The Heart of Poetry
Viewing comments for Chapter 74 "The Score"'Tis not the Bard, but pretty good poetry anyway
15 total reviews
Comment from lakeport
The score,indeed wolves would to eat a lamb,that's a very nice expressed poem, nice in Sedoka form, I enjoyed reading it.God bless you. Hugs!lakeport.
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2013
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The score,indeed wolves would to eat a lamb,that's a very nice expressed poem, nice in Sedoka form, I enjoyed reading it.God bless you. Hugs!lakeport.
Comment Written 06-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2013
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Thanks for the comments on The Score. Blessings back to you, :-) Carolyn
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your welcome. Hugs!lakeport.
Comment from 9999pool
The bloodied wolves are up to no good again at the shepherd's farm. They have just killed three animals and in hot pursuit, the shepherds got more than even by downing four of the vicious wolves. the battle continues but in the end there will be loses on both sides and no winners.
A truly beautiful Sedoka and the theme is excellent too.
Cheerio, hugs, bro Ritchie. :))
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2013
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The bloodied wolves are up to no good again at the shepherd's farm. They have just killed three animals and in hot pursuit, the shepherds got more than even by downing four of the vicious wolves. the battle continues but in the end there will be loses on both sides and no winners.
A truly beautiful Sedoka and the theme is excellent too.
Cheerio, hugs, bro Ritchie. :))
Comment Written 05-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2013
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I knew in the past of a wolf pack that spent their evenings killing sheep, not always for food, just fun. That's how this one made it to the page. Love, Carolyn
Comment from Curly Girly
This was a fascinating verse to read. And, wow! What a wolf image, lol! Yes, this is true to life. The tally would probably work like that.
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2013
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This was a fascinating verse to read. And, wow! What a wolf image, lol! Yes, this is true to life. The tally would probably work like that.
Comment Written 05-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2013
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Isn't that a 'hoot'? Not a wolf-pack to choose from. :-) Glad you read and commented, thanks, Carolyn
Comment from allborn66
This is a very interesting poem. You tell the two sides well. The word choice is strong. The piece has a nice flow. Barbara
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2013
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This is a very interesting poem. You tell the two sides well. The word choice is strong. The piece has a nice flow. Barbara
Comment Written 03-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2013
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Tha nk you Barbara
Comment from Simple Reflection
Interesting subject matter. Well thought out words give reader a vivid image. Your poem meets all the 5-7-7 criteria. Good luck!
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2013
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Interesting subject matter. Well thought out words give reader a vivid image. Your poem meets all the 5-7-7 criteria. Good luck!
Comment Written 03-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2013
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I appre iate your comments
Comment from Charlene0513
Normally these wild creatures are harmless unless the threat of hunger lures them into areas where humans will be the prime target if in residential areas.
Good metaphor: Nostrils fill with fresh blood scent
Charlene
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2013
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Normally these wild creatures are harmless unless the threat of hunger lures them into areas where humans will be the prime target if in residential areas.
Good metaphor: Nostrils fill with fresh blood scent
Charlene
Comment Written 02-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2013
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Thank you for the great rating and comments. :-)
Comment from Patti R.
A very good example of sedoka poetry. The harshness of the battle between man and beast, vying for territory and food is beautifully emphasized by the separate stanzas.
Good luck in the contest.
Patti
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2013
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A very good example of sedoka poetry. The harshness of the battle between man and beast, vying for territory and food is beautifully emphasized by the separate stanzas.
Good luck in the contest.
Patti
Comment Written 02-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2013
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Thank you Patti, I appreciate your great review and comments. :-)
Comment from Cry the Vile Rebel
This was an awesome look at two sides of the drama. I like that you presented both views without predudice.
That second line of the first stanza gave me pause. I think I understand or can guess at your thought process in making the decision to phrase it this way - the forms's syllable count is very exacting. For myself, I think it would be worth playing with. Perhaps something along the lines "Nostrils fill with fresh (hot? warm?) blood scent" would feel less awkward.Your next line reveals the identity of the wolf-pack's victims well even without naming them "sheep" in the second line. Just a thought.
In any event, please take that llast bit of ponderment in the vein it was meant and with a grain of salt. I think this will be a strong contender, and wish you luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2013
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This was an awesome look at two sides of the drama. I like that you presented both views without predudice.
That second line of the first stanza gave me pause. I think I understand or can guess at your thought process in making the decision to phrase it this way - the forms's syllable count is very exacting. For myself, I think it would be worth playing with. Perhaps something along the lines "Nostrils fill with fresh (hot? warm?) blood scent" would feel less awkward.Your next line reveals the identity of the wolf-pack's victims well even without naming them "sheep" in the second line. Just a thought.
In any event, please take that llast bit of ponderment in the vein it was meant and with a grain of salt. I think this will be a strong contender, and wish you luck in the contest.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2013
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Thanks for your wonderful review and edits. I appreciate your care. I used your suggestion in verse one.
Comment from wiljacro
HI! WOW! you sure brought this tale to life and also to a bloody end! That's good considering the 6 line restriction, though I admit to feeling sorry for the little lamb! GHooid luck in this Comp. wiljacro.
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2013
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HI! WOW! you sure brought this tale to life and also to a bloody end! That's good considering the 6 line restriction, though I admit to feeling sorry for the little lamb! GHooid luck in this Comp. wiljacro.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2013
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Thanks for this great review and good wishes. I am so glad you liked this one :-)
Comment from dennis0530
You have penned a piece about sheep and wolves. This could be true with both animal and human versions.
Since the animal variety is better known, I will write about the animal variety. In the animal prey and predator roles, the goal is simply that of obtaining food for the predator and survival for the prey.
The human version is more complicated and sinister. In the constant battle between strong and weak, the costs are higher. Even if it ends sometimes end in casualties for both sides, the weak suffer more and often. But the more despicable aspects are that the sheep (the weak) suffer enslavement, subjugation and constant harassment.
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2013
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You have penned a piece about sheep and wolves. This could be true with both animal and human versions.
Since the animal variety is better known, I will write about the animal variety. In the animal prey and predator roles, the goal is simply that of obtaining food for the predator and survival for the prey.
The human version is more complicated and sinister. In the constant battle between strong and weak, the costs are higher. Even if it ends sometimes end in casualties for both sides, the weak suffer more and often. But the more despicable aspects are that the sheep (the weak) suffer enslavement, subjugation and constant harassment.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2013
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i appreciate all your very insightful comments..