As Memories Fade
A Rhyming Poem17 total reviews
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Rhyming Poem
As Memories Fade
by kahpot
Great entry for the Rhyming Poetry Contest. I am afraid of getting Alzheimer. It's a horrible disease. You did well. Good luck.
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2021
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Rhyming Poem
As Memories Fade
by kahpot
Great entry for the Rhyming Poetry Contest. I am afraid of getting Alzheimer. It's a horrible disease. You did well. Good luck.
Comment Written 30-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2021
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Thank you very much, yes it would be scary I think-though mainly for family, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from royowen
I thought this poem was dedicated to the onset of Alzheimer's, but I am grateful it's not you, although your dear friend must be dreading it. Beautifully and sympathetically written, an excellent work, great language, and excellent literature illustrations of this nasty malady. Well done, blessings Roy
Typo : stranger(')s gaze
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2021
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I thought this poem was dedicated to the onset of Alzheimer's, but I am grateful it's not you, although your dear friend must be dreading it. Beautifully and sympathetically written, an excellent work, great language, and excellent literature illustrations of this nasty malady. Well done, blessings Roy
Typo : stranger(')s gaze
Comment Written 30-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2021
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Thank you very much, corrections made, (many thanks) it was hard to hear their story, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
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Bless you
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Point taken re Alzheimer's--that explains all--Heartrending situation to contemplate--poignant and powerful imagery of continual confusion--graceful flow and rhyme
typos: strangers=>strangers' gaze
Days=>Day's parade
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2021
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Point taken re Alzheimer's--that explains all--Heartrending situation to contemplate--poignant and powerful imagery of continual confusion--graceful flow and rhyme
typos: strangers=>strangers' gaze
Days=>Day's parade
Comment Written 30-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2021
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Thank you, corrections made (many thanks) I like that word "typos" instead of ( I don't know any better-yet) as always very much appreciated****kahpot
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I find "typos" to be the most tactful word, even in cases where error is involved (i.e. in other people's work!)
Comment from lyenochka
Wow! This is such a stunning way to bring us into the mind of someone whose memories are gone. And the despair of the loved ones who can't connect with him/her anymore. Great use of internal rhymes, too. Hope you do well in the contest!
I have learned that in Aussie r-less pronunciation "abort" and "thought" rhyme. That's fine. You might get comments from American readers. Lol.
One apostrophe suggestion:
I spend my days in strangers gaze (strangers')
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2021
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Wow! This is such a stunning way to bring us into the mind of someone whose memories are gone. And the despair of the loved ones who can't connect with him/her anymore. Great use of internal rhymes, too. Hope you do well in the contest!
I have learned that in Aussie r-less pronunciation "abort" and "thought" rhyme. That's fine. You might get comments from American readers. Lol.
One apostrophe suggestion:
I spend my days in strangers gaze (strangers')
Comment Written 30-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2021
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Thank you very much, correction made, I am still pondering the U.S.A. and AUS. difference, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
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I wouldn't worry about it. I learned from reading Roy's and Tony's poetry that some words rhyme in Aussie English like "dawn" and "morn." 😊
Comment from Seshadri_Sreenivasan
Memories fade quickly sometimes before we can figure out how and why. With the passage of time, memories will start adjusting to new realities. And words smudge together and memories fade. You have written a brilliant rhyming poem. Poignant. Good luck!
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2021
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Memories fade quickly sometimes before we can figure out how and why. With the passage of time, memories will start adjusting to new realities. And words smudge together and memories fade. You have written a brilliant rhyming poem. Poignant. Good luck!
Comment Written 30-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2021
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Thank you very much for your very encouraging review and comments, very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from papa55mike
It must be horrible to watch your thoughts escape like birds fleeing to the sky. That's a frightening disease. What a wonderfully written poem.
Good luck in the contest!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
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reply by the author on 30-Jun-2021
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It must be horrible to watch your thoughts escape like birds fleeing to the sky. That's a frightening disease. What a wonderfully written poem.
Good luck in the contest!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 30-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2021
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Thank you for your wonderful comments and review, very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A poignant write and I enjoyed the sentiment here, great rhymes and flow too.
To help with meter, I would suggest this for the penultimate line:
"yesterday holds (future's) thought"
Love Dolly x
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reply by the author on 30-Jun-2021
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A poignant write and I enjoyed the sentiment here, great rhymes and flow too.
To help with meter, I would suggest this for the penultimate line:
"yesterday holds (future's) thought"
Love Dolly x
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 30-Jun-2021
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2021
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Thank you very much, your suggestion reads much better, may I ask -as this only 7 syllables does this affect meter? as always very much appreciated****kahpot
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you could say:
and yesterday holds (future?s) thought
you have eight syllables then.
Love Dolly x
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you could say:
and yesterday holds (future?s) thought
you have eight syllables then.
Love Dolly x