The Hole
blank verse about familial secrets18 total reviews
Comment from babylonia
mike,
and another one bites the dust. secrets can only keep us sicker and sickest we become when we trudge through the pain ... leaving us undone. LOL guess you inspired my thoughts today. LOL glad someone is as i have a dirty house and two manuscripts to edit. ugh~ LOL hope you are doing well.
love,
barbara
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2012
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mike,
and another one bites the dust. secrets can only keep us sicker and sickest we become when we trudge through the pain ... leaving us undone. LOL guess you inspired my thoughts today. LOL glad someone is as i have a dirty house and two manuscripts to edit. ugh~ LOL hope you are doing well.
love,
barbara
Comment Written 27-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2012
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Thanks so much, Barbara :-). I had a feeling you'd connect with this one!
Mike
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mike,
:P
you are so right.
love,
barbara
Comment from livingwords
Your work seems to reflect the dark side of Jude. Sort of galactic ying yang. Actually, the two of you could do a book that combines/contrasts your respective visions. I'd buy it! Dan :))
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2012
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Your work seems to reflect the dark side of Jude. Sort of galactic ying yang. Actually, the two of you could do a book that combines/contrasts your respective visions. I'd buy it! Dan :))
Comment Written 25-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2012
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Thanks so much, Dan. We've talked about doing that book a couple of times, so you never know. We do seem to bounce off each other pretty well.
Mike
Comment from barbara.wilkey
The words you carefully chose are extremely descriptive. It form a vivid imagine in my mind and it wasn't a beautiful peaceful image. Oh well, I did enjoy reading this poem.
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2012
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The words you carefully chose are extremely descriptive. It form a vivid imagine in my mind and it wasn't a beautiful peaceful image. Oh well, I did enjoy reading this poem.
Comment Written 25-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2012
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Thank you, Barbara :-). Judian's poem was full of light and family joy, so I was angling for the polar opposite, creating a piece about a family that's gone entirely the other way!
Mike
Comment from dragonpoet
Very descriptive blank verse poem about grief after the loss of a family member. Although it doesn't rhyme it flows very
well. The black of the background seem to be the blackness of grief. Hopefully the family will find its way to each other again. It seems to be a non rhyming sonnet which I have never seen before.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2012
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Very descriptive blank verse poem about grief after the loss of a family member. Although it doesn't rhyme it flows very
well. The black of the background seem to be the blackness of grief. Hopefully the family will find its way to each other again. It seems to be a non rhyming sonnet which I have never seen before.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
Comment Written 25-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2012
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Thank you :-). Yeah, I liked the idea of a blank verse in sonnet structure - it lets one control pace more easily, as rhyme tends to accelerate the reading mind. I'm so glad you enjoyed it - pretty much the opposite of Judian's piece!
Mike
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You're welcome.
Joan
Comment from FlamingSpade
I liked your post but I was left feeling sad, lost and hopeless. By the time I finished reading your post, I was ready to climb out of any hole I've fallen into.
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2012
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I liked your post but I was left feeling sad, lost and hopeless. By the time I finished reading your post, I was ready to climb out of any hole I've fallen into.
Comment Written 25-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2012
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Thank you :-). I think dark/down writing is important, because it highlights the lighter side of life by contrast. I'm so glad you got the mixed emotions from it.
Mike
Comment from Just Alyx
Love the potent turns that ask the reader to explore and assess. Vivid triggers with dankest, putrid, levity with pain and basement's dark to suggest malice hidden and suppressed. Best line "and cast a new ancestor to the flames" because it hints at youthful victims of family secrets unpunished and ongoing thru 'duty' and fear. I know too many who would relate to this. The final lines show the hopelessness of it all. The issue of entrapment spoke loudly. Impressive while depressing. We should never turn away to save our own sensibilities. Some 'homes' can reperesent the worst of the aggressors like a continual nightmare in the minds of others. Never assume, I say, what lies beneath. Ask. The title and black hole were a great touch. Really well done. Alyx
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2012
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Love the potent turns that ask the reader to explore and assess. Vivid triggers with dankest, putrid, levity with pain and basement's dark to suggest malice hidden and suppressed. Best line "and cast a new ancestor to the flames" because it hints at youthful victims of family secrets unpunished and ongoing thru 'duty' and fear. I know too many who would relate to this. The final lines show the hopelessness of it all. The issue of entrapment spoke loudly. Impressive while depressing. We should never turn away to save our own sensibilities. Some 'homes' can reperesent the worst of the aggressors like a continual nightmare in the minds of others. Never assume, I say, what lies beneath. Ask. The title and black hole were a great touch. Really well done. Alyx
Comment Written 24-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2012
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Thank you, Alyx. You've really seen in the spaces between the words and thought about the emotions beneath the poem. I appreciate that :-).
Mike
Comment from bard owl
This poem demands heavy thoughts about life and death. I particularly like "memories that lurk against our wills". What anguish such hindsight affords all mankind! Excellent imagery and rhythm in this poem. Blessings, Linda
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2012
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This poem demands heavy thoughts about life and death. I particularly like "memories that lurk against our wills". What anguish such hindsight affords all mankind! Excellent imagery and rhythm in this poem. Blessings, Linda
Comment Written 24-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2012
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Thank you, Linda :-). Some memories have the power to control us, I think, and closed communities like families can get stuck on rails to nowhere if they aren't careful.
Mike
Comment from Sasha
This is really dark and amazingly ominous. Your imagery is quite scary too. Excellent work with this one. I enjoyed it very, very much.
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2012
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This is really dark and amazingly ominous. Your imagery is quite scary too. Excellent work with this one. I enjoyed it very, very much.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2012
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Thank you :-). I wanted the exact opposite of the joy and blissful belonging evoked by Jude's piece. So glad it came across!
Mike
Comment from Judian James
Just a little bit, so NOT "The Cottage", Mike! lol
Wonderful as always and I'm so pleased you posted it. I'm also a tad pleased this is NOT the family that comes to
the cottage I know and love. EXCELLENT blank verse. Thanks!
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2012
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Just a little bit, so NOT "The Cottage", Mike! lol
Wonderful as always and I'm so pleased you posted it. I'm also a tad pleased this is NOT the family that comes to
the cottage I know and love. EXCELLENT blank verse. Thanks!
Comment Written 24-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2012
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lol, yes, I can't imagine anyone wanting this family scene in their calendar, and if they do, I shall give them a wide berth!
Mike
Comment from Tawnyowl
Very dark, sinister ramblings. I really liked this piece and think it worthy of a six. The imagery is menacing and convincing and the 'ancestor consigned to the flames' is powerful and disturbing. A great little piece that should make people think!
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2012
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Very dark, sinister ramblings. I really liked this piece and think it worthy of a six. The imagery is menacing and convincing and the 'ancestor consigned to the flames' is powerful and disturbing. A great little piece that should make people think!
Comment Written 24-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2012
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Thank you so much for the special rating :-). I'm so glad the themes came through for you, as well as the chilling atmosphere.
Mike