To Cherish Thorns
Viewing comments for Chapter 43 "Dominion's Brief Glory"Free Verse Poetry
19 total reviews
Comment from ericawrites
This is a great poem,
well thought out,
gives the reader
a mental image of the
scene, aided by the
beautiful art work.
Well done,
thank you for sharing.
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This is a great poem,
well thought out,
gives the reader
a mental image of the
scene, aided by the
beautiful art work.
Well done,
thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 09-Nov-2013
Comment from Devon Phipps
Wow! Very nice piece of work. There are certain types of characters in your writing, that to some effect draws me in. I don't know whether it is the word choice, or the imagery created but together, they mend very well. Thank you for posting
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Wow! Very nice piece of work. There are certain types of characters in your writing, that to some effect draws me in. I don't know whether it is the word choice, or the imagery created but together, they mend very well. Thank you for posting
Comment Written 09-Nov-2013
Comment from amanda98653
An amazing write, Mikey.
Definitely exceptional.
The title is profound: Dominion's Brief Glory.
Deep and full of wisdom.
"Once again, mighty forest, the battle is engaged.
Long have I rested, midst these silly fairies
and this foul pukish stench"
The words flow smoothly.
A hint of humor there with the involvement of "silly fairies" and "pukish stench."
I love these lines:
"and are now lying
like a crinkled, crispy corpse upon the ground."
Flawless alliteration in harsh "c"
Just one suggestion:
"I will horribly howl and hellatious breezes blow"
I think it should be "hellacious" instead of "hellatious"
Love all your descriptions of snow..creating personification:
"Feel my wretched, drenching downpour
on your brittle, skinless bones,
frozen missiles, hurled relentlessly
downward.....sideways striking vicious blows."
your author notes made me laugh:)
Huggies
Amanda
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An amazing write, Mikey.
Definitely exceptional.
The title is profound: Dominion's Brief Glory.
Deep and full of wisdom.
"Once again, mighty forest, the battle is engaged.
Long have I rested, midst these silly fairies
and this foul pukish stench"
The words flow smoothly.
A hint of humor there with the involvement of "silly fairies" and "pukish stench."
I love these lines:
"and are now lying
like a crinkled, crispy corpse upon the ground."
Flawless alliteration in harsh "c"
Just one suggestion:
"I will horribly howl and hellatious breezes blow"
I think it should be "hellacious" instead of "hellatious"
Love all your descriptions of snow..creating personification:
"Feel my wretched, drenching downpour
on your brittle, skinless bones,
frozen missiles, hurled relentlessly
downward.....sideways striking vicious blows."
your author notes made me laugh:)
Huggies
Amanda
Comment Written 09-Nov-2013
Comment from djsaxon
Mikey, this is pretty awesome. What works for me is the language throughout the piece. Always strong and ebullient. Allit is good (sometimes a little cheeky - hellatious? mmmm). Let 'em google it LOL. Seriously mate, a really strong write. Be proud - DJ
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Mikey, this is pretty awesome. What works for me is the language throughout the piece. Always strong and ebullient. Allit is good (sometimes a little cheeky - hellatious? mmmm). Let 'em google it LOL. Seriously mate, a really strong write. Be proud - DJ
Comment Written 09-Nov-2013
Comment from CrystieCookie999
This would sound awesome read aloud with this personification of winter. I felt just a bit naughty while reading the stanza:
Oh, dear me, I have shown a bit too much passion,
when I blew a kiss
and every last leaf went flying off your limbs
and are now lying
like a crinkled, crispy corpse upon the ground.
And I especially like that 'c' alliteration.
This sounds odd, but I was not sure if tormentious was even a word; it must have more usage outside of the USA.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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This would sound awesome read aloud with this personification of winter. I felt just a bit naughty while reading the stanza:
Oh, dear me, I have shown a bit too much passion,
when I blew a kiss
and every last leaf went flying off your limbs
and are now lying
like a crinkled, crispy corpse upon the ground.
And I especially like that 'c' alliteration.
This sounds odd, but I was not sure if tormentious was even a word; it must have more usage outside of the USA.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Nov-2013
Comment from country ranch writer
WINTER COMES TRAPSING IN AND COVERS EVERYTHING FROM HEAD TO TOW ALL PROUD OF ITSELF FOR PUTTING EVERYTHING IN ITS PLACE TILL WINTER COMES TO AN END IT HAS WON ONCE AGAIN
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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WINTER COMES TRAPSING IN AND COVERS EVERYTHING FROM HEAD TO TOW ALL PROUD OF ITSELF FOR PUTTING EVERYTHING IN ITS PLACE TILL WINTER COMES TO AN END IT HAS WON ONCE AGAIN
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Nov-2013
Comment from tbacha58
when I blew a kiss
and every last leaf went flying off your limbs
and are now lying
like a crinkled, crispy corpse upon the ground.
You have become the most adorable outstanding un predictable poetry writer, and I enjoy each and every predictable poem or story you wrote. Your honesty shows so much in your writing, the honesty, is impeccable, your love to live next to real lovable people, shows also so much. Bless u my dearest friend. Hugs Love Terry
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2013
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when I blew a kiss
and every last leaf went flying off your limbs
and are now lying
like a crinkled, crispy corpse upon the ground.
You have become the most adorable outstanding un predictable poetry writer, and I enjoy each and every predictable poem or story you wrote. Your honesty shows so much in your writing, the honesty, is impeccable, your love to live next to real lovable people, shows also so much. Bless u my dearest friend. Hugs Love Terry
Comment Written 10-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2013
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I really enjoyed writing this about my favorite, winter. I just let him go crazy this time. hahaha! But, try as he will. Spring always returns. big hugs, mikey
Comment from Sasha
This is awesome and would definitely have been a contender in the contest. I must also agree, pride is for sissies. You won't be getting any Big Mac coupons from me, they would be Mexican burgers and I'm not sure if you like jalapenos.
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2013
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This is awesome and would definitely have been a contender in the contest. I must also agree, pride is for sissies. You won't be getting any Big Mac coupons from me, they would be Mexican burgers and I'm not sure if you like jalapenos.
Comment Written 10-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2013
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Yes, I love jalapeños. I do most of the cooking here. It's a board and care for mentally impaired folks and I put mild chilis in everything. hahaha! If you can make chile rellenos than I am on a plane! Glad you liked this. It was fun to let winter go crazy for once, mikey
Comment from Darkhorse555
loved these words dear friend I have shown a bit too much passion, when I blew a kiss and every last leaf went flying off your limbs beautifully crafted i tip my hat to you
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2013
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loved these words dear friend I have shown a bit too much passion, when I blew a kiss and every last leaf went flying off your limbs beautifully crafted i tip my hat to you
Comment Written 10-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2013
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This was fun to let winter go crazy and tear it all up for once. ha! great review. glad you enjoyed it! mikey