readers because technology has made reading boring.
I think this could have been a much stronger, effective piece if the focus were on juvenile criminals rather than juvenile criminals of a specific race. I gave it a 5 for the writing style and overall logic. To fully get your message across -- that there's a correlation between non-reading and criminals -- it would be beneficial to remove the racist slant.
Editing note:
"being mostly a single mother, without a high school diploma and five kids,"
--this actually says she is "without" five kids -- need to change to:
without a high school diploma and with five kids
Comment Written 01-Jan-2017
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017
-
Thank you very much.
Comment from Tsukuyomi969
First, this is the kind of writing I aspire to. It's clean, visual, thought provoking and entertaining. I could almost hear a voice narrating it to me. I find it hard to write non-fiction, so I was especially thankful that you made it seem so easy.
I have no issues with this piece, but I am a little puzzled. In the beginning, you mention you scan the articles looking for truth, but I'm not sure what truth you mean. And since truth is often subjective, whose truth?
Lastly, I too find solace in libraries. My parents owned one in the country where I was born, and I spent the first 13 years of my life among it's shelves. The peace others find in churches, I find in libraries.
Happy New Year.
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017
 |
First, this is the kind of writing I aspire to. It's clean, visual, thought provoking and entertaining. I could almost hear a voice narrating it to me. I find it hard to write non-fiction, so I was especially thankful that you made it seem so easy.
I have no issues with this piece, but I am a little puzzled. In the beginning, you mention you scan the articles looking for truth, but I'm not sure what truth you mean. And since truth is often subjective, whose truth?
Lastly, I too find solace in libraries. My parents owned one in the country where I was born, and I spent the first 13 years of my life among it's shelves. The peace others find in churches, I find in libraries.
Happy New Year.
Comment Written 31-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017
-
Thank you very much.
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
This story deserves a six I don't happen to have. It held me enthralled throughout the entire story. As a teacher, I am touched by this story. I have often worked with many races, and have always encouraged kids to change their situations by rising above it. That was all I could offer them-- a way out of the ghetto by enriching their minds. Many, like you, have done so.
Thank you for sharing this story,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017
|
This story deserves a six I don't happen to have. It held me enthralled throughout the entire story. As a teacher, I am touched by this story. I have often worked with many races, and have always encouraged kids to change their situations by rising above it. That was all I could offer them-- a way out of the ghetto by enriching their minds. Many, like you, have done so.
Thank you for sharing this story,
Rhonda
Comment Written 31-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017
-
Thank you very much.
Comment from mermaids
I enjoy my local library but never thought about how safe it is. Your story brings up a great point. I have never heard of violence taking place in a library, it is a place of wonder and I am surprised more people do not use libraries. Your story is inspiring and gives the reader much to think about.
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017
|
I enjoy my local library but never thought about how safe it is. Your story brings up a great point. I have never heard of violence taking place in a library, it is a place of wonder and I am surprised more people do not use libraries. Your story is inspiring and gives the reader much to think about.
Comment Written 31-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017
-
Thank you very much.
Comment from DonandVicki
I absolutely love your essays, you do know how to put a lot of feeling and emotions into your work. Hate and violence seems to run rampant in our lives and world today. I too have found peace, comfort, solace in books and in becoming a writer. Well done Sir.
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017
|
I absolutely love your essays, you do know how to put a lot of feeling and emotions into your work. Hate and violence seems to run rampant in our lives and world today. I too have found peace, comfort, solace in books and in becoming a writer. Well done Sir.
Comment Written 31-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017
-
Thank you very much.
Comment from Jim Lorson Sr
Lancellot, I wish I had a six for this very powerful nonfiction contest entry story. You have given to me, a sixty eight year old white male, as to what happens to young black males and females who choose to be better then those gang thugs! I congratulate for having the perseverance to stay the course you chose early in your life. I, myself came from the wrong side of the tracks, living in a housing project which was built for the servicemen coming home from WW2! I had to work harder even within my own neighborhood to prove myself. The rap sheet determined how much respect you earned! I chose to use my fists to get their respect! I lost one fight in the thirty fights I had! Fred was three years older and he looked way worse then I did. I let my guard down for split second and took a huge right hand to my left temple and out like a light. Point is I stuck to my choice and worked my way out of the hood to make my way in life!
Sorry about my rant, but your exceptional story sent me down memory lane! I wish you great luck in this contest. You my friend would be my winner for sure!
I wish you a very happy and prosperous new year for 2017.
My best regards and blessings,
Jim Lorson sr
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017
|
Lancellot, I wish I had a six for this very powerful nonfiction contest entry story. You have given to me, a sixty eight year old white male, as to what happens to young black males and females who choose to be better then those gang thugs! I congratulate for having the perseverance to stay the course you chose early in your life. I, myself came from the wrong side of the tracks, living in a housing project which was built for the servicemen coming home from WW2! I had to work harder even within my own neighborhood to prove myself. The rap sheet determined how much respect you earned! I chose to use my fists to get their respect! I lost one fight in the thirty fights I had! Fred was three years older and he looked way worse then I did. I let my guard down for split second and took a huge right hand to my left temple and out like a light. Point is I stuck to my choice and worked my way out of the hood to make my way in life!
Sorry about my rant, but your exceptional story sent me down memory lane! I wish you great luck in this contest. You my friend would be my winner for sure!
I wish you a very happy and prosperous new year for 2017.
My best regards and blessings,
Jim Lorson sr
Comment Written 31-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017
-
Thank you very much.
Comment from kathleenspalding
What else can I say except excellent piece, excellent observations, and excellent writing. Very impressive! Good for you! I did not see anything that needs to be corrected.
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017
|
What else can I say except excellent piece, excellent observations, and excellent writing. Very impressive! Good for you! I did not see anything that needs to be corrected.
Comment Written 31-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017
-
Thank you very much.
-
You're welcome.
Comment from Spitfire
Hands up- the winner. I know from talking with my black students that the hood discourages them from enjoying education. I understand why your mother kept up the lie. In her way, she was protecting herself and her family. What a courageous and admirable woman.
Clever you to use her customers to get a different kind of education--one that saved you from the slums.
A six if I had it.
I treasure my library card more than VISA and MASTERCARD.
:=)
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017
|
Hands up- the winner. I know from talking with my black students that the hood discourages them from enjoying education. I understand why your mother kept up the lie. In her way, she was protecting herself and her family. What a courageous and admirable woman.
Clever you to use her customers to get a different kind of education--one that saved you from the slums.
A six if I had it.
I treasure my library card more than VISA and MASTERCARD.
:=)
Comment Written 30-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017
-
Thank you very much.
Comment from winnona
This is an excellent story. I am so glad that your life turned out the way it did. If there was some way to capture a child's interest and get them going they will grow and become something other than a thug. I just wish people would realize that.
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017
|
This is an excellent story. I am so glad that your life turned out the way it did. If there was some way to capture a child's interest and get them going they will grow and become something other than a thug. I just wish people would realize that.
Comment Written 30-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017
-
Thank you very much.
Comment from damommy
This is a wonderful story in that you became what you are today. I didn't know you were black, but I wouldn't have cared. One of my best friends is black and she says the same thing about "being white." After we meet for lunch or whatever, all the black community tell her she's going to be white.
I'm so glad you opted for the life you have, or you might have ended up with those who are now in jail or dead. Everyone, white or black, hates the one who is different. It shows up their own lack of character.
Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017
|
This is a wonderful story in that you became what you are today. I didn't know you were black, but I wouldn't have cared. One of my best friends is black and she says the same thing about "being white." After we meet for lunch or whatever, all the black community tell her she's going to be white.
I'm so glad you opted for the life you have, or you might have ended up with those who are now in jail or dead. Everyone, white or black, hates the one who is different. It shows up their own lack of character.
Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 30-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2017
-
Thank you very much.