The Clock
5-7-5 Poem19 total reviews
Comment from Leineco
Look at the clock tick
Hear the footsteps of Time come
Closer with each click
Love the concept. . . but how did you resist tock for the last line???
and maybe a sound in the middle line
not meaning to diss what you wrote ('cuz I love the concept) - so much so, that I couldn't resist playing with it
Behold the clock tick
hear the tap of Time's footsteps
closer with each tock
:-) Thanks for the inspirational kick :-)
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2014
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Look at the clock tick
Hear the footsteps of Time come
Closer with each click
Love the concept. . . but how did you resist tock for the last line???
and maybe a sound in the middle line
not meaning to diss what you wrote ('cuz I love the concept) - so much so, that I couldn't resist playing with it
Behold the clock tick
hear the tap of Time's footsteps
closer with each tock
:-) Thanks for the inspirational kick :-)
Comment Written 08-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2014
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Thank you very much for the beautiful review and the suggestion.I will accept your first suggestion-'behold' that is a better choice. The others,I prefer to retain the original.Thanks once again.
Comment from in777wr#
This was very well written. Great personification with "Hear the footsteps of Time come". Sounds kind of creepy. LOL. I loved the rhyming of tick with click. For a short poem, this was great. Your 5-7-5 syllable count is in good order. Wonderful.
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2014
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This was very well written. Great personification with "Hear the footsteps of Time come". Sounds kind of creepy. LOL. I loved the rhyming of tick with click. For a short poem, this was great. Your 5-7-5 syllable count is in good order. Wonderful.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2014
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Thank you very much for your appreciation of my poems
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You're welcome.
Comment from queenv
I love the picture of Father Time. The words of the poem accurately depict the message of the poem. Time is ticking or clicking away. Good job!
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2014
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I love the picture of Father Time. The words of the poem accurately depict the message of the poem. Time is ticking or clicking away. Good job!
Comment Written 08-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2014
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Thank you very much for this beautiful review.
Comment from TAB_that's me
This is very true. Very good 5-7-5 poem for the contest. It has the perfect syllable count. Good luck in the contest.
~Teresa~
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2014
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This is very true. Very good 5-7-5 poem for the contest. It has the perfect syllable count. Good luck in the contest.
~Teresa~
Comment Written 08-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2014
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Thank you very much for .
Comment from RodG
I like how we're made aware of this clock ticking by the emphasis on sound.
Excellent metaphor for each tick: "footsteps of Time."
Good personification of Time's "footsteps coming closer."
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2014
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I like how we're made aware of this clock ticking by the emphasis on sound.
Excellent metaphor for each tick: "footsteps of Time."
Good personification of Time's "footsteps coming closer."
Comment Written 08-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2014
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Thank you very much for this wonderful review.
Comment from zanya
Wow - time's onward march is well captured in this 5-7-5- excellent metaphor 'footsteps of Time ' and an equally excellent pic
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014
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Wow - time's onward march is well captured in this 5-7-5- excellent metaphor 'footsteps of Time ' and an equally excellent pic
Comment Written 08-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014
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Thank you very very much for this .You have made my day.
Comment from Jackarrie
Look at the clock tick
Hear the footsteps of Time come
Closer with each click
Time waits for no man, a very good entry into the contest.
good luck
Mary
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2014
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Look at the clock tick
Hear the footsteps of Time come
Closer with each click
Time waits for no man, a very good entry into the contest.
good luck
Mary
Comment Written 08-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2014
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Thank you very much for reading and reviewing my poem.
Comment from CR Delport
Time is something that nobody can stop. No matter what we do, time goes on and waits for no one. Thanks for sharing these well written words.
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reply by the author on 09-Jan-2014
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Time is something that nobody can stop. No matter what we do, time goes on and waits for no one. Thanks for sharing these well written words.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2014
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Thank you very much for for appreciating my poem.
Comment from rjuselius
"Look at the clock tick
Hear the footsteps of Time come
Closer with each click"
a clever little poem! every second is towards old age. tick tock like the crocodile's stomach in peter pan.
thank you for sharing!
rebekka x
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2014
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"Look at the clock tick
Hear the footsteps of Time come
Closer with each click"
a clever little poem! every second is towards old age. tick tock like the crocodile's stomach in peter pan.
thank you for sharing!
rebekka x
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2014
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Thank you very much for reading and appreciating my poem.