Heart Crafted Poems - 2022
Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "Stormy Seas"Musings of an old man - 2022
26 total reviews
Comment from Gloria ....
First off, J, good to see you back and posting again. I think you have set out for yourself a most difficult challenge to write a sonnet in iambic metre with 11 syllable lines meaning each line would need to have a feminine ending (unstressed syllable) and then rhyme as well. In addition to writing a smooth flow into the next line.
I have never tried such a difficult challenge, although I might try one now.
That said, many of your lines are not written in iambic metre, but the poem itself is a delightful read.
So keep on writing, and many thanks for sharing. :))
Gloria
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2022
  |
First off, J, good to see you back and posting again. I think you have set out for yourself a most difficult challenge to write a sonnet in iambic metre with 11 syllable lines meaning each line would need to have a feminine ending (unstressed syllable) and then rhyme as well. In addition to writing a smooth flow into the next line.
I have never tried such a difficult challenge, although I might try one now.
That said, many of your lines are not written in iambic metre, but the poem itself is a delightful read.
So keep on writing, and many thanks for sharing. :))
Gloria
Comment Written 08-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2022
-
Hi Gloria, yes I feel so vain submitting such work that would make the great masters - whose pens inked out such great sonnets -roll overin there graves. But, I do so love being back!
-
Hi GLoria, glad to be back but ...it pains me mightly that the great sonnets are so elusive to my pen.
-
Ah yes, but your free verse is sublime, a form which can be a challenge to classical poets. You are taking Jim's metre class this spring, yes?
Comment from victor 66
There are not many things that I wouldn't do for money. But being on a ship during a storm, I would require a huge amount of money. Your sonnet literally sent shivers down my spine. I think your poem is very nicely done. Best wishes.
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2022
|
There are not many things that I wouldn't do for money. But being on a ship during a storm, I would require a huge amount of money. Your sonnet literally sent shivers down my spine. I think your poem is very nicely done. Best wishes.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2022
-
Thank you so much!
-
I tend to agree wit you on this.
-
You bet.
Comment from Gee
Very nice Mr. JLR. It good to see a different sonnet than the English sonnet. I think you did well. Hopefully it will encourage others to explore different sonnet styles.
Thanks for sharing your poem with us.
Gee
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2022
|
Very nice Mr. JLR. It good to see a different sonnet than the English sonnet. I think you did well. Hopefully it will encourage others to explore different sonnet styles.
Thanks for sharing your poem with us.
Gee
Comment Written 08-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2022
-
Thanks, Gee, Sonnets are far away from my wheelhouse of poetic styles. So I attempt to do one every so often.
Comment from Terry Broxson
I was not familiar with the distinction of what an Italian sonnet was about, thank you for the education. I do think this is a well-done poem. The imagery of the shipwreck in the first stanza is excellent as is the next stanza about survival. Good job.
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2022
|
I was not familiar with the distinction of what an Italian sonnet was about, thank you for the education. I do think this is a well-done poem. The imagery of the shipwreck in the first stanza is excellent as is the next stanza about survival. Good job.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2022
-
Thank you much Terry! Sonnets are far away from my wheelhouse of poetic styles. So I attempt to do one every so often
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Really good artwork, Jim.
-A well written sonnet with a good topic.
-The imagery creates a vivid word picture of these events.
-The first verse describes the fierce winds and
the situation of this sailor fearing for his life.
-The second verse shows the calming of the winds,
"the break of dawn, and his thanks to God
for helping him survive.
-Well done.
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2022
|
-Really good artwork, Jim.
-A well written sonnet with a good topic.
-The imagery creates a vivid word picture of these events.
-The first verse describes the fierce winds and
the situation of this sailor fearing for his life.
-The second verse shows the calming of the winds,
"the break of dawn, and his thanks to God
for helping him survive.
-Well done.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2022
-
Thank you for giving this a read! Imperfections have been worked on this AM Practice, practice, practice ...
-
You are welcome, and also right about practice!! You are taking on some big challenges.
Comment from Anne Johnston
Well done on this sonnet. How tragic when a ship is destroyed in a storm, but thankful for the miracle that this man survived. God must have had something more He wanted him to do.
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2022
|
Well done on this sonnet. How tragic when a ship is destroyed in a storm, but thankful for the miracle that this man survived. God must have had something more He wanted him to do.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2022
-
Thank you
-
You are welcome
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
I loved the content and your well chosen words here but the iambic pentameter you mention is completely missing from your sonnet. Your syllable count is uneven in places, but I enjoyed your end rhymes. Love Dolly x
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2022
|
I loved the content and your well chosen words here but the iambic pentameter you mention is completely missing from your sonnet. Your syllable count is uneven in places, but I enjoyed your end rhymes. Love Dolly x
Comment Written 07-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2022
-
Ugghhhh 😒😒😒 back to the drawing board
Comment from lyenochka
Thanks for the great message of your Italian sonnet, which makes us see how it is always by the grace of God that we survive all the storms of life. The rhymes were nicely done even with challenging words like flump-jump-thump. Does the Italian sonnet not need to be in iambic meter?
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2022
|
Thanks for the great message of your Italian sonnet, which makes us see how it is always by the grace of God that we survive all the storms of life. The rhymes were nicely done even with challenging words like flump-jump-thump. Does the Italian sonnet not need to be in iambic meter?
Comment Written 07-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2022
-
Ugghhhh 😒😒😒 back to the drawing board
Comment from royowen
How interesting, I've never heard of this variant on the sonnet forms, of course we get set what is right or wrong in our minds, that's why I've written some variations on the forms I've invented, the Petrarchan sonnet is also Italian, I remember it was you who was happy to stay on the forms you kicked off on the site, beautifully written, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2022
|
How interesting, I've never heard of this variant on the sonnet forms, of course we get set what is right or wrong in our minds, that's why I've written some variations on the forms I've invented, the Petrarchan sonnet is also Italian, I remember it was you who was happy to stay on the forms you kicked off on the site, beautifully written, blessings Roy
Comment Written 07-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2022
-
missed the mark on this one --- back to work on iamic pentameter
-
Sorry Jim
-
No Problem....at all
I have made significant modifications this AM ( overhere🤗)
-
Well done Jim
Comment from K.L. Rockquemore
We'll done! I found your writing light and beautiful. The sentiment was heart felt. I hope you continue to write your submit your work. I will recommend you to my friends and family.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2022
|
We'll done! I found your writing light and beautiful. The sentiment was heart felt. I hope you continue to write your submit your work. I will recommend you to my friends and family.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2022
-
Thank you!