Christopher Colby
Spoilt kids aren't happy kids.22 total reviews
Comment from Gladness
Wow, what a picture you found! Gave me a start. Very good poem. You've described a spoiled bully to the tee. Glad the parents in this poem finally woke up.
You've followed all the contest rules, good luck ;)
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
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Wow, what a picture you found! Gave me a start. Very good poem. You've described a spoiled bully to the tee. Glad the parents in this poem finally woke up.
You've followed all the contest rules, good luck ;)
Comment Written 23-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
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Thank you so much for the review and nice comments. Yes, that picture gave me a start too. I wasn't sure I should use it.
Beth
Comment from Earl of Oxford
Thanks very much for entering, Beth.
Clever AAAA rhyme scheme throughout (though last stanza 'treads/yens' doesn't quite fit to me), and I'm not sure what either word means in its context.
Good job Chris's parents wised up in the end and taught him proper values in behaviour and the need to earn his keep.
This turned him into a much better and more popular kid. Shame they let him get the way to start with.
Nice one.
Good luck and best wishes, Ray
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
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Thanks very much for entering, Beth.
Clever AAAA rhyme scheme throughout (though last stanza 'treads/yens' doesn't quite fit to me), and I'm not sure what either word means in its context.
Good job Chris's parents wised up in the end and taught him proper values in behaviour and the need to earn his keep.
This turned him into a much better and more popular kid. Shame they let him get the way to start with.
Nice one.
Good luck and best wishes, Ray
Comment Written 23-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
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Thank you so much Ray If I put treads that is a misspelling and I will correct it. It is supposed to be trends and yens.
It was a fun contest. Thanks for sponsoring it.
Beth
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Good job. I had a grandson like that. He and I did not get along because I didn't spoil him. I wanted to. He was the spitting image of my husband. So cute but so ugly. He has children of his own today. I have not seen them. We are estranged although he did ask about me the last time he talked to my daughter. Told her to take care of me. HA. Things change I guess. Nancy
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
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Good job. I had a grandson like that. He and I did not get along because I didn't spoil him. I wanted to. He was the spitting image of my husband. So cute but so ugly. He has children of his own today. I have not seen them. We are estranged although he did ask about me the last time he talked to my daughter. Told her to take care of me. HA. Things change I guess. Nancy
Comment Written 23-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
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Thank you so much for the review and comments, Nancy. It is too bad you and the grandson are estranged. I hope he did get over being spoiled but some never do.
Beth
Comment from adewpearl
fantastic picture LOL
I like his alliterative name
good mono-rhyming in each stanza
excellent illustrative examples of bratty behavior
follow everyday - should be every day
good resolution when his parent s finally see the light
Brooke
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
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fantastic picture LOL
I like his alliterative name
good mono-rhyming in each stanza
excellent illustrative examples of bratty behavior
follow everyday - should be every day
good resolution when his parent s finally see the light
Brooke
Comment Written 23-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
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Thank you Brooke, I appreciate your review and comments and thanks for catching the error.
Beth
Comment from chasdflynn
I like the ryhme and the way it flows. I am pretty sure though you did not adhere to the rules of the game. You have a few lines that go beyond ten syallbles. No?
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
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I like the ryhme and the way it flows. I am pretty sure though you did not adhere to the rules of the game. You have a few lines that go beyond ten syallbles. No?
Comment Written 23-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
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Thank you for the review and comments. I don't think I have any that go beyond ten. I counted them all. If you see any I wish you'd tell me. I thought every might have three syllable but I checked and there are only two.
Beth
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Okay I am pretty sure, but I will double check. For instance they told me poem was two syllables and I thought it was one.
Comment from Meta~Mark
Christopher Colby indeed is a spoiled brat and this is an excellent entry into this SPOILT KID writing prompt entry, but a happy ending for the brat named Chris!!
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
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Christopher Colby indeed is a spoiled brat and this is an excellent entry into this SPOILT KID writing prompt entry, but a happy ending for the brat named Chris!!
Comment Written 23-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
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Thank you so much Mark. I really appreciate the review and nice comments.
Beth
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Yes this reads very well the story built well and you managed to turn things around for the ending well done I enjoyed good luck in the contest regards Jill
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
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Yes this reads very well the story built well and you managed to turn things around for the ending well done I enjoyed good luck in the contest regards Jill
Comment Written 23-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
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Thank you Jill, I really appreciate your review and nice comments.
Beth
Comment from lakeport
Some kids are behave like brats, Dad was right to get tough and it made some change. A well written story poem,nice rhyme. I enjoyed reading it.God bless you. Hugs!lakeport.
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
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Some kids are behave like brats, Dad was right to get tough and it made some change. A well written story poem,nice rhyme. I enjoyed reading it.God bless you. Hugs!lakeport.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
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Thank you so much for the review and nice comment. I think kids are happier with rules. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Beth
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your welcome.
maybe could you review one of my poems,Thank you.Lakewport.
Comment from dmt1967
This is a very good poem a child generally is selfish I think its up to the parent to teach their child not to be very well written poem good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
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This is a very good poem a child generally is selfish I think its up to the parent to teach their child not to be very well written poem good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing
Comment Written 23-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
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Thank you for reading and commenting on my poem. I apprecate the good withes.
Beth
Comment from terry drake
well that is certainly a surprise that comes from a kid who learned his leasson and at an early age knew how to give someone the finger.
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
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well that is certainly a surprise that comes from a kid who learned his leasson and at an early age knew how to give someone the finger.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2012
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That picture was something of a shock to me as well, but he certainly looks like a brat. Thank for the review.
Beth