Reviews from

Mango and Ranger Joe

A Mango & Bert story

31 total reviews 
Comment from Gloria ....
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi John, this is a good lesson indeed and I love that you've used animals to tell it.

Love the merry-go-round. That image definitely pounds home the circularity of nasty gossip.

I guess that's the only other question I would've had Bert ask. Would you repeat this story to Ranger Joe? If the answer is no, then you are in the presence of nasty gossip.

Sometimes we don't realize that even if the gossip is true, it's still gossip if the intention is to hurt another dog.

Very cute story, John. :)

Gloria

 Comment Written 14-Feb-2015


reply by the author on 14-Feb-2015
    Thank you Gloria for taking the time to read my story. I always appreciate it.

    John
Comment from Jumbo J
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi John,
sorry for coming in late friend, but I've have computer issues most of the week... but received my new-you-beaut '4G dongle' from my Internet server and things should be on the mend... what a pain!

Hey brother, you know how I love Bert and Mango and all the great lessons and moral values it makes the reader and readee's think about... Mums and Dads will get as much benefit out of this chapter as the kids. Just way too much gossip mongering... with stories mutating and changing with each new ear who hears it... great lesson... you hit this one out of the park!

This is where you live... this is your forte Brother... I'm damn sure I'm not the only one who thinks so... love the way you incorporate all the 'gang' in this episode... but one thing?

What the hell did Mango hear? It's doing my inquiring head in... smile))))))).

With our thoughts we create,
a moral code,
James.

 Comment Written 14-Feb-2015


reply by the author on 14-Feb-2015
    You know the old saying... What happens at the playground stays at the playground...

    I appreciate your reading this my brother. The six stars are icing on the cake second to your words of encouragement.

    Glad your computer is back up and operating again.

    I hope your doing well with your rehab and getting stronger by the day.

    Be well my friend, write-on! John
Comment from jpduck
Excellent
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An interesting children's story. It has the right qualities of repetition and accumulation to suit younger kids (6 or 7, say). But some of the language is more appropriate for an older group (eg, rejuvinated; confirm; contrary; diminished; interjected) and I am not sure that the story line or the heavy moral message would suit them too well. What do you think?

One typo:

'Some of the excitement had diminished from Mango's eyes and she' (Delete the line-break after this).


Adrian


 Comment Written 11-Feb-2015


reply by the author on 11-Feb-2015
    I understand your point on those words. Thank you for reading and sharing. John
Comment from MelB
Excellent
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What a great message. Best to not get caught up in rumors and they can really hurt a friendship, especially if they are not true. I like that the story was from the animals viewpoint.

 Comment Written 10-Feb-2015


reply by the author on 10-Feb-2015
    Thank you MelB for reading and reviewing my story. I'm glad that you enjoyed it.
    John
Comment from RGstar
Excellent
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I have a soft spot fr fables or its like. You got a sound message across as gossip has mostly rude awakenings.. I love the characterful elements of this write. You did a great job, my friend. Thoroughly enjoyable.
My best wishes,
RG

 Comment Written 10-Feb-2015


reply by the author on 10-Feb-2015
    RG, thank you sir, for such an encouraging review. I do appreciate it highly. John
Comment from Sasha
Excellent
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This is marvelous. Absolutely spell-binding and superbly written. I wish I had a 6 to give you for it. I enjoyed this immensely and love the message you gave with this one too. Keep up the great work.

 Comment Written 10-Feb-2015


reply by the author on 10-Feb-2015
    Aye, a virtual six works. In fact, as it becomes a part of review it does mean a bit more. Thank you valarie, you've made my late afternoon better. John
Comment from Carolyn 'Deaton' Stephens
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Wow John,
All your little animals have a great story to tell. One of several great lessons learned from Bert. Spreading rumors is an easy habit to get in to. You have given great reasons why it is a bad habit.
Find out if what you are going to tell is : True, good or useful.. If not.. don't tell it.
Well done,
Love, Carolyn

 Comment Written 10-Feb-2015


reply by the author on 10-Feb-2015
    Wow. Thank you, Carolyn for reading, sharing, enjoying and encouraging.
    You're the best. John
Comment from GracieAnn
Excellent
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Jmdg, this is an appropriately written piece for children that is interesting and creative. Solid dialogue throughout. Nicely done. :0 GracieAnn

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2015


reply by the author on 10-Feb-2015
    GracieAnn, thank you for the encouraging review. John
Comment from Ric Myworld
Excellent
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Thanks for the pleasure of reading your well written and entertaining story that gives us all a good piece of advice to heed and follow in our own lives. Great job. :-)

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2015


reply by the author on 09-Feb-2015
    Thank you so much Ric. I am glad you stopped by to read and share. John
Comment from IndianaIrish
Excellent
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Great lesson story for kids, John, using the critters to get your message across. I like that you didn't tell what the gossip was. It keeps the interest level up and then brings the message home. References all say not to use anything except said or asked with speech tags. They shouldn't be given any emphasis. You can always use it with narrative like ... said Bert as he held up his paw to stop Mango. Something like that. I know you like using some new words kids might learn, but rejuvenated is maybe too much. The trick is using a word they may figure out in the context of the sentence.
Enjoyed your story very much, John.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)

She needed to confirm what she thought she just heard(,) so she turned to her friend Slushie.

Slushie, a five(-)year-old Brittany spaniel(,) was busy rolling

Mango, a five(-)year-old Beagle(,) started to run through the playground. She just heard some news and couldn't wait to share it with Bert, an eleven(-)year-old Saint Bernard

"Cool. Can I come to Bert's house too?" (asked)Asked Hugo-the-Bear

"Hmph(Humph),(.)" Half)half awake, Bert pawed

I gotta tell all'ya (all y'all) something

"Hmph(Humph),(.)" Some of the excitement diminished (a better word for a child?)

Mango's excitement rejuvenated (a better word for a,kid?)

"Well then," concluded(said) Bert.

"Bert's right," interjected(said) Belinda Bunny.

Your (You're) learning."

 Comment Written 09-Feb-2015


reply by the author on 09-Feb-2015
    Thank you Karyn, for reading and sharing your thoughts, you know I take'em to heart.

    Thanks again, John