I Hereby Crown Thee ...
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "By Nightmare's Dark Decree"A collection of crowns of sonnets
115 total reviews
Comment from ameen786
Hello Mike, what a masterpiece of poetry my friend, your huge talent is reflected in every single verse, great in rhyme/meter and a delight to read, thank you very much, hope the dream's over, take care.
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2011
  |
Hello Mike, what a masterpiece of poetry my friend, your huge talent is reflected in every single verse, great in rhyme/meter and a delight to read, thank you very much, hope the dream's over, take care.
Comment Written 19-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2011
-
Thank you so much for this amazing review :-). This nightmare is much rarer these days, though it pops in to visit every few months. I think it's come to represent any sensation of helplessness in my waking life that I'm not admitting to at the time.
Mike
-
Godspeed my friend.
Comment from susjuly7777
This poem is so supernatural. I betting this Author has special powers, wow so spooky. This reminds me of a very good opening to a really good supernatural film.
With a poem like this I wouldn't be surprise if hollywood comes knocking pretty soon. What a talent this Author is.
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2011
 |
This poem is so supernatural. I betting this Author has special powers, wow so spooky. This reminds me of a very good opening to a really good supernatural film.
With a poem like this I wouldn't be surprise if hollywood comes knocking pretty soon. What a talent this Author is.
Comment Written 19-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2011
-
Now that would be one freaky piece of film-making! I'd have to be on board as artistic director, of course. Thanks so much for the great review :-).
Mike
Comment from RuralFrights
Six stars for several reasons:
1) Such a theoretical explanation of a dream/night terror would be very difficult to write, even with excellent use of assimilation.
2) I think that your work (assuming it is about you and your recurring dream--I'm sure it is), would have to be a longer read to convey the point home with the reader. This work is like showing a blind man a sunset" principle.
3) Excellent Crown of sonnets and ABAB rhyme scheme was superbly followed as well as your rhyming couplet.
4) Great on the iambic pentameter.
5) Following such structure when expressing something so real but unseen and misunderstood is remarkable
I'm very impressed. Best to you!
Tommy
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2011
|
Six stars for several reasons:
1) Such a theoretical explanation of a dream/night terror would be very difficult to write, even with excellent use of assimilation.
2) I think that your work (assuming it is about you and your recurring dream--I'm sure it is), would have to be a longer read to convey the point home with the reader. This work is like showing a blind man a sunset" principle.
3) Excellent Crown of sonnets and ABAB rhyme scheme was superbly followed as well as your rhyming couplet.
4) Great on the iambic pentameter.
5) Following such structure when expressing something so real but unseen and misunderstood is remarkable
I'm very impressed. Best to you!
Tommy
Comment Written 19-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2011
-
Thanks so much for the awesome review and high score, Tommy :-). I've been meaning to turn this dream into a poem for some time now, so it felt good to finally sit down and let the words come.
Mike
Comment from Ruby76
I love this poem. It evokes all kinds of images for the reader. Great tempo and cadence with the ABAB rhyme scheme. A bit dark (which I like). My two favorite lines: "drives a spike of hatred through my soul," and "desolation of the future's past" - I love that! Seems like this would make good lyrics to a song.
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2011
|
I love this poem. It evokes all kinds of images for the reader. Great tempo and cadence with the ABAB rhyme scheme. A bit dark (which I like). My two favorite lines: "drives a spike of hatred through my soul," and "desolation of the future's past" - I love that! Seems like this would make good lyrics to a song.
Comment Written 19-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2011
-
Thank you, Ruby :-). I'm so glad you enjoyed it - I'm sure this could be turned into a song of some sort.
Mike
Comment from Changeisgood
Mike, I'm glad to hear this particular dream is now rare. Writing about it is working with it, which is good. It is the type dream you have to pay attention to. Wow. So, it should change. That seems to be the trouble with it. The recurrence, the not changing. But it sounds as if it's worn itself out.
I can admire the stamina you needed to finally confront it in words. It is possible it is a past life memory, espeically when you say it's been with you so long. That doesn't mean you had to be evil, but maybe suffered and saw great destruction. That would leave quite a residue. NOw, sweeter dreams I hope.
About the poem. Liked the repetition. The main idea I received was not being unable to relate to why any of this is happening to you, yet it is, or WAS.
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2011
|
Mike, I'm glad to hear this particular dream is now rare. Writing about it is working with it, which is good. It is the type dream you have to pay attention to. Wow. So, it should change. That seems to be the trouble with it. The recurrence, the not changing. But it sounds as if it's worn itself out.
I can admire the stamina you needed to finally confront it in words. It is possible it is a past life memory, espeically when you say it's been with you so long. That doesn't mean you had to be evil, but maybe suffered and saw great destruction. That would leave quite a residue. NOw, sweeter dreams I hope.
About the poem. Liked the repetition. The main idea I received was not being unable to relate to why any of this is happening to you, yet it is, or WAS.
Comment Written 19-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2011
-
Thank you, Change, for your thoughtful and encouraging review :-). I've always had a totally loony imagination, so it's possible my brain's putting some decidedly abstract interpretations on what it's trying to tell me. Either way, it made a solid basis for the poem :-).
Mike
Comment from Twomoon
wow, happened to be wandering around in the dark and stumbled upon this masterpiece! What a write, an image of one of my favorite poets, Poe, comes to my deepest darkest thoughts! magnificant work, my favorite is all the lines starting at celestial! Just brilliant! hugs twomoon
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2011
|
wow, happened to be wandering around in the dark and stumbled upon this masterpiece! What a write, an image of one of my favorite poets, Poe, comes to my deepest darkest thoughts! magnificant work, my favorite is all the lines starting at celestial! Just brilliant! hugs twomoon
Comment Written 19-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2011
-
Thank you so much, Twomoon :-). I've had several people compare this to Poe now - what an amazing compliment! It felt good to pour this out onto paper, and I'm so glad you enjoyed the read.
Mike
Comment from Tom C. Adams
Masterful, fleedleflump [I hope you don't mind if I call you Mike]. This poem is just what I needed. It is amazing the variety of quality here in fanstory. Your effort here is astonishing. The storyline is crystal clear, and the emotional reaction built and built until I read
"It's helplessness that rots the dreaming mind
and uselessness that every day pre-empts
attempts to find the enemies I fight
in barren dreams. I suffer endless nights.
That did it. You won me over in spades. I am very possessive with the sixes I have, but this one fell from me like it was slippery.
Masterful, Mike, masterful.
Tom C. Adams
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2011
|
Masterful, fleedleflump [I hope you don't mind if I call you Mike]. This poem is just what I needed. It is amazing the variety of quality here in fanstory. Your effort here is astonishing. The storyline is crystal clear, and the emotional reaction built and built until I read
"It's helplessness that rots the dreaming mind
and uselessness that every day pre-empts
attempts to find the enemies I fight
in barren dreams. I suffer endless nights.
That did it. You won me over in spades. I am very possessive with the sixes I have, but this one fell from me like it was slippery.
Masterful, Mike, masterful.
Tom C. Adams
Comment Written 19-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2011
-
Thank you, Tom! After a raft of complaints that it's too long and/or confusing, It's heartening to get such an encouraging review :-). I am also very precious about sixes, and often have some left at the end of the week, so I appreciate the vote of confidence. Thanks again!
Mike
-
Too long...I remember a 1970s television interview of Burt Backarach. Speaking about Isaac Hayes' track "The Theme From Shaft", he said "The only thing wrong with it is that it is too short." Enjoy the rest of your Wednesday, Mike.
Tom C. Adams
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
Very nicely written. I have a condition called Nightmare Disorder which causes nightmares whenever I reach REM sleep. The dreams wake me up,and then if I go back to sleep, they start again. I can identify with this poem and sympathize for you and your nightmares~Debbie
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2011
|
Very nicely written. I have a condition called Nightmare Disorder which causes nightmares whenever I reach REM sleep. The dreams wake me up,and then if I go back to sleep, they start again. I can identify with this poem and sympathize for you and your nightmares~Debbie
Comment Written 19-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2011
-
Thank you, Debbie. That sound like a terrible condition! Is the trick to try and avoid REM sleep, or to try and view the nightmares as something less intimidating? Or am I completely wrong?
I'm so happy you liked my piece :-).
Mike
Comment from fionageorge
You didn't need to promote it to so much for me to read this. Once I started reading, I was unable to stop, following this dream, which was described so well, and structured exquisitely in these free flowing stanzas and good rhythm. Thanks for sharing and warmest regards, Marijke :o)
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2011
|
You didn't need to promote it to so much for me to read this. Once I started reading, I was unable to stop, following this dream, which was described so well, and structured exquisitely in these free flowing stanzas and good rhythm. Thanks for sharing and warmest regards, Marijke :o)
Comment Written 19-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2011
-
Thank you, Marijke :-). This one has been begging to be written for a while now, and I finally got round to having a go! I'm so gpad you enjoyed it.
Mike
Comment from Kpj731
wonderful. Very nicely written. I can see why this would have been so hard to do as prose. The poem really does capture the idea of the nightmare. you did a very nice job!
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2011
|
wonderful. Very nicely written. I can see why this would have been so hard to do as prose. The poem really does capture the idea of the nightmare. you did a very nice job!
Comment Written 19-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2011
-
Thank you! I'm so glad you enjoyed reading through my piece :-)
Mike