DUEL with the DEVIL
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "DUEL with the DEVIL - Chapter 6"The problem of creating a non-addictive painkiller
20 total reviews
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Oh dear, embarrassing, desperate, not a cool look at all! I think I was, actually, silently telling him to shut up. Sandi MacReady is not ready for the likes of Brian, no matter how bright he purports to be! This is great, Jim. Excruciating but great. And we're only just beginning. Dialogue is excellent and I'm enjoying the way you're setting up Brian here for that fall from grace, even though I'm going to be feeling sorry for him soon! Well done! Debbie
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2024
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Oh dear, embarrassing, desperate, not a cool look at all! I think I was, actually, silently telling him to shut up. Sandi MacReady is not ready for the likes of Brian, no matter how bright he purports to be! This is great, Jim. Excruciating but great. And we're only just beginning. Dialogue is excellent and I'm enjoying the way you're setting up Brian here for that fall from grace, even though I'm going to be feeling sorry for him soon! Well done! Debbie
Comment Written 22-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2024
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You seem to have Brian pegged just right, Debbie. I like that word, excruciating. Let's hope he's learned from this experience, but your gut is telling you that may not be the case at all. Some people have to hit rock bottom before they can find their way up again, and most people can't do it alone.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Yep, Brian blew it but even though Sandi pointed it out she did it in a nice way, and sort of understood. I am curious what's going to happen next. I know it'll be interesting. I am really enjoying this story.
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2024
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Yep, Brian blew it but even though Sandi pointed it out she did it in a nice way, and sort of understood. I am curious what's going to happen next. I know it'll be interesting. I am really enjoying this story.
Comment Written 22-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2024
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We're heading toward a turning point which will drastically influence the direction of his life. But as we all know, the road to success and happiness is full of wrong turns, dead ends, and perilous conditions. Will Brian be able to navigate this road and eventually make it safely to the end? Let's hope so.
Comment from Sallyo
No edits to suggest - you either have a good eye or else you read over things properly before posting them. The story is still developing nicely and at least Brian knows when he's beaten- for now, anyway.
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2024
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No edits to suggest - you either have a good eye or else you read over things properly before posting them. The story is still developing nicely and at least Brian knows when he's beaten- for now, anyway.
Comment Written 22-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2024
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Thanks, Sally. I do use an online grammar checker to help find errors, and it always finds a few. Very handy tool.
Yeah, Brian is down, but not out yet. We'll see if he can resurrect things.
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Like stars in the sky, why do guys set their minds on that one celestial nova that lights up the sky like 'that girl' lights up their mind twenty-four seven forever. If set all alone, off to the side... nevermind. They were and are simply special remembrances.
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2024
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Like stars in the sky, why do guys set their minds on that one celestial nova that lights up the sky like 'that girl' lights up their mind twenty-four seven forever. If set all alone, off to the side... nevermind. They were and are simply special remembrances.
Comment Written 22-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2024
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You're right. I still think about a few memorable times from my youth from time to time.
Comment from Wendy G
Yes, he is showing that he is still young and still infatuated. Your writing is very appropriate for his age and stage, and who of us didn't make awkward mistakes. I am enjoying your story!
Wendy
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2024
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Yes, he is showing that he is still young and still infatuated. Your writing is very appropriate for his age and stage, and who of us didn't make awkward mistakes. I am enjoying your story!
Wendy
Comment Written 22-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2024
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Thanks, Wendy. If I ever try to publish this (doubtful) I may classify it as YA or NA (New Adult), although I'll wait and see when Part 2 is complete if I still feel that way.
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Yeah, idiot's right. And fleeing only proved it. What a low point.
Well written, though.
Too bad that Brian might also have lost a chance to be friends with Carlyn.
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2024
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Yeah, idiot's right. And fleeing only proved it. What a low point.
Well written, though.
Too bad that Brian might also have lost a chance to be friends with Carlyn.
Best wishes.
Comment Written 22-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2024
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Thanks, Wayne. It gets even lower. You're right, though. His infatuation with Sandi is cutting him off from other people, and no good is likely to come of it.
Comment from royowen
He's really screwing it up isn't he? And he still won't put his cue up on the rack, I think to cool it would be the way to go, so I think he really is OCD, being on the spectrum is not an unusual thing. I hope the boy gets his act together, beautifully written Jim, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2024
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He's really screwing it up isn't he? And he still won't put his cue up on the rack, I think to cool it would be the way to go, so I think he really is OCD, being on the spectrum is not an unusual thing. I hope the boy gets his act together, beautifully written Jim, blessings Roy
Comment Written 22-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2024
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Thanks, Roy. Yes, he is definitely screwing it up and should cool it. He should have listened to Fran and waited a few years, but I guess the impatience of youth didn't allow that. Can he still make it work? We only know that he'll keep trying.
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He?s a silly boy, girls always fancied boys who were cool, and boys with girlfriends
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This plan backfired and only made Sandi dislike poor Brian who is competing with an older and more impressive looking Josh! I enjoyed your fun story Jim and you like the sound of Sandi in her cut off shorts don't you? Ha ha ha, love Dolly x x x
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2024
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This plan backfired and only made Sandi dislike poor Brian who is competing with an older and more impressive looking Josh! I enjoyed your fun story Jim and you like the sound of Sandi in her cut off shorts don't you? Ha ha ha, love Dolly x x x
Comment Written 22-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2024
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Yeah, crappy plan. It's funny--I wrote that description of Sandi in her cutoffs and then found that picture which matched almost perfectly except I hadn't written that she was wearing a red flannel shirt, so I just changed the text to match that.
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Ha ha ha, you made me smile Jim, all coordinated now x x x
Comment from lyenochka
Well, that seems benign enough. At least, Brian didn't get beat up and Sandi realized he was trying to get to her by putting down her boyfriend Good that she called him on it!
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reply by the author on 22-Jun-2024
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Well, that seems benign enough. At least, Brian didn't get beat up and Sandi realized he was trying to get to her by putting down her boyfriend Good that she called him on it!
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Comment Written 22-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2024
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Do you think there's any hope for him to pull this one out of the fire? So far, the damage is perhaps minimal. Let's see if he can get his act together and salvage it.
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I have faith in the author to pull him out. Brian will use his head and mature. Plus, Brian could be read as "Brain" to a dyslexic. 😂
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That''s a good one! That never occurred to me.
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I was sure that was your intention! 😂
Comment from tfawcus
Oh dear! He does have it bad, doesn't he! Although he has been behaving like a complete dork, Sandi hasn't dismissed him out of hand. Maybe he'll have a chance to redeem himself.
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reply by the author on 22-Jun-2024
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Oh dear! He does have it bad, doesn't he! Although he has been behaving like a complete dork, Sandi hasn't dismissed him out of hand. Maybe he'll have a chance to redeem himself.
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Comment Written 21-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2024
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Maybe there's still hope for him, but we'll soon see if he's learned his lesson and either cools it for a while or at least mellows out his approach.