Thanks For Playing
A game show with those crazy nuts you love to hate34 total reviews
Comment from Wabigoon
Earl--
Think you could have strayed even further out of your comfort zone. This is well done but, for me, lacks...one biting remark from some one of your contestants or Blink that puts it "above" the (probably our) comfort zone for sure. Not sure what that might be. Trump is too much of a hack. Yesterday we received one more "He (Biden) is going to take away your guns" mailing. How many times have we heard that one before and still it sounds like a war zone outside, automatic weapons all over the place. I think the man could be unelected for lack of originality as much as anything. Yeah, sure, trot out "law and order" when you're accused for the umpteenth time of rape. That one's old too. Throw 'em all out as hacks.
Best
Wabigoon/Jeff
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2020
  |
Earl--
Think you could have strayed even further out of your comfort zone. This is well done but, for me, lacks...one biting remark from some one of your contestants or Blink that puts it "above" the (probably our) comfort zone for sure. Not sure what that might be. Trump is too much of a hack. Yesterday we received one more "He (Biden) is going to take away your guns" mailing. How many times have we heard that one before and still it sounds like a war zone outside, automatic weapons all over the place. I think the man could be unelected for lack of originality as much as anything. Yeah, sure, trot out "law and order" when you're accused for the umpteenth time of rape. That one's old too. Throw 'em all out as hacks.
Best
Wabigoon/Jeff
Comment Written 19-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2020
-
Thank you Wabigon/Jeff. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my poem.
Comment from CrystieCookie999
Funny political satire. Three dictators who hopefully everyone has heard of, being interviewed on a game show or talk show panel really, and how funny the Rice-A-Roni comes up, like it used to often in the 1970s. I thought the faux German accent was pretty good. There is one part where it sounds like Adolph lost it, though:
He's an amateur. People claim he's killed 200,000 with this virus, I could do that number in my sleep.
Maybe change 'with' to 'mit' (which means with in German) and maybe change 'my' to 'mein' before the word 'sleep'.
There are a few punctuation things that might merit a second look. In this paragraph:
He hasn't invaded anybody, all his political enemies are still talking, and there's a good chance he'll be voted out in November, he's just not in our league.
I would try:
He hasn't invaded anybody! All his political enemies are still talking, and there's a good chance he'll be voted out in November. He's just not in our league.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2020
|
Funny political satire. Three dictators who hopefully everyone has heard of, being interviewed on a game show or talk show panel really, and how funny the Rice-A-Roni comes up, like it used to often in the 1970s. I thought the faux German accent was pretty good. There is one part where it sounds like Adolph lost it, though:
He's an amateur. People claim he's killed 200,000 with this virus, I could do that number in my sleep.
Maybe change 'with' to 'mit' (which means with in German) and maybe change 'my' to 'mein' before the word 'sleep'.
There are a few punctuation things that might merit a second look. In this paragraph:
He hasn't invaded anybody, all his political enemies are still talking, and there's a good chance he'll be voted out in November, he's just not in our league.
I would try:
He hasn't invaded anybody! All his political enemies are still talking, and there's a good chance he'll be voted out in November. He's just not in our league.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2020
-
Thank you. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my script.
Comment from the13thpoet
Hello Earl, for your first script I think it was pretty good. It is definitely a good entry to the contest. Love your take on the past dictators and their thoughts on the Trump. Good job and good luck.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2020
|
Hello Earl, for your first script I think it was pretty good. It is definitely a good entry to the contest. Love your take on the past dictators and their thoughts on the Trump. Good job and good luck.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2020
-
Thank you very much. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my poem.
Comment from trimple
Hi there, Earl.
Thanks Johnny, we have an exciting show for you tonight folks. We have Adolph Hitler, Uncle Joe Stalin, and everybody's favorite maniac Napoleon Bonaparte on our panel.--
cracking kick-starter to this write, Earl.
Love the way you've written Adolf's German accent :)
He's an amateur. People claim he's killed 200,000 with this virus, I could do that number in my sleep.-- Jeez and so he did!
For any attempt, least of all a first, you have engaged your reader from 'Cue the music to 'Cue: Closing theme song'.
Love the satire throughout.
You make me want to be a better writer.
kindest regards to you, Earl.
Tracey
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2020
|
Hi there, Earl.
Thanks Johnny, we have an exciting show for you tonight folks. We have Adolph Hitler, Uncle Joe Stalin, and everybody's favorite maniac Napoleon Bonaparte on our panel.--
cracking kick-starter to this write, Earl.
Love the way you've written Adolf's German accent :)
He's an amateur. People claim he's killed 200,000 with this virus, I could do that number in my sleep.-- Jeez and so he did!
For any attempt, least of all a first, you have engaged your reader from 'Cue the music to 'Cue: Closing theme song'.
Love the satire throughout.
You make me want to be a better writer.
kindest regards to you, Earl.
Tracey
Comment Written 18-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2020
-
Thank you very much Tracey, I appreciate the compliment. The other writers on here have helped me improve my writing so much over the last two years. I actually write poetry now. Thank you for reading and reviewing my work.
-
Hi there, Earl.
Me too! The many good writers here on the site have exposed both my faults and my strengths. :)
At least I know where to place a full stop now...
kind regards
much love
tracey
Comment from RPSaxena
Hello Earl Corp,
Nice piece of Satire Script having lucid as well as perfectly matching the theme phraseology, captivating flow throughout from the beginning to the end, and beautifully depicting its theme laced with a modern flavor/ figure through the renowned historical personalities.
Interesting Indeed!
GOOD LUCK in the contest.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2020
|
Hello Earl Corp,
Nice piece of Satire Script having lucid as well as perfectly matching the theme phraseology, captivating flow throughout from the beginning to the end, and beautifully depicting its theme laced with a modern flavor/ figure through the renowned historical personalities.
Interesting Indeed!
GOOD LUCK in the contest.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2020
-
Thank you very much. I took third. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my work.
-
Earl Corp, Most Welcome!
With best wishes,
~ RP
Comment from Mastery
Hi Earl. This is original and very funny in places, like here: "Blink: Yeah I bet that cut down on complaints quite a bit."
And here: "Uncle Joe: They didn't stay long once they met Generals January and February."
A clever write, my friend. Bob
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2020
|
Hi Earl. This is original and very funny in places, like here: "Blink: Yeah I bet that cut down on complaints quite a bit."
And here: "Uncle Joe: They didn't stay long once they met Generals January and February."
A clever write, my friend. Bob
Comment Written 17-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2020
-
Thank you very much Bob. I took third place with my very first script. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my work.
-
Really? Good for you, earl. That make sme happy that I could help. :) Bob
Comment from Gloria ....
Hey Earl, I think you did a smashing job with this script. You've got an interesting theme, ie a game show and you've picked some fine characters along with a ton of fun among them all.
The way I figure it, even though we know our history, we are still doomed to repeat it. It's a funny thing.
A fine job here and I wish you lots of luck with the voters.
Gloria
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2020
|
Hey Earl, I think you did a smashing job with this script. You've got an interesting theme, ie a game show and you've picked some fine characters along with a ton of fun among them all.
The way I figure it, even though we know our history, we are still doomed to repeat it. It's a funny thing.
A fine job here and I wish you lots of luck with the voters.
Gloria
Comment Written 17-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2020
-
Thank you very much Gloria. I took third. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my work.
Comment from Ulla
Hey ,Earl, I wouldn't know how to write a script either, hence I never will. Mind you, I once said that about poetry, as well. But that aside, I think you've done a great job and I laughed out loud a couple of times. Good luck in the contest. Trump is up there with all your characters. I don't see that as a compliment, though, and neither do you. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2020
|
Hey ,Earl, I wouldn't know how to write a script either, hence I never will. Mind you, I once said that about poetry, as well. But that aside, I think you've done a great job and I laughed out loud a couple of times. Good luck in the contest. Trump is up there with all your characters. I don't see that as a compliment, though, and neither do you. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 17-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2020
-
Thank you very much Ulla. I took third. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my work.
-
Congratulations!
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That was just hilarious! I loved it. If that is your fist attempt at script writing, Earl, then you have seriously underestimated yourself. You have to write more. Your humour shines in this dialogue, and I loved the name you called Napolian, Nappy! LOL. As for Trump, well, the whole world is waiting to see how he gets on in the election.
I really enjoyed reading this one. Very well done. :)) Sandra x
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2020
|
That was just hilarious! I loved it. If that is your fist attempt at script writing, Earl, then you have seriously underestimated yourself. You have to write more. Your humour shines in this dialogue, and I loved the name you called Napolian, Nappy! LOL. As for Trump, well, the whole world is waiting to see how he gets on in the election.
I really enjoyed reading this one. Very well done. :)) Sandra x
Comment Written 17-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2020
-
Thank you very much Sandra. I took third. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my work.
-
Third for your first attempt! There you go, I was right, you are good at them. Let's have some more. xx
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
(typo: it's stomach s/b its) Delightfully clever--well done as a script--never had pegged you as a first-timer! Good luck--may be a winner! Cheers. LIZ
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2020
|
(typo: it's stomach s/b its) Delightfully clever--well done as a script--never had pegged you as a first-timer! Good luck--may be a winner! Cheers. LIZ
Comment Written 17-Sep-2020
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2020
-
Thank you very much Liz. I took third. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my work.