Mickey Mouse Uses a Credit Card
short story17 total reviews
Comment from nordicgirl
This was so funny and entertaining. What is interesting is the great insight it offers into your personality. Very heartwarming and endearing thst you were able to endure your childhood withvsuch good grace. My vote.
  |
This was so funny and entertaining. What is interesting is the great insight it offers into your personality. Very heartwarming and endearing thst you were able to endure your childhood withvsuch good grace. My vote.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2015
Comment from justafan
Wait.....let me finish laughing!!! Oh my lawd!!! You sho is sumpum now!!! I just loved it!!!! Every bloomin word of it!!! If I could have given you 7, hell 10 stars, I would have!!!! To be honest, I am still smiling at Mickey Mouse :)
Already a fan,
Melissa
|
Wait.....let me finish laughing!!! Oh my lawd!!! You sho is sumpum now!!! I just loved it!!!! Every bloomin word of it!!! If I could have given you 7, hell 10 stars, I would have!!!! To be honest, I am still smiling at Mickey Mouse :)
Already a fan,
Melissa
Comment Written 15-Apr-2015
Comment from danpald
Enjoyed your story. I hope you do well with the contest. The flow of the story keeps the interest as well as the continued grouping of the women's comments. Still the best part of the story comes with the singing of the credit card and the attendant.
 |
Enjoyed your story. I hope you do well with the contest. The flow of the story keeps the interest as well as the continued grouping of the women's comments. Still the best part of the story comes with the singing of the credit card and the attendant.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2015
Comment from Amethyst Shining
I really enjoyed this story and your humor! You held my interest from start to finish. I was wondering about the title and then "got it" when that part came. It's not easy to share personal stories and you did a great job here. Sorry about the way you were spoken to, but looks like you worked it to your advantage as really funny material! There are a few minor things here that could be tweaked but nothing that held up the flow. At one part you used nuance but I think you want to use nuisance. In another part you use "could care less" which most people use incorrectly but it should be "couldn't care less". Although the incorrect way is so commonly used that it may now just be a pet peeve for some of us who still prefer the correct usage :) In another line you used response where I think you meant respond. These are just a few minor things (typos even) so I gave 5 stars because overall this piece has total staying power. The content and material is really good as is your humorous writing skills.
I particularly loved the spit/venom line!! And the highest intellect line/part. Really great stuff here. You have a definite knack for humor. But then again you'd have to in order to survive Bobo and your mom right? And at least you know you should've gone to the store ;) I think this story indicates you have even more great material you can turn into stories and definitely should!
|
I really enjoyed this story and your humor! You held my interest from start to finish. I was wondering about the title and then "got it" when that part came. It's not easy to share personal stories and you did a great job here. Sorry about the way you were spoken to, but looks like you worked it to your advantage as really funny material! There are a few minor things here that could be tweaked but nothing that held up the flow. At one part you used nuance but I think you want to use nuisance. In another part you use "could care less" which most people use incorrectly but it should be "couldn't care less". Although the incorrect way is so commonly used that it may now just be a pet peeve for some of us who still prefer the correct usage :) In another line you used response where I think you meant respond. These are just a few minor things (typos even) so I gave 5 stars because overall this piece has total staying power. The content and material is really good as is your humorous writing skills.
I particularly loved the spit/venom line!! And the highest intellect line/part. Really great stuff here. You have a definite knack for humor. But then again you'd have to in order to survive Bobo and your mom right? And at least you know you should've gone to the store ;) I think this story indicates you have even more great material you can turn into stories and definitely should!
Comment Written 14-Apr-2015
Comment from royowen
I found this to be a lighthearted journey into your youth, schizophrenia is an interesting affliction, I think young impressionable boys can be persuaded to do almost anything, including signing their names "Mickey Mouse", I remember when I first started work, you could tell me anything, and I believed it, but Bobo was a negative force in your life I would have thought, it's a wonder you don't have a million complexes! Well written, very engaging, and amusingly scribed, no detected spags, well done, blessings, Roy.
|
I found this to be a lighthearted journey into your youth, schizophrenia is an interesting affliction, I think young impressionable boys can be persuaded to do almost anything, including signing their names "Mickey Mouse", I remember when I first started work, you could tell me anything, and I believed it, but Bobo was a negative force in your life I would have thought, it's a wonder you don't have a million complexes! Well written, very engaging, and amusingly scribed, no detected spags, well done, blessings, Roy.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2015
Comment from K. Lorraine
Excellent recollection of a piece in your autobiographical story. There was an array of emotions and observations displayed including humor. Mystery author... you are a talented and well versed writer for a downtrodden son of an emotionally distraught and ungrateful mother. The only thing I see missing is the word count... Use at least 100, but not more than 1,000 words. The count should be stated in your author notes. Best wishes in the contest, this is a first rate contender. I'm envious that I didn't write it except for it I had, it would be FICTION and not NON FICTION...
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
|
Excellent recollection of a piece in your autobiographical story. There was an array of emotions and observations displayed including humor. Mystery author... you are a talented and well versed writer for a downtrodden son of an emotionally distraught and ungrateful mother. The only thing I see missing is the word count... Use at least 100, but not more than 1,000 words. The count should be stated in your author notes. Best wishes in the contest, this is a first rate contender. I'm envious that I didn't write it except for it I had, it would be FICTION and not NON FICTION...
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2015
Comment from Debbie Noland
Very, very entertaining! I love the pure spunk of this protagonist as he manages to not only survive but thrive in this less-than-capable household. The character you reveal through his manner of speaking is great. This a very witty, very funny piece.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
|
Very, very entertaining! I love the pure spunk of this protagonist as he manages to not only survive but thrive in this less-than-capable household. The character you reveal through his manner of speaking is great. This a very witty, very funny piece.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2015