Reviews from

Another Pretty Face

Viewing comments for Chapter 19 "Chapter 8; part 1"
Can love survive small town gossip?

65 total reviews 
Comment from essence56
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Again another hit. I just love this story and get such enjoyment reading it. I just stahy on edge waiting for the next line,sentence or chapter. Stop the teasing would you. Take care.

 Comment Written 12-Oct-2010


reply by the author on 12-Oct-2010
    Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from jmdg1954
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Excellent chapter again, suspenceful, and intruiging. More interaction between the charectors that enlightens the sstory. Good dialouge once again throughout to me seems natural and not forced. Looking forward to ensuing chapters...

John

 Comment Written 11-Oct-2010


reply by the author on 12-Oct-2010
    Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Dave M
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Barbara,

This is a really good chapter. What do people do in such a taut, stressful situation, when all they can do is wait? You've shown this matter well, which is why I gave you a six-star review. And I don't think Sara should paint the room orange.

I thoroughly enjoyed this read and have several suggestions:

"Noticing she stopped walking, he asked, "Is something wrong?" No nits here, but I found this line a bit hard to follow. I'd write, "When Sara stopped walking, he asked, "Is something wrong?"

"Will the job I love cost me the woman I love." This is a question and needs a question mark instead of a period. It's also a durned good line.

"You're under duress. I [I'd, short for "I had"] better choose the color." And yes, he needs to do that.

Dave

 Comment Written 11-Oct-2010


reply by the author on 11-Oct-2010
    Thank you for your kind review. I appreciate your support. I made the changes.
Comment from Jonez08
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Excellent chapter. The emotions came through well and my heart hurts for Sarah. As a mother I can't imagine going through something like this. Joe is really showing how much he cares. Wonderful guy. Can't wait for the next

Wrapped in a light blue, raggedy terrycloth robe, she rocked in a chair and stared out the open window.
(very nice visual)

Cassandra

 Comment Written 11-Oct-2010


reply by the author on 11-Oct-2010
    Thank you for your kind review. A reviewer commented on me using too many words that end in 'ing' again.
reply by Jonez08 on 11-Oct-2010
    I noticed a couple, but not enough to draw me out of the story. I enjoyed!
Comment from jclark
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

You have created so much suspense and I like how real your characters are. As a mother, I can "feel" the angsting that Sara is experiencing and am very anxious to read what happens next. Good chapter!

 Comment Written 11-Oct-2010


reply by the author on 11-Oct-2010
    Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Excellent
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Hi Barbara,

Building up the hunt nbicely in this chapter, and Joe obviously has a lead on who he thinks is involved. Nice touch at the end with Sarah and George going to paint the living room while they wait.

Patrick

 Comment Written 11-Oct-2010


reply by the author on 11-Oct-2010
    Thank you for your kind review. I had a friend and when her husband would deploy she painted the house. On long deployments she painted it more than once.
Comment from Juliette Chamberlain
Excellent
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I can only imagine how a mother migh feel if her young daughter is missing. I think you have captured how one would behave - the fact that sara was unable to sleep conveys the level of her anxiety very well.
Painting teh house - that might help to keep Sara calm, and is a good close for the chapter.


Juliette

 Comment Written 11-Oct-2010


reply by the author on 11-Oct-2010
    Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from sugardog
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Scary...to have your daughter not come home and not knowing if she's safe or not. Nice job on this chapter, you held my interest til the end and now I wonder what will happen next. The dialogue held my interest and was real and moved the story along. I hope all ends well. The ending was cute-adding a bit of lightness to a horrible incident. Thanks for sharing. Dana

 Comment Written 11-Oct-2010


reply by the author on 11-Oct-2010
    Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from eliz100
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This was another good read from beginning to end. I like the part about painting the room especially the last line.
You are under duress, I better choose the color.

 Comment Written 11-Oct-2010


reply by the author on 11-Oct-2010
    Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Readywriter52
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Sarah is worried and a bit guilty because she was making love while Cassie was abducted. Joe seems to have a calming influence on her. He has his whole team helping. But they don't have a clue to where Cassie is.

 Comment Written 11-Oct-2010


reply by the author on 11-Oct-2010
    Thank you for your kind review.