My First Love, My Hero
Short Story29 total reviews
Comment from Thomas Bowling
Great story. The world needs more heroes like Jimmy. A knight in shining armor if ever there was one. I always stop when I see your stories and read.
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Great story. The world needs more heroes like Jimmy. A knight in shining armor if ever there was one. I always stop when I see your stories and read.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2016
Comment from lancellot
Hmm, it is a nice classic bullied excluded, really nice person inside story. You wrote well, and included the backstory of family and genetics to explain the weight not being her fault. Good hero too.
I give this an A. I think you will place well in the contest. Good Job.
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Hmm, it is a nice classic bullied excluded, really nice person inside story. You wrote well, and included the backstory of family and genetics to explain the weight not being her fault. Good hero too.
I give this an A. I think you will place well in the contest. Good Job.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2016
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Every school needs a James Claypool to
stand up for the geeks. Not everyone can be beautiful.
Thing is, some of the best looking ones are not all that pretty by the time they hit middle age. Good story Mikey.
xx Nancy
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Every school needs a James Claypool to
stand up for the geeks. Not everyone can be beautiful.
Thing is, some of the best looking ones are not all that pretty by the time they hit middle age. Good story Mikey.
xx Nancy
Comment Written 04-Sep-2016
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
What a terrific story! I'm glad to hear that it's based on a true story. If only we had more of that sort of caring behavior. The guy was a saint! Bravo! :)
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What a terrific story! I'm glad to hear that it's based on a true story. If only we had more of that sort of caring behavior. The guy was a saint! Bravo! :)
Comment Written 04-Sep-2016
Comment from Sasha
This is delightful. Sadly, there was no James Claypool in my high school. I was never harassed as much as this girl, but I made an honest effort to block all memories of high school. Great work with this and a delightful entry for this contest. I wish you all the best. I found one minor spag: pecks on the check...I think you mean 'cheek' not check...
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This is delightful. Sadly, there was no James Claypool in my high school. I was never harassed as much as this girl, but I made an honest effort to block all memories of high school. Great work with this and a delightful entry for this contest. I wish you all the best. I found one minor spag: pecks on the check...I think you mean 'cheek' not check...
Comment Written 04-Sep-2016
Comment from Pantygynt
A great little tale with a moral. Would that there were more folk like your Mr Claypole here. You have done well as a man to get so successfully into a girls skin and mind. I can't tell you, for obvious reasons whether you have been successful but it certainly seems as if you have.
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A great little tale with a moral. Would that there were more folk like your Mr Claypole here. You have done well as a man to get so successfully into a girls skin and mind. I can't tell you, for obvious reasons whether you have been successful but it certainly seems as if you have.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2016
Comment from Ric Myworld
No playing around, word jousting or wordsmith embellishments? Why Mikey, I knew you had a sensitive side, but never more than today. This story and how it was written goes along way for me as to showing readers how using the simple most direct wording makes everything the best it can be. Sometimes we all forget that most all readers read somewhere between the 5th and 10th grade levels. James Patterson sells more books than anyone, and why, besides he's good, but most of his books are written for around the 5th grade level. Thanks for sharing your outstanding story. Great job. :-)
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No playing around, word jousting or wordsmith embellishments? Why Mikey, I knew you had a sensitive side, but never more than today. This story and how it was written goes along way for me as to showing readers how using the simple most direct wording makes everything the best it can be. Sometimes we all forget that most all readers read somewhere between the 5th and 10th grade levels. James Patterson sells more books than anyone, and why, besides he's good, but most of his books are written for around the 5th grade level. Thanks for sharing your outstanding story. Great job. :-)
Comment Written 04-Sep-2016
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I really enjoyed reading your contest entry. I am so glad for the James Claypools of the the word. I wish you the best of luck with the contest.
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I really enjoyed reading your contest entry. I am so glad for the James Claypools of the the word. I wish you the best of luck with the contest.
Comment Written 04-Sep-2016
Comment from Joy Graham
Sheesh, where was Jimmy when I was in high school. He sounds like a dream. Yup, I was geeky then and am still geeky now. Oh well. Such is life for me. Now I have a wonderful husband with kids and grandkids. I've noticed folks in seniors homes display high school behaviour, so it comes back to bite us lol!
I enjoyed this story, Michael. You have done well for writing from a female perspective :)
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Sheesh, where was Jimmy when I was in high school. He sounds like a dream. Yup, I was geeky then and am still geeky now. Oh well. Such is life for me. Now I have a wonderful husband with kids and grandkids. I've noticed folks in seniors homes display high school behaviour, so it comes back to bite us lol!
I enjoyed this story, Michael. You have done well for writing from a female perspective :)
Comment Written 04-Sep-2016
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Very nicely written and if based on a true story, I know who the guy was or who I would have wanted him to be.
No problems noted and a strong entry in my books, dear friend
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Very nicely written and if based on a true story, I know who the guy was or who I would have wanted him to be.
No problems noted and a strong entry in my books, dear friend
Comment Written 04-Sep-2016