DUEL with the DEVIL
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "DUEL with the DEVIL - Chapter 2"The problem of creating a non-addictive painkiller
20 total reviews
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I'm glad he has Fran and I like this story. You're doing a great job writing it.
"Look, Brian," she said in a softer tone. I know it's been tough. ("I know it's been tough.)
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2024
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I'm glad he has Fran and I like this story. You're doing a great job writing it.
"Look, Brian," she said in a softer tone. I know it's been tough. ("I know it's been tough.)
Comment Written 10-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2024
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Thanks, Barbara, and nice catch with the missing speech mark.
Comment from Nicole Schmidt
This is strong overall does a good job of grabbing the reader's attention and holding it all the way through from start to finish. Best of luck overall with your work from here.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2024
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This is strong overall does a good job of grabbing the reader's attention and holding it all the way through from start to finish. Best of luck overall with your work from here.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2024
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Thanks, Nicole. I appreciate your good review.
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Ho-hum. Yawn. I await for more. Is there a golf game or invention near at hand. A rags to riches story perhaps. I now. I'll have to wait and see, but please hurry it along. :-)
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2024
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Ho-hum. Yawn. I await for more. Is there a golf game or invention near at hand. A rags to riches story perhaps. I now. I'll have to wait and see, but please hurry it along. :-)
Comment Written 10-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2024
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I've been waiting for a ho-hum from you. Yes, there will be an invention eventually (a new drug), but it will be a while until we get there. I've got to show what leads up to its invention, and that's a long story. We'll get there eventually, but I can't hurry it along, or you won't have the proper context or understand his character unless I take time to build it. This is a novel, remember.
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😇
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
I love the way your story is going, Jim! It's got huge potential and is so relatable to what we see of the young, especially when struggles occur. I remember 25 years ago, when my son was at school, hearing about teenage boys locked in their room, glued to their devices and eating junk food. And (sorry going off on a tangent) Japanese suicidal men of 30 doing the same with no ambition to pursue in the wider world.
We know Brian is going to relapse because he's got his formative, adolescent years ahead and, if anything's going to knock him off kilter, his teenage hormones will. Already we see that stroppy, idle personality developing.
As ever, faultless prose and excellent dialogue, building character and plot. I'm into this! Well done! Debbie
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2024
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I love the way your story is going, Jim! It's got huge potential and is so relatable to what we see of the young, especially when struggles occur. I remember 25 years ago, when my son was at school, hearing about teenage boys locked in their room, glued to their devices and eating junk food. And (sorry going off on a tangent) Japanese suicidal men of 30 doing the same with no ambition to pursue in the wider world.
We know Brian is going to relapse because he's got his formative, adolescent years ahead and, if anything's going to knock him off kilter, his teenage hormones will. Already we see that stroppy, idle personality developing.
As ever, faultless prose and excellent dialogue, building character and plot. I'm into this! Well done! Debbie
Comment Written 10-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2024
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Thank you so much, Debbie. I always appreciate your wonderful and analytical reviews that show you really analyze the story. The 6 stars are very much appreciated too.
That tendency towards junk food and device time seems to be getting even worse these days, as kids don't seem to want to go out and play anymore. These can become unfortunate habits that can take over your life if there are no checks on it.
Comment from Wayne Fowler
All righty then. I'm a bit surprised Brian caved to the demands so easily, though. Personally, I think I would have fought most of Fran's demands. Maybe if Brian had a more obvious love, affection, and respect for his older sister before the loss of his parents?
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2024
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All righty then. I'm a bit surprised Brian caved to the demands so easily, though. Personally, I think I would have fought most of Fran's demands. Maybe if Brian had a more obvious love, affection, and respect for his older sister before the loss of his parents?
Best wishes.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2024
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Well, he was pretty belligerent at first, but I guess he know's his sister well enough to know she wouldn't let him off the hook, and he'd better do what she says.
Comment from jmdg1954
Good chapter, Jim. Fran starts laying the hammer down on Brian who has started to become a pudgy recluse. Now seeing the positives from exercising we'll have to wait to read what you have in store for this young whipper-snapper.
Fran be seems to be a mature level headed 18 yr old taking on this massive responsibility.
Excellent,
Cheers,
John
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2024
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Good chapter, Jim. Fran starts laying the hammer down on Brian who has started to become a pudgy recluse. Now seeing the positives from exercising we'll have to wait to read what you have in store for this young whipper-snapper.
Fran be seems to be a mature level headed 18 yr old taking on this massive responsibility.
Excellent,
Cheers,
John
Comment Written 10-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2024
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Thanks, John. What I have in store for him will not always be pleasant (as you could probably tell from the prologue), and he will require his level-headed sister to keep him in line. She's a good influence on him.
Comment from Pamusart
Hi, Jim
You are certainly developing your characters well. I could feel how the little boy felt. He made us feel a little something about his sister. Sounds like she's got everything together. They're just running a little low on money.
This is a charming coming of age story. It makes me think of when my brother was 12. Of course, he was a real brat egging his sisters on. He had six sisters before he finally got a brother and then anothrr brother.
I enjoyed your story and look forward to more
Good job. Thank you for
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reply by the author on 10-Jun-2024
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Hi, Jim
You are certainly developing your characters well. I could feel how the little boy felt. He made us feel a little something about his sister. Sounds like she's got everything together. They're just running a little low on money.
This is a charming coming of age story. It makes me think of when my brother was 12. Of course, he was a real brat egging his sisters on. He had six sisters before he finally got a brother and then anothrr brother.
I enjoyed your story and look forward to more
Good job. Thank you for
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2024
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Thank you very much for your great review. My son, too, was a bratty kid who loved to tease his older sister and annoyed the heck out of her, but they've always been close despite that. They have a great relationship today as adults.
Comment from Wendy G
Another fine chapter. I enjoy your smooth writing style and your insightful dialogues between the characters very much. It will be a hard road for them, and I am interested to see the challenges they will face and overcome. Well done, as always.
Wendy
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2024
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Another fine chapter. I enjoy your smooth writing style and your insightful dialogues between the characters very much. It will be a hard road for them, and I am interested to see the challenges they will face and overcome. Well done, as always.
Wendy
Comment Written 10-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2024
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Thanks very much, Wendy. Challenges: there will certainly be plenty of those. Brian's life will be filled with ups and downs.
Comment from royowen
Oh yes, from my sporting days and more recent times in the workout in the gym, it's positively addictive, and hard to resist, but it's a great way to live, and to be a fit person. A great post Jim, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2024
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Oh yes, from my sporting days and more recent times in the workout in the gym, it's positively addictive, and hard to resist, but it's a great way to live, and to be a fit person. A great post Jim, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 10-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2024
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Thanks, Roy. A habit let's hope he keeps up, unlike the binge-eating and screen time.
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That?s right
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
I haven't heard the word (twerp) since I was at school and I loved seeing that word here in your story Jim. I think grief can make us eat and be lazy but there comes a time when we need to move on and think about our health. It must be hard for an 18 year old to be responsible for an 12 year old and they will both grow up fast in this situation. A fine chapter Jim, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
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reply by the author on 10-Jun-2024
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I haven't heard the word (twerp) since I was at school and I loved seeing that word here in your story Jim. I think grief can make us eat and be lazy but there comes a time when we need to move on and think about our health. It must be hard for an 18 year old to be responsible for an 12 year old and they will both grow up fast in this situation. A fine chapter Jim, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
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Comment Written 09-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2024
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Thanks very much, Dolly. The tendency toward self-indulgence will become a pattern in Brian's life--one he will have to learn to overcome. Hopefully, with big sister by his side, he will be able to.