Intrusion
A Nightmare Come True31 total reviews
Comment from Jacob Collins
You built up the tension well in this piece, Ulla. I felt this particularly as your character is waiting for the person to open the door and confront them. But then you leave us wondering. Who is this person? Why have they been imprisoned and who is their captor? I hope that at some stage you may return to this. I couldn't find any faults with your work. Good luck in the contest...Jacob
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2015
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You built up the tension well in this piece, Ulla. I felt this particularly as your character is waiting for the person to open the door and confront them. But then you leave us wondering. Who is this person? Why have they been imprisoned and who is their captor? I hope that at some stage you may return to this. I couldn't find any faults with your work. Good luck in the contest...Jacob
Comment Written 12-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2015
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Thank you so much. Ulla
Comment from Walu Feral
G'day mate. Crikey that would have to be the scariest situation to be in. This is a very well written and presented piece and a great inclusion into this contest and I wish you luck in it. Cheers Fez
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2015
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G'day mate. Crikey that would have to be the scariest situation to be in. This is a very well written and presented piece and a great inclusion into this contest and I wish you luck in it. Cheers Fez
Comment Written 11-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2015
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Thank ou so much for your encouraging review. Ulla
Comment from Bill Schott
Oooo! That's gotta hurt. This was a nice build up of suspense leading to the 'shears for fears' moment. If the intruder survives, maybe a scissor stitch could be used. Happy day.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2015
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Oooo! That's gotta hurt. This was a nice build up of suspense leading to the 'shears for fears' moment. If the intruder survives, maybe a scissor stitch could be used. Happy day.
Comment Written 11-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2015
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Thanks so much. Yeah, you may be right. Ulla
Comment from godlucifer
what a great fiction. the imgination and imagery was scary. great write with a great tale. this tale carry a horror feeling and the imagery was a feeling to be felt. your story was definitely amuse and it was great to read. i enjoyed n reading your story. thanks for the read. "your so vein" means mood or humor.
your so vein
godlucifer
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2015
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what a great fiction. the imgination and imagery was scary. great write with a great tale. this tale carry a horror feeling and the imagery was a feeling to be felt. your story was definitely amuse and it was great to read. i enjoyed n reading your story. thanks for the read. "your so vein" means mood or humor.
your so vein
godlucifer
Comment Written 11-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2015
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Thank you very much. Ulla
Comment from Sis Cat
Wow. You had me gripped in terror. You fit so much into 100 words. Your descriptions are vivid and visceral. I want to know what happened after the intruder's head is stabbed. Thank you for scaring and daring.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2015
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Wow. You had me gripped in terror. You fit so much into 100 words. Your descriptions are vivid and visceral. I want to know what happened after the intruder's head is stabbed. Thank you for scaring and daring.
Comment Written 11-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2015
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Thanks a lot. Ulla
Comment from ElPoetry001
Sounds, even without objects, project a fear into the mind that words cannot create.
Ok, here is my 100.
So, that is how it is going to be. They come at night and make scratching noises at my windows. Then, nothing. Noise that sounds like an attempt to open the rear door of the house.
The plan:
Infrared cameras--picture of the area, miniature microphones, near the rear doors and windows of the house, near the barn.
Two men near the barn. ON button, recording of loud barking hunting dogs, chasing feral hogs.
A flashlight, three men near the rear door. ON button, recording of a large rattle snake.
The raspy sound will freeze a person where they stand.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2015
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Sounds, even without objects, project a fear into the mind that words cannot create.
Ok, here is my 100.
So, that is how it is going to be. They come at night and make scratching noises at my windows. Then, nothing. Noise that sounds like an attempt to open the rear door of the house.
The plan:
Infrared cameras--picture of the area, miniature microphones, near the rear doors and windows of the house, near the barn.
Two men near the barn. ON button, recording of loud barking hunting dogs, chasing feral hogs.
A flashlight, three men near the rear door. ON button, recording of a large rattle snake.
The raspy sound will freeze a person where they stand.
Comment Written 11-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2015
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Thank you so much, but that makes a whole differrent story of course. Ulla
Comment from mesp1986
This is a very suspenseful story. I think you did a wonderful job following the writing prompt. The picture is kind of spooky as well.
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2015
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This is a very suspenseful story. I think you did a wonderful job following the writing prompt. The picture is kind of spooky as well.
Comment Written 11-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2015
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Thank you very much. Ulla
Comment from Eric1
Hi Ulla, well you have certainly set the pace here with your wonderfully penned horror story, it is a great entry for this particular competition, it has suspense intrigue and a violent ending, what more could any horror fan want? Good luck in the contest my friend.
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2015
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Hi Ulla, well you have certainly set the pace here with your wonderfully penned horror story, it is a great entry for this particular competition, it has suspense intrigue and a violent ending, what more could any horror fan want? Good luck in the contest my friend.
Comment Written 11-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2015
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Thank you so much for your very encouraging review. Ulla
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It was my pleasure Ulla
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Interesting story, and definitely scary. It's great that you were able to find just the right words to put together to make a horror tale. I sure hope the scissors were plunged into someone who needed stabbing! Great job!
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2015
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Interesting story, and definitely scary. It's great that you were able to find just the right words to put together to make a horror tale. I sure hope the scissors were plunged into someone who needed stabbing! Great job!
Comment Written 11-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2015
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Thanks very much for your great review. Ulla
Comment from penneylane
It is very difficult to write a story with so few words, even harder to make the reader feel the fear of a horror story. I would have liked to know who was at opening the door, but sometimes there just aren't enough words. Well done!
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2015
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It is very difficult to write a story with so few words, even harder to make the reader feel the fear of a horror story. I would have liked to know who was at opening the door, but sometimes there just aren't enough words. Well done!
Comment Written 10-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2015
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Thank you so much. Ulla