Comment from davisr (Rhonda)

Excellent

Wow, I cried all the way through your tumultuous poem. How bittersweet your battle together. My prayers join yours that she will remain cancer free! Thanks for sharing,
Rhonda

 Comment Written 03-Oct-2015

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reply by the author on 04-Oct-2015

Thank you davisr I am sorry this made you cry but thank you so much for letting me know how much this poem moved you. I am the same I can write sad poems but cannot ever read them out without a tear. My kids always say get the tissues our Mums doing another poem lol . But with Sues there were several tears but then her determination took over. So fingers crossed for a good future. A big Cheers and a hug to you Christine😃

Comment from mermaids

Excellent

Many can relate to Sue's story. Your poem captures all she had to go through and it isn't an easy journey. Your poetic form is smooth and I like all the true to life details, the wig, the ultrasound and eventually going through reconstructive surgery. I wish your sister well.

 Comment Written 03-Oct-2015

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reply by the author on 04-Oct-2015

Thank you very much mermaids for having a read and giving me your review much appreciated . I am glad you liked my style and yes I always write form the heart so Sue's story for me was a little like a purge of emotions, but I'm glad I wrote this and will give Sue a copy this week .all good now Cheers Christine😃

Comment from Spiritual Echo

Excellent

In my heart, because of the sincerity and love the runs through your poem, I can't give you a four. But based on the punctuation oversights, the technical aspects of this poem would normally bring your score down--fair and square.

Poetry allows a lot of latitude when it comes to punctuation, but this poem, as you rightly observed, need the commas to make the meaning clear.

I'm impressed with the complicated rhymes you worked in with medical terminology and think the poem is a wonderful tribute to a brave woman. See below--comments in parenthesis.



But Sue was strong and (SPELLING--SHOULD BE WON'T--DELETE--wont) be beat, "be damme0d(NEED COMMA HERE OR ELSE IT SOUNDS LIKE PERMISSION FOR THE CANCER TO WIN) I'll let it win"

But she did pay(,) her hair fell out, so down to buy a wig

She wore it well(,) without a doubt(,) no-one would ever twig.

Next came the knife(NEED COMMA HERE OR IT READS HER BREAST REMOVED THE KNIFE) her breast removed, mastectomy complete

But really, only time will tell if she is in the clear. (BECAUSE YOU FINISH THE POEM WITH HER VICTORY, YOU NEED TO CHANGE THIS TO...if SHE'LL BE in the clear)

 Comment Written 03-Oct-2015

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reply by the author on 04-Oct-2015

Hi Spiritual Echo. Thank you so much for your great review and helpful comments re the punctuation, I will amend these errors ASAP and I am glad you were so finite with your review this is much appreciated and also for your 5 stars when not deserved due to my mistakes. I am never dissapointed in a 4 as long as I get the reason and can improve my writing so Thank for being so nice . Cheers Christine😃

Comment from pharp

Excellent

This is such a heartfelt poem written with so much compassion, care, hope and love. Your sister is so blessed to be cancer free and to have a wonderful sister as yourself. My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 85 with only one breast removed. Thank and praise God she only had to undergo radiation and is still cancer free at the age of ninety. I was diagnosed with color cancer at age 39, early detection 95% of my colon removed, but I also remain cancer free. Blessings my friend and thanks so much for sharing........Portia

 Comment Written 03-Oct-2015

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reply by the author on 03-Oct-2015

Thqnks Portia for your lovely review and sharing your story, Glad to hear your Mum is going well and you must have had an awful experience also especially at only 39 so blessing to you also. So glad to hear your are 'free' also. 'Keep in the Pink' I think Cancer seems to be everywhere and everyone is affected some how, So we just have to keep supporting and hang in there the best we can. Cheers Christine 😃

Comment from Nosha17

Excellent

All forms of cancer are very scary-I had thyroid cancer many many years ago. I admire your sister's tenacity and courage, and your loyal concern for her. I am so happy she is fine now. Excellent rhyming and well chosen words. faye

 Comment Written 03-Oct-2015

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reply by the author on 03-Oct-2015

Thank Faye for your review and lovely comments re my poem for Sue .Sue is doing well so far still a bit to go but here,s hoping she will stay clear. You must have had similar experiences with your cancer so I am glad to hear your was many years ago too. My Mum is also going through Chemo now for CLL so it never ends. Thanks again Christine😃

Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin

Excellent

Hi, Christine

_ Such a sad yet touching story of survival against the odds.
_ You told about your sister's journey beautifully.
_ Your notes added even more reality to this dreaded disease---be it breast cancer, or any form of cancer--devastating.
- Thanks for the acknowledgement, although I didn't really didn't do anything.
_ You did a great service to your sister, and all those who suffer with 'C'.
_ Thanks--this had to have been painful to write. (*<*)

Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*:*)

 Comment Written 03-Oct-2015

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reply by the author on 03-Oct-2015

Hi Jax and thanks for your great review. actually it was therapeutic for me to write this also. Lets hope Sue keeps well ( our cousin similar age also has breast CA 3 yearsg ago ( had a lumpectomy only and it has now spread to lungs and bone so she is back on the treatment for this. and my Mum has CLL and id having Chemo now too .It seems like it is happening to so many friends and family .We have lost some great young friends also over the past few years. Such an inscidious non discriminitive scurge, Anyway Sue is good and Mum is coping pretty well too Cheers Christine😊

Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose

Excellent

Hello :)

I like your well written poem about your sister's cancer and her battle against it. It sounds like she has kept a positive outlook and fought all the way. Good for her!
I pray it will never come back again.
gypsy

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 Comment Written 03-Oct-2015

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reply by the author on 03-Oct-2015

Hi Gypsy .Yes Sue has been very positive after the initial diagnosis She is determined to stay alive and has done everything the Doctors have asked. so fingers crossed . I pray it never comes back too. With Cheers for your read and aupport Christine😀

Comment from robina1978

Excellent

Such a sad story about your sister being diagnoses with breast cancer, and two spreads to the lymph nodes. I hope she likes your poem. You describe the whole row of treatment she had. I've only once met somebody with this form of breast cancer, and my mother has been operated-but on time.

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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 03-Oct-2015

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reply by the author on 03-Oct-2015

Thank you robina very much for reading and reviewing my poem. it was a terrible shock but fingers crossed she will do really well. I haven't shown her my poem yet as I have just written it but I will and hope she gives me the Ok. I think they also got to Sue in time also . .Cheers Christine😃