I Hereby Crown Thee ...
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "A Dream of Droll Dichotomy's Design"A collection of crowns of sonnets
74 total reviews
Comment from Sherry Asbury
Well-written and smooth as silk. Yes, i is long, but this poem kept my interest from word one on. I found no nits, Brooke got there first (: Good artwork and music... I find this form very difficult and admire you for the fine job you did!!
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2012
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Well-written and smooth as silk. Yes, i is long, but this poem kept my interest from word one on. I found no nits, Brooke got there first (: Good artwork and music... I find this form very difficult and admire you for the fine job you did!!
Comment Written 15-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2012
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Thank you, Sherry :-). These monsters have to be approached when one is in the right frame of mind! Brooke and Rama Devi got me into shape very quickly, which was very much appeciated! So happy you enjoyed the read.
Mike
Comment from JW
Yes. I agree with your author's note where you state this is super long. However, it is so well written that the lines and stanza literally fly by. Before you know it, the poem has finished. Thus one is left, pondering it's message.
Good job. JW
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2012
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Yes. I agree with your author's note where you state this is super long. However, it is so well written that the lines and stanza literally fly by. Before you know it, the poem has finished. Thus one is left, pondering it's message.
Good job. JW
Comment Written 15-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2012
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Thank you, JW :-). It's definitely one to ponder, which a couple of people have criticised me for. Glad you enjoyed it!
Mike
Comment from al1801
Mike,
I envy those who can pluck the words out and form them into a sonnet - what an artform. You did this artform proud with your sonnet. I was captured by the alliteration in the title: "A Dream of Droll Dichotomy's Design." Oh yes! and the free mini concert.
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2012
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Mike,
I envy those who can pluck the words out and form them into a sonnet - what an artform. You did this artform proud with your sonnet. I was captured by the alliteration in the title: "A Dream of Droll Dichotomy's Design." Oh yes! and the free mini concert.
Comment Written 15-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2012
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Thank you :-). I'm so glad you enjoyed it. When the flow kicks in with something this long, it's an amazing feeling!
Mike
Comment from robina1978
It is so long that I part-read it and it is so good. Liked that you chose the heroic one. I am still struggling with my first single Sonnet-LOL. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2012
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It is so long that I part-read it and it is so good. Liked that you chose the heroic one. I am still struggling with my first single Sonnet-LOL. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 15-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2012
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Thanks, Robina :-). You'll get there; once you crack the meter, nothing can stop a sonnet.
Mike
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Meter is not so easy as I am Dutch, but I will get there in the end, I hope,
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
My, this is remarkable..
must have taken you an age
to write, Mike.. the content,
the flow to the words and to
both rhythm and rhyme, all excellent.
all in all, most impressive....
good luck with the contest, my friend.
Margaret
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2012
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My, this is remarkable..
must have taken you an age
to write, Mike.. the content,
the flow to the words and to
both rhythm and rhyme, all excellent.
all in all, most impressive....
good luck with the contest, my friend.
Margaret
Comment Written 15-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2012
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Thank you, Margaret. This took about 40 minutes, or as long as the 5:04 from Victoria takes to reach Welling. Of course, it then took me hours to get rid of all the repeat rhymes for the contest, and still have something I liked. I can compose at a hundred miles an hour, but I'm awful at correcting my poetry! I'm so happy you enjoyed it :-).
Mike
Comment from babylonia
mike,
wow~ promoted all you can? that's a pretty fricking big promotion at that. i forgot about these crown of heroic sonnets. you have definitely done this one justice. it does go with jude's poem about worry. people fear what they can't see, night and the unknown which usually goes hand in hand. imagery is excellent. i hope this helps to drop kick your muse into high gear.
love,
barbara
how are your book sales? needing promotion?
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2012
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mike,
wow~ promoted all you can? that's a pretty fricking big promotion at that. i forgot about these crown of heroic sonnets. you have definitely done this one justice. it does go with jude's poem about worry. people fear what they can't see, night and the unknown which usually goes hand in hand. imagery is excellent. i hope this helps to drop kick your muse into high gear.
love,
barbara
how are your book sales? needing promotion?
Comment Written 15-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2012
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Thank you, Barbara:-). Books sales aren't up to much. Free Man's Game is selling one every couple of days, but Bran's Torment sales are nearly all attributable to friends! Looks like crime/detective drama is the genre to be in! I definitely need to come up with some decent marketing ideas!
Mike
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mike,
that's why my first book out will be blood river. i figure people will be more likely to buy a murder/mystery than some of the others. i'll be talking you and snodlander up on facebook.
love,
barbara
Comment from asheagold
This is very well written. beautiful imagery created by your descriptive words. The background and the picture only add to its beauty. Each line flows smoothly into the next. Your choice of words is excellent as well as the rhthym. Great job!
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2012
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This is very well written. beautiful imagery created by your descriptive words. The background and the picture only add to its beauty. Each line flows smoothly into the next. Your choice of words is excellent as well as the rhthym. Great job!
Comment Written 15-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2012
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Thanks so much for the great review :-). I'm so glad you enjoyed tgis piece.
Mike
Comment from Just2Write
Mike, this is such a great submission to the contest. It is full with rich thought and original words. A pleasure to read (although I did get lost in the meaning in a couple of places)
The meter works well in most places, but I did trip up on a couple of lines.
unto a land of dreams without aplomb
UNto A land OF dreams WITHout Aplomp
Suggestion for a fix:
with rhetoric, we follow better plots
unto a land of dreams without aplomb
that LIVES in LANDS of DREAMS withOUT aPLOMB
The repeating line on Sonnet IV / V changes slightly -
while shadowing our faces in a hood.
whilst shadowing our faces in a hood.
Either works well. I liked whilst - but I think you need to choose one or the other.
Great job, my friend. This was a phenominal challenge.
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2012
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Mike, this is such a great submission to the contest. It is full with rich thought and original words. A pleasure to read (although I did get lost in the meaning in a couple of places)
The meter works well in most places, but I did trip up on a couple of lines.
unto a land of dreams without aplomb
UNto A land OF dreams WITHout Aplomp
Suggestion for a fix:
with rhetoric, we follow better plots
unto a land of dreams without aplomb
that LIVES in LANDS of DREAMS withOUT aPLOMB
The repeating line on Sonnet IV / V changes slightly -
while shadowing our faces in a hood.
whilst shadowing our faces in a hood.
Either works well. I liked whilst - but I think you need to choose one or the other.
Great job, my friend. This was a phenominal challenge.
Comment Written 15-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2012
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Thanks so much! This has been a nightmare to edit, but many people have given invaluable thoughts. Good catch on whilst/while! I'm so glad you enjoyed the read :-).
Mike
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Good luck in this contest, my dear. Your entry is superb. Rose.
Comment from Herb
My my, that was a mouthful.
Great rhythm throughout. It is in that classic, obscure Fleedle style which leaves a lot to be thought about. I liked the beginning and end line which rounds it off well. I'm amazed you could pull it off in such a short space of time. You have a talent for rhythm.
With such a big piece for me I would of enjoyed it more if it were more solid and not so challenging on the cognitive processes. Or maybe it's me that's cognitively challenged.
Peter
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2012
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My my, that was a mouthful.
Great rhythm throughout. It is in that classic, obscure Fleedle style which leaves a lot to be thought about. I liked the beginning and end line which rounds it off well. I'm amazed you could pull it off in such a short space of time. You have a talent for rhythm.
With such a big piece for me I would of enjoyed it more if it were more solid and not so challenging on the cognitive processes. Or maybe it's me that's cognitively challenged.
Peter
Comment Written 15-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2012
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lol, thanks Peter. It's not you, it's me and my penchant for obfuscation. heehee
Admittedly, this is a headache-inducer, but I was on a roll so I thought I'd hang on and see where I ended up. So glad you enjoyed :-).
Mike
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Obfuscation :/ LOL. I think it's probably a bit of both. Stream of conciousness in iambic meter, that's just showing off. :)
Comment from Rose Hearth
This is a wonderful crown! I enjoyed the read, and give kudos for keeping true to the sonnet form. Best of luck in this most difficult contest.
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2012
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This is a wonderful crown! I enjoyed the read, and give kudos for keeping true to the sonnet form. Best of luck in this most difficult contest.
Comment Written 15-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2012
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Thanks so much, Rose :-). I'm thrilled you enjoyed it!
Mike