Reviews from

Tall Tales and Short Stories

Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "The Merry- Go- Round"
Personal growth stories for children

16 total reviews 
Comment from MagKing
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Have you ever been on a merry go round with horses driving up and down.
To be really honest, I've never been on one...Perhaps one day will be chanced to be on one...If it's not too late for my age....Laughing...
Great piece of work

MagKing

 Comment Written 19-Feb-2014


reply by the author on 19-Feb-2014
    Thanks MagKing, hey it's never to late to ride a Merry-Go-Round, just grab a kid and go. So glad you enjoyed this one, :-) Carolyn
Comment from Kausar_Javeria
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I oved it...remind me of the first time I rode one..ahhh..that good ol' merry-go-round..
I absolutely loved this..you described perfectly whatever thoughts go through our mind when we're on it!
Great Job!
Good Luck and God Bless~!

 Comment Written 19-Feb-2014


reply by the author on 19-Feb-2014
    What a wonderful review you have given for The Merry-Go-Round. I am delighted you enjoyed it. :-) Carolyn
Comment from Sylvia Page
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

To be a cowboy on horseback, running/riding in the wind

This is a beautiful carefree and happy-go-lucky poem. The imagery is spot on that I felt I was on that wooden horse riding up and down that merry-go-round.
Best wishes,
Love and blessings,
Sylvia

 Comment Written 18-Feb-2014


reply by the author on 18-Feb-2014
    Thanks Sylvia, I enjoy writing for children and often find adults like it too. Thanks for your wonderful comments. Love, Carolyn
Comment from Smoothiecool
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

good luck in the contest
your words allow the reader to see and feel the image of the merry-go-round and how much fun it can be pretending to be who you wish to be
the words used are easy for a child to relate to
good rhyme that flows
great alliteration in
bare, backed
whenever, want, where
then, take, ticket, today
who, want,
pretend, play
cheers Smoothiecool

 Comment Written 18-Feb-2014


reply by the author on 18-Feb-2014
    I appreciate this wonderful review from you..
reply by Smoothiecool on 18-Feb-2014
    most welcome..SC
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is really cute and kids would love it. Who doesn't enjoy a merry go round, but to a kid it can be a magical adventure from his/her imagination. Good luck in the contest. :)

 Comment Written 18-Feb-2014


reply by the author on 18-Feb-2014
    Thanks Phyllis, I appreciate your wonderful comments and best wishes.
Comment from royowen
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A clever poem that flows beautifully from beginning to end! Because the rhyme and rhythm make It makes it foe more easily and fluidly " off the tongue " good solid narrative. Well done,

 Comment Written 18-Feb-2014


reply by the author on 18-Feb-2014
    Thank you for your kind comments, so glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from Leineco
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Great Merry-go-round and children's poem!
It tickles the imagination, and tickles our memories too!
What could be more fanciful than penning an ode to the good old days,
when unicorns, horses and roaring lions rode around merrily
and took us into a thousand roles to play? :-)

 Comment Written 17-Feb-2014


reply by the author on 17-Feb-2014
    What a wonderful review this is. Thank you so much
Comment from Righteous Riter
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Good solid rhyming couplets. Good end rhyming. Good perfect rhyming with bold/gold. Good alliteration with bare/backed...when/want/where...takes/ticket...pretend/play. Good rhythm and flow. Good complimentary photo followed by a clear message.

 Comment Written 17-Feb-2014


reply by the author on 17-Feb-2014
    I appreciate this wonderful review and the literary encouragement. Thank you for noting all the 'goods'. :-)
Comment from Charlene0513
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

The excitement and flash that come from a fair and all the glitter and magnificent intrigue that is placed on such huge death-defying rides can certainly make the hairs stand up on your head.
Charlene

 Comment Written 17-Feb-2014


reply by the author on 17-Feb-2014
    Thank you for your great comments.
Comment from mumsyone
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A good subject for children's poetry, but it's important to have everything correct when children may be reading it:

The Merry(-)Go(-)Round

Have you ever been on a Merry(-)Go(-)Round

When ever (Whenever) I want, where ever (wherever) I dare

Then all it takes is a ticket to day (today)

If you've never ridden on a Merry(-)Go(-)Round

This line is a little long and throws off the rhythm of the poem:
To be a cowboy on horseback running in the wind (Maybe better?: To be a cowboy riding in the wind)

If you make corrections, please let me know and I will be happy to read it again.


 Comment Written 17-Feb-2014


reply by the author on 17-Feb-2014
    Thank you for the fine edits and comments, you have made some beneficial points. If you would like to take another look that would be great as I will revisit the poem and use some of your suggestions.