Steve's Poems for Kids
Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "Almost..."A collection of my children's poems
87 total reviews
Comment from Jeanie Mercer
As always, you have written an excellent and clever poem, and I'm glad to see it won the contest. I appreciate you give your full attention to technicalities of rhythm and rhyme, even in light-hearted poems. My best to you, Jeanie Mercer
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2011
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As always, you have written an excellent and clever poem, and I'm glad to see it won the contest. I appreciate you give your full attention to technicalities of rhythm and rhyme, even in light-hearted poems. My best to you, Jeanie Mercer
Comment Written 02-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2011
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Thank you - glad you enjoyed. The prize was actually shared four ways in this contest.
As to technicalities, I usually just let things flow - My wife is a good backup as she is a trained musician who has an excellent ear for rhythm.
Steve
Steve
Comment from ElPoetry001
Six stars.
Mentoring is a must, children alone we cannot trust.
Experiments they will try, and during the cleanup, we cry.
Is my child precocious or obnoxious? Either way, I have to shadow him everyday.
A leash would be uncivil, but it would let me live a little.
Maybe a fenced in area bright and gay, and I could close my eyes while he played away, he couldn't get away, he couldn't hurt himself in the sea of pillows, Good idea.
Trade him in, never mind, he is one of a kind; mine.
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2011
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Six stars.
Mentoring is a must, children alone we cannot trust.
Experiments they will try, and during the cleanup, we cry.
Is my child precocious or obnoxious? Either way, I have to shadow him everyday.
A leash would be uncivil, but it would let me live a little.
Maybe a fenced in area bright and gay, and I could close my eyes while he played away, he couldn't get away, he couldn't hurt himself in the sea of pillows, Good idea.
Trade him in, never mind, he is one of a kind; mine.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2011
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Thank you for your rhyming revie and the six stars - much appreciated.
Steve
Comment from Ekim777
THe kid has charm and we soon discern his own inimitable character but his independent spirit is unbelievable. I mean exploration and curiosity is part of the growing process but doesn't this kid know right from wrong at least in his parents eyes? Sometimes the irrepressible child almost succeeds in his endeavors at least in his own eyes and that is the important thing. Meanwhile our poet reveals all in a masterful style. He displays the same charm as his damned kid. "I almost ate a fuzzy worm as my new sandwich filler/My daddy says he's really called a 'bleedin' caterpillar. But the best is saved for last."Tell me why is mommy googling; ' How to get your child adopted.' To return to our poet. He does a slick job of rhythm an Rhyme. Nice work. - EKim
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
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THe kid has charm and we soon discern his own inimitable character but his independent spirit is unbelievable. I mean exploration and curiosity is part of the growing process but doesn't this kid know right from wrong at least in his parents eyes? Sometimes the irrepressible child almost succeeds in his endeavors at least in his own eyes and that is the important thing. Meanwhile our poet reveals all in a masterful style. He displays the same charm as his damned kid. "I almost ate a fuzzy worm as my new sandwich filler/My daddy says he's really called a 'bleedin' caterpillar. But the best is saved for last."Tell me why is mommy googling; ' How to get your child adopted.' To return to our poet. He does a slick job of rhythm an Rhyme. Nice work. - EKim
Comment Written 02-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
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Thank you so much for the six stars and the enthusiastic review, although ny first thought is that you've gone overboard analysing the kid's motives... I didn't put that much tought into it, Im afraid to say - it just seemed funny.
Steve
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You have illustrated a kid with character and we see the world through his eyes. it is indeed funny.
Comment from Thomas11
That poem was incredibly witty and funny. And yet it leaves me feeling strangely guilty which is sort of funny because i dont even remember doing all that stuff when i was a kid.
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
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That poem was incredibly witty and funny. And yet it leaves me feeling strangely guilty which is sort of funny because i dont even remember doing all that stuff when i was a kid.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
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Maybe when you get to your second childhood - I am obviously well into mine since my best-received poems are thos written from a child's point of view!
Steve
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
'Almost....' is a delightfully entertaining piece. This talented poet has with this work, made a good case for not having children! It was a pleasure to read and review a work of this standard.
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
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'Almost....' is a delightfully entertaining piece. This talented poet has with this work, made a good case for not having children! It was a pleasure to read and review a work of this standard.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
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Too late for me, I fear - I was , of course, writing from experience!
Thanks
Steve
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Have you learnt from the experience?
Best wishes, the Duchess
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Well at least I haven't started up a second batch like both of my brothers have!
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Good grief. I had no idea that you came from such a fertile family!
Comment from the old guy
As the father of three who are thankfully grown and on their own , I've become the granpa to three little boys too, and i can say without fear, tha this could be about any of my three, and any of my 'grand' three.Very well written!
)But, you know, I would trade any of the six of them!)
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
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As the father of three who are thankfully grown and on their own , I've become the granpa to three little boys too, and i can say without fear, tha this could be about any of my three, and any of my 'grand' three.Very well written!
)But, you know, I would trade any of the six of them!)
Comment Written 02-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
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Thank you for your kind words - glad you enjoyed this bit of fun.
I'm hoping you meant 'wouldn't' in your final sentence.
Steve
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
This is a very good spoof on how children think. They trey so hard to be helpful, but once they get to the age they actually are, they seem to lose interest. Congrats on a wonderful poem and all of your awards!!! Debbie
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
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This is a very good spoof on how children think. They trey so hard to be helpful, but once they get to the age they actually are, they seem to lose interest. Congrats on a wonderful poem and all of your awards!!! Debbie
Comment Written 02-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
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Thanks, Debbie.
I seem to be doing well with poems from a child's point of view. My wife says that's quite understandable...
Steve
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She's very funny!!! Debbie
Comment from The Stranger
well this leaves me in no doubt as to how the contest was won by this, it is extremely witty, very well presented with a picture of utter mayhem!
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
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well this leaves me in no doubt as to how the contest was won by this, it is extremely witty, very well presented with a picture of utter mayhem!
Comment Written 02-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
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Thank you so much for the kind review.
I seem to be on a hot winning streak with poems written from the point of view of a young child. I am baffled, but my wife says it makes perfect sense.
Steve
Comment from Spitfire
I see why this won! Great incidents,fun words. Love million-squillon miles and fuzzy worm as sandwich filler, and "fiksh your miffing toof"; the horrid words by Mom and Dad in bed and the end with Momma googling about adoption! Effortless rhyme even with "choppeded " because that's how kids mispronounce words. My hat's off to you.
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
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I see why this won! Great incidents,fun words. Love million-squillon miles and fuzzy worm as sandwich filler, and "fiksh your miffing toof"; the horrid words by Mom and Dad in bed and the end with Momma googling about adoption! Effortless rhyme even with "choppeded " because that's how kids mispronounce words. My hat's off to you.
Comment Written 01-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
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Thank you so much for the kind review.
I seem to be on a hot winning streak with poems written from the point of view of a young child. I am baffled, but my wife says it makes perfect sense.
Steve
Comment from jaeladarling
Hahaha, I think this is like, the Child's Anthem or something. I'm betting just about every kid has "almost" done these things or similar! A great read; thanks for sharing, and congrats on winning!
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
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Hahaha, I think this is like, the Child's Anthem or something. I'm betting just about every kid has "almost" done these things or similar! A great read; thanks for sharing, and congrats on winning!
Comment Written 01-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2011
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Thank you so much for the kind review.
I seem to be on a hot winning streak with poems written from the point of view of a young child. I am baffled, but my wife says it makes perfect sense.
Steve