Comment from Sarah Butterfly

Exceptional

Hi Carolyn,
Your words fit the picture very well. I like the way you turn around the first line to the last one. Very creative writing.

Kind regards
Sarah

 Comment Written 17-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 17-Jul-2014

Thank you Sarah. :-) Carolyn

Comment from krys123

Excellent

Carolyn;
I enjoyed your free verse poem very much and good luck in the contest and this is an excellent entry.
Your imagination is truly inventive and creative while your imagery is very descriptive and expressive throughout.
Longing for someone that was long ago can hurt very much especially if it was a dearest love and one that kept you as one together for a long time.
Thank you for sharing and posting this for everyone to read and made the Lord be with you always.
Alex

 Comment Written 17-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 17-Jul-2014

Thank you Alex, :-) Carolyn

reply by krys123 on 18-Jul-2014

you are so indeed insincerity welcome Carolyn.
Alex

Comment from jmdg1954

Excellent

Carolyn, you created an excellent piece of poetry based on your reflections of what that photo meant to you. Me, I see a girl rushing through a subway car as she hurries not to be late for class at the School of Music & Fine Arts.
Crazy, huh?

Good luck in the contest! John

 Comment Written 17-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 17-Jul-2014

Isn't it amazing what our imagination can do for us. I like your thinking. Thanks for the good luck, glad you enjoyed this one.
Go Cards!!!!!!!!!!!
:-) Carolyn

Comment from MizKat

Excellent

Hi Carolyn,

Me think? My brain's a jumble with daily headaches and thinking makes it worse. Since you asked I'll tell you. I think your verse poem is really good, since you rarely write them. Another great job. I think I was thinking that this might be a true poem about you, but seeing the picture I was trying to think and figure it out. I do think you hit it right with what you said about it. Whew have to quit thinking . . . my headaches getting worse. Again it could be because I've been up since 4 AM and banging on the key board.

I think you should have a lovely day! Kat

Kat

 Comment Written 17-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 17-Jul-2014

And I think my friend needs a long nap and a hug from Dylan. :-) I am so sorry about your headaches. They are miserable.
Thanks for your great review.
Love, Carolyn

Comment from Bundhoo

Excellent

Wow this is really beautiful poem, specially the picture is awesome which grips the reader all along, beautiful verses !! love it !:)
Regards,
Marwa;p

 Comment Written 17-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 17-Jul-2014

Thanks Marwa, Good to hear from you. :-) Carolyn

Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)

Excellent

A lovely, short free verse. This line confused me until I read it 4 times:

That doesn't mean I have forgotten when we were we
(perhaps change the last 'we' to 'together'?)

Good luck in the contest, my friend. Hugs, Debbie

 Comment Written 17-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 17-Jul-2014

I was not sure how I wanted that to be, and had worked with together, then settled on 'when we (the two of us) were we (the two of us) for some reason it just won. :-)
Thank you for the wonderful comments and best wishes,
Love you and have a great day,
Carolyn

Comment from OLA THOMAS

Excellent

I think exactly what you thought...lol! Done in short form and in few words, you simply deliver you message which is practical and true of life. Nice one.

ola thomas

 Comment Written 17-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 17-Jul-2014

Thank you Ola ,
I love your comments on Longing for you.
:-) Carolyn

Comment from Pyrrho

Excellent

I love your introductory comment. I also rarely write free verse but when I do it is because the subject call for it when I first begin to formulate it, Such is not the case here clearly, because it is a competition.

I am not a talented reviewer of free verse but if I had created this one and then sat down to study it and improve it with editing, I would revise (reverse) the first line to, "Intensity deepens as longing increases.", and I would leave the last line as it stands. that will give the free verse proponents something to analyze and i bet they will have all kinds of deep interpretations, and they will be correct because it takes on all the meanings anyone gives it once you turn it free.

 Comment Written 17-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 17-Jul-2014

I appreciate the in depth comments that you have given with regard to poetic form. and I'm also glad you enjoyed the poem itself. Thank you so much, :-) Carolyn

Comment from royowen

Excellent

This could apply to my dear eldest child, and my 3 grandsons, not to mention my son- in -law, we wish we could see them more often! I guess that's what you're talking about, good luck in this free verse poem, it's so well written, well done, Roy.

 Comment Written 17-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 17-Jul-2014

I like your application to the poem. Thanks for the good luck wishes too.
Love, Carolyn

Comment from linsbm

Excellent

Photo stimulates our thoughts and if we are at the right frame of mind, it gives us pleasure in pondering.

I think you are right, what you had expressed in words is very well revealed in this write. Thoughts flow well in the ordinary usage of the language fluently. I enjoyed the read. Readers will like this as they can relate. Thanks for sharing.) Lin

 Comment Written 17-Jul-2014

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reply by the author on 17-Jul-2014

Thanks Lin for your wonderful review and insightful comments.
I'm glad you enjoyed this one.
:-) Carolyn