Reviews from

Tsunami

fear of loving again

5 total reviews 
Comment from Sueellen11
Excellent
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Tears of a broken heart as a tsunami , great write great entry into the contest, true to form and count, well one, good luck with this, blessings sueelle

 Comment Written 24-Aug-2013

reply by the author on 24-Aug-2013
    thank you for the encouraging words. not used to writing with rules. usually just ramble on. hahaha.
Comment from Bill Schott
Excellent
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I think that this senryu uses a little hyperbole to caution the reader, or intended reader, against hurting feelings. The water works promise to be epic.

 Comment Written 24-Aug-2013

reply by the author on 24-Aug-2013
    Ha! nicely put. thank you.
Comment from RYME4U
Excellent
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This is well done. The structure and syllable count are exactly right.The end line sums up the first two. that is a good thing! You have done well with this senryu.

 Comment Written 24-Aug-2013

reply by the author on 24-Aug-2013
    so very pleased. thank you. very new to this form. usually I just blather on with no structure and keep going till I decide that I am done. mike
Comment from vkmack
Excellent
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Great use of language and perfect syllable count. Love the use of tsunami to call to mind the image of inordinate or excessive damage. Excellent senryu on the possibility of heartbreak. Great job.

 Comment Written 24-Aug-2013

reply by the author on 24-Aug-2013
    thank you so much. the last review I received told me that it made no sense at all. hahaha. I am so insecure that it took you to take away my feeling of eminent doom! this is life or death is it not? hahaha!
reply by vkmack on 24-Aug-2013
    I completely understand! I recently got an average because someone didn't like the meaning of the work. Really? It took a while to walk it off. You make a great point. It's not life or death, but we all love positive feedback. We are only human, and that's okay.
    Hang in there. They are your words, so hang on to them in the tsunami. Smile.
Comment from rjuselius
Excellent
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"if you break my heart
you will never survive the
tsunami deluge"
i don't quite get it, how does your love prevent him being washed ashore? please explain, i'll give you a higher mark if you will.
anyhoo, thank you for sharing!

rebekka x

 Comment Written 24-Aug-2013

reply by the author on 24-Aug-2013
    hmm. I guess it is really unclear. it is saying if you hurt me I will destroy you. if you break my heart: if you hurt me
    you will never survive: you will die
    the tsunami deluge: the giant wave of my wrath.
    oh well, I tried. thanks for reading anyway.
reply by rjuselius on 24-Aug-2013
    thank you for clearing it up:) rebekka x
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2013
    thank you for spending the time with it. mikey