The Steep Price
a casualty32 total reviews
Comment from Brad Sterling
Rhythm so short, sharp, suits this sad, shocking piece of poetry - words powerfully portray the only too common consequence of suffering in the aftermath of war - from the boy with whom girl was so much in love - to the changed man who returned from war "though his heart's died" - a very emotive piece of writing - good luck in prompt contest.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2010
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Rhythm so short, sharp, suits this sad, shocking piece of poetry - words powerfully portray the only too common consequence of suffering in the aftermath of war - from the boy with whom girl was so much in love - to the changed man who returned from war "though his heart's died" - a very emotive piece of writing - good luck in prompt contest.
Comment Written 30-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2010
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Brad Sterling, thank you so very much for such an in depth review. I appreciate your time very much..thank you!!!
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Words were well deserved - you're very welcome - regards - Brad.
Comment from laren
Wow! This is a very sad love poem which tell us what happened with men who went to the war, willing to serve his country. Their sowls had been killed and society suffer its effects through addictions. They can't bare the horrors they saw there.
I feel touched!
It's very very well written! flows smooth and is very well rhymed. It deserves more than six stars. I'm very sorry I don't have them.
Laren
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2010
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Wow! This is a very sad love poem which tell us what happened with men who went to the war, willing to serve his country. Their sowls had been killed and society suffer its effects through addictions. They can't bare the horrors they saw there.
I feel touched!
It's very very well written! flows smooth and is very well rhymed. It deserves more than six stars. I'm very sorry I don't have them.
Laren
Comment Written 30-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2010
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laren, thank you for such a wonderful review. I am humbled..
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Thank you for sharing your great poem,
Laren
Comment from fionageorge
Powerful, sad, and such a strong reminder of what war can do. Those who live through it and come home, are changed forever. I liked the way you presented this, the form of the poem appropriate to the topic. Great rhythm and rhyme. Well done. Warmest regards, Marijke
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2010
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Powerful, sad, and such a strong reminder of what war can do. Those who live through it and come home, are changed forever. I liked the way you presented this, the form of the poem appropriate to the topic. Great rhythm and rhyme. Well done. Warmest regards, Marijke
Comment Written 30-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2010
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fionageorge, thank you so very much. I appreciate your time and your review!!!!
Comment from bhogg
Poignant and sad. A lot of young men and women lose their way. Your rhyme and metric made this a very easy read. Well done.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2010
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Poignant and sad. A lot of young men and women lose their way. Your rhyme and metric made this a very easy read. Well done.
Comment Written 30-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2010
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bhogg, thank you so very very much for stopping by to read my offering. thank you...
Comment from Carol Johnson
Very well written. Emotional. The story you tell here touches the reader. Your word choices are excellent. The emotion raw. Great job.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2010
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Very well written. Emotional. The story you tell here touches the reader. Your word choices are excellent. The emotion raw. Great job.
Comment Written 29-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2010
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Carol Johnson, thank you so very much for stopping by to read and review my offering. I appreciate you very much..
Comment from Carol Johnson
Very well written. Emotional. The story you tell here touches the reader. Your word choices are excellent. The emotion raw. Great job.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2010
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Very well written. Emotional. The story you tell here touches the reader. Your word choices are excellent. The emotion raw. Great job.
Comment Written 29-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2010
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Carol Johnson, I apologize for just responding to our wonderful review. Thank you so very very much..jlsavell
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
A sad poem indeed -- no one goes to war
and comes home unscathed -- I've often said
those officially listed as "Missing in Action"
are not the only ones truly lost in war. I
think this became especially true in the Vietnam
War when the enemy began using children just
often enough to insure soldiers never knew when
they were innocent kids playing or when they
were indeed warrior soldier children. Good luck
in the contest. love, jan
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2010
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A sad poem indeed -- no one goes to war
and comes home unscathed -- I've often said
those officially listed as "Missing in Action"
are not the only ones truly lost in war. I
think this became especially true in the Vietnam
War when the enemy began using children just
often enough to insure soldiers never knew when
they were innocent kids playing or when they
were indeed warrior soldier children. Good luck
in the contest. love, jan
Comment Written 29-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2010
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Rdfrdmom2, thank you so very much for stopping by to read and review my entry. Yes, no one comes home unscathed..it is quite devastating..again thank you very much...
Comment from words
Very, very well done!
You captured a very sad fact of war well ... what it does to our young men and woman who go and returned destroyed.
I especially liked:
Boy went to war
He marched with pride
He loved me so
though his heart's died
I have seen that look.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2010
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Very, very well done!
You captured a very sad fact of war well ... what it does to our young men and woman who go and returned destroyed.
I especially liked:
Boy went to war
He marched with pride
He loved me so
though his heart's died
I have seen that look.
Comment Written 29-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2010
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words, thank you so very much. I appreciate your time and your review.
Comment from Krugerrand
So terribly sad your poem, which of course was the contest. But still, it breaks my heart this type of sorrow.
Great flow, bang on rhyming scheme. Of course, absolutely no suggestions for something that's already perfect.
Best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2010
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So terribly sad your poem, which of course was the contest. But still, it breaks my heart this type of sorrow.
Great flow, bang on rhyming scheme. Of course, absolutely no suggestions for something that's already perfect.
Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 29-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2010
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Krugerrand, thank you so very much for stopping by to read and review my poem. Yes, it does break the heart.
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Author. Very good poem and truly sad. Mission accomplished and good luck in the contest. Bob
"He use to say"
(This is supposed to say "used to say" I believe.
"though his heart's died" (I believe this would sound better and better rhythm if you said "though his heart has died.)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2010
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Hi, Author. Very good poem and truly sad. Mission accomplished and good luck in the contest. Bob
"He use to say"
(This is supposed to say "used to say" I believe.
"though his heart's died" (I believe this would sound better and better rhythm if you said "though his heart has died.)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2010
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Mastery, thank you so very much for stopping by to read and review. I appreciate you very much..