Detour
Viewing comments for Chapter 29 "On Your Mark, Get Set..."Two very real women in not so real situation.
27 total reviews
Comment from BethShelby
I love your story. Your characters really come to life and make me glad I'm not on a road trip with Jame. I've met a few Janes and one was the mother of my ex-daughter-in-law, actually named Jane. She was every bit as bad as this one just in some different ways.
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2024
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I love your story. Your characters really come to life and make me glad I'm not on a road trip with Jame. I've met a few Janes and one was the mother of my ex-daughter-in-law, actually named Jane. She was every bit as bad as this one just in some different ways.
Comment Written 30-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2024
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Hahaha. Well, then you'll enjoy this one's come-uppance even more! Stay tuned. And thanks for keeping with us on this excursion. It's great fun having you along. xoxox
Comment from BethShelby
I love your story. Your characters really come to life and make me glad I'm not on a road trip with Jame. I've met a few Janes and one was the mother of my ex-daughter-in-law, actually named Jane. She was every bit as bad as this one just in some different ways.
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2024
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I love your story. Your characters really come to life and make me glad I'm not on a road trip with Jame. I've met a few Janes and one was the mother of my ex-daughter-in-law, actually named Jane. She was every bit as bad as this one just in some different ways.
Comment Written 30-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2024
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Ooops. This one was double-sent.
Comment from Carol Clark2
You all are spoiling Rebekah, and I'm sure she looks fabulous in that black dress. My daughter used 2 of those same music books for her lessons and recitals years ago. It's good Jane cannot read or recite her poetry around Rebekah. Love how you write her annoying drawl. Blessings. Carol
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2024
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You all are spoiling Rebekah, and I'm sure she looks fabulous in that black dress. My daughter used 2 of those same music books for her lessons and recitals years ago. It's good Jane cannot read or recite her poetry around Rebekah. Love how you write her annoying drawl. Blessings. Carol
Comment Written 29-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2024
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It's getting to ALL the reviewers. She's the one we all love to hate.
Does your daughter still sing, Carol?
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I honestly don't know if she's still singing. She, unfortunately, has distanced herself from her parents. I pray she will one day return. Sad story! Thanks for asking.
Comment from lyenochka
What a joy that Rebekah is shopping with her fairy godmother, Rachelle who also got some replacement attire. I'd imagine that you look gorgeous in green with your red hair. A fun post with a little reprieve from the crazy Jane.
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2024
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What a joy that Rebekah is shopping with her fairy godmother, Rachelle who also got some replacement attire. I'd imagine that you look gorgeous in green with your red hair. A fun post with a little reprieve from the crazy Jane.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2024
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Yes, that seems to be the common theme among the reviewers: GET RID OF JANE!! She's rubbing us ALL the wrong way. But, alas, she WILL be present at the FS International Convention in short order, so be prepared!!
Thanks for the excellent review. xoxox
Comment from Mrs. KT
With you every step of your shopping trip, Rachelle! One of my favorite things to do!
I smiled at the telling of Rebekah's sampling of "new" food from the food court, remembering the time our Japanese exchange student sampled M&M's for the first time. From there, she graduated to mint chocolate chip ice cream, and when she returned to Japan after her year's stay with us, well, she had gained at least twenty pounds!
And this paragraph resonated with me:
As I wait for the clerk to cash me out, I see a display labeled, "Estate Sale Treasures" and notice an exquisite, white-on-black cameo on a diamond-and-onyx choker.
How I love cameos... and you brought to life the description of this choker that I could certainly readily see it in my mind's eye.
We would certainly get into trouble if we went shopping together, Rachelle!
Much enjoyed!
Thank you for sharing!
fondly,
diane
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2024
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With you every step of your shopping trip, Rachelle! One of my favorite things to do!
I smiled at the telling of Rebekah's sampling of "new" food from the food court, remembering the time our Japanese exchange student sampled M&M's for the first time. From there, she graduated to mint chocolate chip ice cream, and when she returned to Japan after her year's stay with us, well, she had gained at least twenty pounds!
And this paragraph resonated with me:
As I wait for the clerk to cash me out, I see a display labeled, "Estate Sale Treasures" and notice an exquisite, white-on-black cameo on a diamond-and-onyx choker.
How I love cameos... and you brought to life the description of this choker that I could certainly readily see it in my mind's eye.
We would certainly get into trouble if we went shopping together, Rachelle!
Much enjoyed!
Thank you for sharing!
fondly,
diane
Comment Written 29-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2024
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Ohhhh, truer words were never spoken, Diane!! This is why G-d made us friends....who live in states nowhere near each other!!
I love this review. Thank you for always making me feel great about how this story is progressing. xoxox
Comment from patcelaw
This is very well written, and I enjoyed listening to it. It flows very well when it is read aloud. Your sentence structure your paragraph and your punctuation all are very good and it adds a great deal of strength to your story. Have a good day and may God bless you.
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2024
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This is very well written, and I enjoyed listening to it. It flows very well when it is read aloud. Your sentence structure your paragraph and your punctuation all are very good and it adds a great deal of strength to your story. Have a good day and may God bless you.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2024
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thank you very much; I appreciate your feedback. xo
Comment from GWHARGIS
Okay, first I love the way you describe Rebekah when she comes around in the jeans and snoopy shirt. I could see it. It was clear and the best view I've had do far of her. Jane, per usual, was as obnoxious as he'll. You have nailed her attitude, her vocal demand for attention. And she comes off being petty and jealous of Rebekah. I am loving how you are coming across as a mother figure to both Rebekah and Jane. But in different ways. I'm off to post my chapter. This was a phenomenal addition. Gretchen
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2024
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Okay, first I love the way you describe Rebekah when she comes around in the jeans and snoopy shirt. I could see it. It was clear and the best view I've had do far of her. Jane, per usual, was as obnoxious as he'll. You have nailed her attitude, her vocal demand for attention. And she comes off being petty and jealous of Rebekah. I am loving how you are coming across as a mother figure to both Rebekah and Jane. But in different ways. I'm off to post my chapter. This was a phenomenal addition. Gretchen
Comment Written 29-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2024
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Thanks for all this warm and wonderful encouragement here. I have a myriad of fabulous experiences every week and things I look forward to - lessons with my beloved students, making good dinner for Bobby - but they all pale in comparison to writing the next chapter of our novel. Definitely the stand-out delight. Ditto for working with you. xoxoxo
Comment from judiverse
Another great chapter! You do such a great job of blending in the humor, mostly from Jane and her speech patterns and poetry. Then you add the heart-warming story of Rebekah. I love the details of her changes of clothing and the music the narrator chooses for her. I wonder if Rebekah will ever want to go back to the farm. I'm glad you went for the green dress even though Jane likes it. With the combination of humor and feel-good vibes, this deserves a 6. judi
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2024
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Another great chapter! You do such a great job of blending in the humor, mostly from Jane and her speech patterns and poetry. Then you add the heart-warming story of Rebekah. I love the details of her changes of clothing and the music the narrator chooses for her. I wonder if Rebekah will ever want to go back to the farm. I'm glad you went for the green dress even though Jane likes it. With the combination of humor and feel-good vibes, this deserves a 6. judi
Comment Written 29-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2024
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You cannot know how I look forward to your reviews every week. I appreciate that you "get" what I'm trying to convey each time. Nothing but nothing is ever lost on you. Thank you for the six, too; so very appreciated. xoxox
Comment from LJbutterfly
I am amazed at your vivid imagination. I am also pleased you are able to skillfully describe your thoughts so your readers can envision it. A perfect example is Jane and her delivery of her ridiculous poem. I also enjoyed your description of Rebekah's reaction to the mall. I would love to be rid of Jane, but she will be with you through the convention. Ugg! A great chapter.
"But before she can respond, Jane joins us. "I didn't finish reading you my poemmmmmm!" she whines. (remove the quotation mark before the word 'But')
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2024
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I am amazed at your vivid imagination. I am also pleased you are able to skillfully describe your thoughts so your readers can envision it. A perfect example is Jane and her delivery of her ridiculous poem. I also enjoyed your description of Rebekah's reaction to the mall. I would love to be rid of Jane, but she will be with you through the convention. Ugg! A great chapter.
"But before she can respond, Jane joins us. "I didn't finish reading you my poemmmmmm!" she whines. (remove the quotation mark before the word 'But')
Comment Written 29-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2024
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Thank you very much for this!! And I appreciate that eagle-eye editing catch, too! I appreciate your having my back!! Xoxoxo
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I was so hoping Jane would get misplaced at the mall. I really like this story and can't wait to read more.
NOOOOOOOO!" Jane says. (Missing beginning quotation mark, "NOOOOOOOO!")
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2024
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I was so hoping Jane would get misplaced at the mall. I really like this story and can't wait to read more.
NOOOOOOOO!" Jane says. (Missing beginning quotation mark, "NOOOOOOOO!")
Comment Written 29-Sep-2024
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2024
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Ohhh! Great catch, you wonderful, eagle-eye reviewer, you!! Thank you very much for that. And for your nice review, as well. I so love having you along on this roadtrip! xoxox
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I am on it sort of. LOL The little fly on the wall. Tell Gretchen to quit trying to swat me. LOL