Heart Crafted Poems - 2022
Viewing comments for Chapter 34 "Sending a Prayer"Musings of an old man - 2022
26 total reviews
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
' Sending A Prayer ', is an exceptionally well-written and deftly descriptive piece. Penned with craft and skill. This talented poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review. I look forward to seeing your next post.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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' Sending A Prayer ', is an exceptionally well-written and deftly descriptive piece. Penned with craft and skill. This talented poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review. I look forward to seeing your next post.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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Thank you for reading and commenting on this poem. I am grateful.
You're very welcome.
Comment from Gloria ....
Excellent villanelle, J. The imagery puts us right in the scene with the gulls and the waves, and the introspection resulting from that.
I enjoy this form written with precise metre and otherwise as well.
Many thanks for sharing you talent.
Gloria
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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Excellent villanelle, J. The imagery puts us right in the scene with the gulls and the waves, and the introspection resulting from that.
I enjoy this form written with precise metre and otherwise as well.
Many thanks for sharing you talent.
Gloria
Comment Written 18-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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Gloria, Thank you for reading and commenting on this poem. I am grateful, even though it is not presented in conventional meter.
Comment from dragonpoet
This is a well done villanelle about bring introspective by the ocean. It reminds us creation is a gift as is life.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joan
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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This is a well done villanelle about bring introspective by the ocean. It reminds us creation is a gift as is life.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joan
Comment Written 18-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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Joan, Gloria, Thank you for reading and commenting on this poem. I am grateful, even though it is not presented in conventional meter.
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Don't mention it, JLR.
Joan
Comment from karenina
Your sentiment takes the day here. Surely, you've met the rhyme scheme, but it has not driven your work... read it through, then realizing the weight of the words went back and read it slowly... There are some amazingly potent lines here:
"When I see a fellow who seemed sobersides,
he sitting head down in my foreground..."
How often do these souls go unacknowledged?
Too often.
A poetic nudge to us all to..."take shorter strides."
Karenina
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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Your sentiment takes the day here. Surely, you've met the rhyme scheme, but it has not driven your work... read it through, then realizing the weight of the words went back and read it slowly... There are some amazingly potent lines here:
"When I see a fellow who seemed sobersides,
he sitting head down in my foreground..."
How often do these souls go unacknowledged?
Too often.
A poetic nudge to us all to..."take shorter strides."
Karenina
Comment Written 18-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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Karenina, Thank you for reading and commenting on this poem. I am grateful, even though it is not presented in conventional meter.
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Sometimes our poetic voice demands to march to a different beat. I laughingly refer to this as "Neil Diamond Syndrome.." The poet in me always heard one of his greatest hits as: "Iamb, I said!".
Smile...
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Smiling back with GUSTO👍👍
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Ah, my day is already a success!
Comment from Judy Lawless
This is a beautiful poem, that ends with a prayer, JLR. I love the rhythm and rhyming pattern. You've painted a vivid picture with your words. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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This is a beautiful poem, that ends with a prayer, JLR. I love the rhythm and rhyming pattern. You've painted a vivid picture with your words. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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Judy, Gloria, Thank you for reading and commenting on this poem. I am grateful, even though it is not presented in conventional meter.
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You're welcome, JLR
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Your spasmodic syllable count upset the flow somewhat here, and lack of metre spoiled the ride for me I'm afraid. The Villanelle is not an easy form to write and the basic rules need to be adhered to in order to make a poem shine. Having said all that, I loved the sentiments and wish you well in your writing, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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Your spasmodic syllable count upset the flow somewhat here, and lack of metre spoiled the ride for me I'm afraid. The Villanelle is not an easy form to write and the basic rules need to be adhered to in order to make a poem shine. Having said all that, I loved the sentiments and wish you well in your writing, love Dolly x
Comment Written 18-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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My friend, Dolly, Thank you for reading and commenting on this poem. I am grateful, even though it is not presented in conventional meter.
Comment from Janetsue
I loved walking along the seashore in any weather which I used to do many years ago when I lived nearby. This is an excellent villanelle with good imagery and a strong repeated line. I enjoyed reading it very much.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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I loved walking along the seashore in any weather which I used to do many years ago when I lived nearby. This is an excellent villanelle with good imagery and a strong repeated line. I enjoyed reading it very much.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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Spangle,, Thank you for reading and commenting on this poem. I am grateful, even though it is not presented in conventional meter.
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I think villanelles are difficult to write and I have only ever done one or two of them.
Comment from royowen
Well done, branching out and writing the villanelle, you've ventured before I did in comparative terms, but it has certainly enriched my poetic journey, and I can see it's enriching mine, this is beautifully written my friend Jim, beautifully done, everything in order, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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Well done, branching out and writing the villanelle, you've ventured before I did in comparative terms, but it has certainly enriched my poetic journey, and I can see it's enriching mine, this is beautifully written my friend Jim, beautifully done, everything in order, blessings Roy
Comment Written 18-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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Hello my friend, Thank you for reading and commenting on this poem. I am grateful, even though it is not presented in conventional meter.
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Well done
Comment from jessizero
Sometimes we have to take shorter strides to slow down and admire the world around us. You taught me a new word, too! Thanks for sharing this poem here.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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Sometimes we have to take shorter strides to slow down and admire the world around us. You taught me a new word, too! Thanks for sharing this poem here.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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Jess, Thank you for reading and commenting on this poem. I am grateful, even though it is not presented in conventional meter.
Comment from lyenochka
What a compassionate poem! Bless you for noticing the man who was "sobersides" and praying for him. You did a great job with the villanelle as I noted the different contexts in which you used your refrains and each time it was a different reason for "taking shorter strides."
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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What a compassionate poem! Bless you for noticing the man who was "sobersides" and praying for him. You did a great job with the villanelle as I noted the different contexts in which you used your refrains and each time it was a different reason for "taking shorter strides."
Comment Written 18-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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lyenochka, Thank you for reading and commenting on this poem. I am grateful, even though it is not presented in a conventional meter.