After The Picnic
A boy remembers summer116 total reviews
Comment from Zenbud
How endearing a verse of rememberance. It reminds me of summers in Missouri when fireflys were ripe for the picking! I think I said this to someone before . . . very fine writing and with a quality of sighs.
Zen
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How endearing a verse of rememberance. It reminds me of summers in Missouri when fireflys were ripe for the picking! I think I said this to someone before . . . very fine writing and with a quality of sighs.
Zen
Comment Written 26-Apr-2005
Comment from David J Crouch
Memories are made of this! How wonderful it is to escape for a while into our past and recapture vividly those sultry summer days when all seemed right with the world. The poet has captured the imagination of those who like me love to read verse which expresses the heart of the writer.
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Memories are made of this! How wonderful it is to escape for a while into our past and recapture vividly those sultry summer days when all seemed right with the world. The poet has captured the imagination of those who like me love to read verse which expresses the heart of the writer.
Comment Written 26-Apr-2005
Comment from Wendyanne
This is alovely poem reminiscing about a long ago summer. The imagery is perfect and I can almost hear those frogs croaking. Good luck in the contest, a well deserved entry.
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This is alovely poem reminiscing about a long ago summer. The imagery is perfect and I can almost hear those frogs croaking. Good luck in the contest, a well deserved entry.
Comment Written 26-Apr-2005
Comment from ROCHELLE MOORE
once again you have managed to portray a wonderful story within the lines of your verse...you made me laugh, you showed the an inner picture of the scene and i thoroughly enjoyed reading all of this poem.
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once again you have managed to portray a wonderful story within the lines of your verse...you made me laugh, you showed the an inner picture of the scene and i thoroughly enjoyed reading all of this poem.
Comment Written 26-Apr-2005
Comment from Sua Sponte
I like the memories this evoked.
I felt like I was reading a journal instead of a poem. Perhaps that is the way you meant it.
It was funny and it felt like home.
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I like the memories this evoked.
I felt like I was reading a journal instead of a poem. Perhaps that is the way you meant it.
It was funny and it felt like home.
Comment Written 26-Apr-2005
Comment from scaron
I love the reminiscing qualities of this, and how you pull us through the story. I think it needs a bit of work with flow though...It seemed just as it would start going smoothly the prose-like element of this got in the way. Good poem.
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I love the reminiscing qualities of this, and how you pull us through the story. I think it needs a bit of work with flow though...It seemed just as it would start going smoothly the prose-like element of this got in the way. Good poem.
Comment Written 26-Apr-2005
Comment from wintersknights
I like this trip back in the past
your descriptions of the scenes and people
float pass the mind with each verse and word.
It was a very excellent pleasure to read.
thank you for this poem.
wk
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I like this trip back in the past
your descriptions of the scenes and people
float pass the mind with each verse and word.
It was a very excellent pleasure to read.
thank you for this poem.
wk
Comment Written 25-Apr-2005
Comment from Mrs Jones
The boy's verse is lovely with wonderful images of childhood summers. I can find no fault with the verse, and the line breaks are good. But, I am docking a star as the boy needs to get on with the next chapter and not think short poetic verse will suffice. Lazzzeee!!!
Very well done
Rose
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The boy's verse is lovely with wonderful images of childhood summers. I can find no fault with the verse, and the line breaks are good. But, I am docking a star as the boy needs to get on with the next chapter and not think short poetic verse will suffice. Lazzzeee!!!
Very well done
Rose
Comment Written 25-Apr-2005
Comment from Tallguy
Bob, this took me back to a hot, June day in Quincy Mass when I sat with friends on a porch with the fireflies dodging around and the kids running everywhere. You have it exactly and I wish I had one tenth of your talent to tell it like this.
an excellent piece of work my friend, keep it up.
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Bob, this took me back to a hot, June day in Quincy Mass when I sat with friends on a porch with the fireflies dodging around and the kids running everywhere. You have it exactly and I wish I had one tenth of your talent to tell it like this.
an excellent piece of work my friend, keep it up.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2005
Comment from Storyweaver
Hi Bob,
what a great felling this little memory bring to the reader. The atmosphere set is one easily felt and seen. I enjoyed this one very much!
Good luck, my friend!
Weaver.
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Hi Bob,
what a great felling this little memory bring to the reader. The atmosphere set is one easily felt and seen. I enjoyed this one very much!
Good luck, my friend!
Weaver.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2005