Along the Jericho Road
Viewing comments for Chapter 52 "Napha Moon, Part 1"Murder Mystery
40 total reviews
Comment from Roxanna Andrews
Great as always. I want to know how it ends, but then it will be over and I won't have it to look forward to anymore. =} Until next time. Rox
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2014
Great as always. I want to know how it ends, but then it will be over and I won't have it to look forward to anymore. =} Until next time. Rox
Comment Written 13-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2014
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Rox, thank you so much for this generous and delightful review. Hugs, Bev
Comment from InterestingRon
Hi Bev,
Another lovely helping of your detective/murder mystery with scary, spooky things hovering in the background. Great stuff!
On my front , slightly improved vision im my new eye. But I've been told it will take six months for a final result.
Hope you have a wonderful 2014, sweetie.
Ron xox
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2014
Hi Bev,
Another lovely helping of your detective/murder mystery with scary, spooky things hovering in the background. Great stuff!
On my front , slightly improved vision im my new eye. But I've been told it will take six months for a final result.
Hope you have a wonderful 2014, sweetie.
Ron xox
Comment Written 13-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2014
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Ron, thank you for taking time to read and review so kindly. I really appreciate it. And that is wonderful news regarding the improvement. YES!!! Hugs, Bev
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
Gosh, you had me on the end of
my seat, Bev - fancy leaving us
here - hurry with the next part...
pretty please.
such tension!!
and wait for your signal.(")
Margaret
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2014
Gosh, you had me on the end of
my seat, Bev - fancy leaving us
here - hurry with the next part...
pretty please.
such tension!!
and wait for your signal.(")
Margaret
Comment Written 13-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2014
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Thank you so much, Margaret. I appreciate your sharp eye on that spaggie, too. Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from Selina Stambi
Wow! Wow, wow! My dear Bev, how you keep the pace and never disappoint, amazes me!
What a shocker - the scene that awaited them. Brilliant development, my friend. :)
Hugs,
xxx
Sonali
He moved opposite the sound in order to avoid a confrontation ... a bit convoluted ... He moved away from the sound ... perhaps?
He looked around for a bearing, and found .. looked around to get his bearings ... ?
stalking the perimeter of the house(,) distracted Skeets.
of seconds, the light was snuffed (out), the figures
the bizarre sights and sounds (he'd) experienced since leaving St. Matilde's rectory
"The potential for the mother being here(,) changes .. how things," .. how about .. The possibility of the mother being here ... since you've used 'potential' immediately after
together they canvassed the house .. reconnoitred the house?
He(held?) a finger (to) his nose and Derek nodded .. since you've used 'put' just prior
It was here the smell of antiseptic was the strongest .. The smell of antiseptic was strongest here ... ?
bed's headboard was an inverted, ornate crucifix .. I think .. ornate, inverted .. may read a tad smoother
Derek's radio crackled, and he grabbed it(up) ,,, and he grabbed it.
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2014
Wow! Wow, wow! My dear Bev, how you keep the pace and never disappoint, amazes me!
What a shocker - the scene that awaited them. Brilliant development, my friend. :)
Hugs,
xxx
Sonali
He moved opposite the sound in order to avoid a confrontation ... a bit convoluted ... He moved away from the sound ... perhaps?
He looked around for a bearing, and found .. looked around to get his bearings ... ?
stalking the perimeter of the house(,) distracted Skeets.
of seconds, the light was snuffed (out), the figures
the bizarre sights and sounds (he'd) experienced since leaving St. Matilde's rectory
"The potential for the mother being here(,) changes .. how things," .. how about .. The possibility of the mother being here ... since you've used 'potential' immediately after
together they canvassed the house .. reconnoitred the house?
He(held?) a finger (to) his nose and Derek nodded .. since you've used 'put' just prior
It was here the smell of antiseptic was the strongest .. The smell of antiseptic was strongest here ... ?
bed's headboard was an inverted, ornate crucifix .. I think .. ornate, inverted .. may read a tad smoother
Derek's radio crackled, and he grabbed it(up) ,,, and he grabbed it.
Comment Written 13-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2014
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Thanks so much, Sonali for this generous and very helpful review. I'm going to take a second look with your changes in mind, and appreciate all the time you take in your reviewing of my chapters. It's so helpful! Love ya, Bev
Comment from JW
This is another well written chapter. No spags were found and it does a good job at progressing the storyline.
It will be interesting to see what happens next.
Thanks for sharing this. JW
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2014
This is another well written chapter. No spags were found and it does a good job at progressing the storyline.
It will be interesting to see what happens next.
Thanks for sharing this. JW
Comment Written 13-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2014
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Jonathon, thank you so much! :0) Bev
Comment from AprilShower
Now all they have to do is find Edward Pearce. I am wondering how he escaped with all them surrounding the place.
This is quite a mystery, Bev. I'm anxious for the next chapter.
Where did the dog come from and go?
This is well written.
April :o)
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2014
Now all they have to do is find Edward Pearce. I am wondering how he escaped with all them surrounding the place.
This is quite a mystery, Bev. I'm anxious for the next chapter.
Where did the dog come from and go?
This is well written.
April :o)
Comment Written 13-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2014
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April, thank you so much. I'm working on Part 2 now LOL. Hugs, Bev
Comment from boxergirl
This is a good continuation of your story line.
The descriptions and the dialogue kept me
engaged from start to finish. Good job! 8-)
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2014
This is a good continuation of your story line.
The descriptions and the dialogue kept me
engaged from start to finish. Good job! 8-)
Comment Written 13-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2014
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Thanks so much, BG. I appreciate your generosity and encouragement very much! :0) Bev
Comment from Cumbrianlass
What can I say? I want to keep reading, but I don't, because I'm home alone. LOL! Brilliant post, Bev. The suspense you manage to build with your story-telling is fantastic. Not good for my fingernails, mind you!
Impenetrable yews rimmed the exterior - love that! The yew is traditionally a tree steeped in Celtic/pagan legend. Most old English churchyards are planted with yews.
"This is weird(,)" he thought. "Father Brian said Edward lived here with his bedridden mother.
Derek turned the handle and opened the door with ease. Skeets felt the force of Derek's scrutiny. "I know the door was locked!" he wanted to say. - Oh, my... SO creepy. As is the image of those two in the window.
Bravo, as ever. And congrats on BOM nomination - so well deserved.
Love Av
xx
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2014
What can I say? I want to keep reading, but I don't, because I'm home alone. LOL! Brilliant post, Bev. The suspense you manage to build with your story-telling is fantastic. Not good for my fingernails, mind you!
Impenetrable yews rimmed the exterior - love that! The yew is traditionally a tree steeped in Celtic/pagan legend. Most old English churchyards are planted with yews.
"This is weird(,)" he thought. "Father Brian said Edward lived here with his bedridden mother.
Derek turned the handle and opened the door with ease. Skeets felt the force of Derek's scrutiny. "I know the door was locked!" he wanted to say. - Oh, my... SO creepy. As is the image of those two in the window.
Bravo, as ever. And congrats on BOM nomination - so well deserved.
Love Av
xx
Comment Written 13-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2014
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Thanks so much, Av, both for your encouragement and great generosity. Means a lot coming from an artist I admire so much.
I love that bit about the yews. We have some around our home, so I'mm fascinated by the meaning of that!! My husband wants to get rid of them, but I won't let him. Hmmm......
You should be in the list of nominations this month, Av. Your story is so brilliantly written.
Love to you,
Bev
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Thanks, Bev! I don't think 'revised' posts count for anything, actually - ratings or nomination. That's ok. I'm enjoying the re-write of this book.
Av :)
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Oh, I didn't know that. I guess I can see the point, and that explains why you haven't been nominated. Too bad, you would kick butt! xxx Bev
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Hi Writingfundimension,
Whooheeeeee. I wonder if 'Skeets' will figure out how close he came to being demon fodder ...
Great chapter, the fact the perp and the demon are now playing with them makes it just that bit more intense.
Worth a six I think.
Patrick
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2014
Hi Writingfundimension,
Whooheeeeee. I wonder if 'Skeets' will figure out how close he came to being demon fodder ...
Great chapter, the fact the perp and the demon are now playing with them makes it just that bit more intense.
Worth a six I think.
Patrick
Comment Written 13-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2014
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I'm very honored by your generosity and encouragement, Patrick. Unlike Hollywood depictions, the 'experts' point out the demonic ability to use psychological warfare extremely effectively.
A six from a writer whom I admire is always especially rewarding.
Regards, Bev
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Well earned, I assure you.
Patrick
Comment from amahra
So that's the killer. I love that spirit dog in your story. I admit I've neglected a few chapters, but I love that you narrate in the beginning; it helps me to keep up. There is a lot of tension building in your chapters that I like. And your character development is wonderful.
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2014
So that's the killer. I love that spirit dog in your story. I admit I've neglected a few chapters, but I love that you narrate in the beginning; it helps me to keep up. There is a lot of tension building in your chapters that I like. And your character development is wonderful.
Comment Written 13-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2014
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Hi, Amahra. Thanks so much for this very encouraging review. I really appreciate hearing from you, my friend.
Warm regards, Bev