Doom and Gloom
something I know a little about, unfortunately...10 total reviews
Comment from Judian James
"There hiding in a darkened room,
A soul is dying in the gloom"
This is my second piece I have read of yours today ... get out now. Your poetry is EXCELLENT, your life, not so much
reply by the author on 01-May-2010
  |
"There hiding in a darkened room,
A soul is dying in the gloom"
This is my second piece I have read of yours today ... get out now. Your poetry is EXCELLENT, your life, not so much
Comment Written 01-May-2010
reply by the author on 01-May-2010
-
Hi Judian!! :) What a fun review! Thank you...I am glad to hear from you again! You are right about my life...it is bad right now...and just being able to write about these feelings, really does help me. Thank you Jude!! Susan
Comment from jlsavell
author, a compelling poem that speaks of dark despair, perhaps an ongoing battle with depression. Certainly your poem has portrayed the anguish and hopelessness in well chosen words..very well done..best wishes with the contest..jlsavell
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2010
|
author, a compelling poem that speaks of dark despair, perhaps an ongoing battle with depression. Certainly your poem has portrayed the anguish and hopelessness in well chosen words..very well done..best wishes with the contest..jlsavell
Comment Written 30-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2010
-
Hi J! Thank you! I am happy you like this, yes, it is an ongoing battle...just seems to never end...thank you for taking time for me!! I appreciate!!
Comment from Harrisa
Your poem is very sad. It is a good entry for this contest. Watching a love one die is probably one of the saddest thing we go through.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2010
|
Your poem is very sad. It is a good entry for this contest. Watching a love one die is probably one of the saddest thing we go through.
Comment Written 30-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2010
-
Hi Harrisa! Thank you. I really appreciate the time you have taken to review and rate this for me!! You are so right, it is devastating. Thanks again!!
Comment from azwildrosa
this one different. one waiting for death as it tip toes out the door. did i get that right? let me read it again...yes, this one is by far the saddest i have read. my heart breaks as i read it. you've written the perfect poem. i wish you many votes. thank you for sharing!
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2010
|
this one different. one waiting for death as it tip toes out the door. did i get that right? let me read it again...yes, this one is by far the saddest i have read. my heart breaks as i read it. you've written the perfect poem. i wish you many votes. thank you for sharing!
Comment Written 30-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2010
-
Hi WildRose! (neat screen name!) THank YOU! I appreciate this kind and encouraging review! Also, your time spent for me!! :)
Comment from asper1
Most of the poems in this prompt are pretty awful tritely rhymed and sloshing around in a luke warm bath of emotion. Your rhymes, fall anturally into place.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2010
 |
Most of the poems in this prompt are pretty awful tritely rhymed and sloshing around in a luke warm bath of emotion. Your rhymes, fall anturally into place.
Comment Written 30-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2010
-
Thank you Asper1! It is nice to hear from you! I really appreciate your great reveiw, and your time for me!
Comment from adewpearl
Susan, Your poem has good flow and strong rhyming couplets and excellent word choices that contribute to the mood - the first line creates the mood so powerfully with its well-selected, alliterative descriptive words and you then sustain the mood throughout. The shredded moon, the sun, a faded, dying bloom - that is powerful. Brooke
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2010
|
Susan, Your poem has good flow and strong rhyming couplets and excellent word choices that contribute to the mood - the first line creates the mood so powerfully with its well-selected, alliterative descriptive words and you then sustain the mood throughout. The shredded moon, the sun, a faded, dying bloom - that is powerful. Brooke
Comment Written 29-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2010
-
Hi Brooke, I just read how you are not a human, via Chaswriters portfolio...amazing, and so good (Somehow funny and poignant too!), but anyway, thank you SO much for reviewing for me! How I appreciate it!!! :)
-
Charlie's story delights me - it is a sequel to another story he wrote about Murphy, the guy who invented Adewpearl. I just die laughing :-)
Comment from AnnaLinda
Susan,
Hi! Hey, I don't care about the punctuation,
because this poem really carries the song
of 'sad' I could here its melody. Oh, that is
probably not good...LOL
These lines just are very mesmerizing:
"Of those who cry and cannot part
With empty and impending doom,
Live and die on shredded moon"
I think that you did a fantastic job
on this entry. I am not crazy about
the artwork, but that is o.k.
Well done,
Linda
I re-read it thinking about punctuation since
you asked. I am not one for a lot of it. I think
that you could probably drop a lot of them. Joan E
and Brooke could be of help with that.
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2010
|
Susan,
Hi! Hey, I don't care about the punctuation,
because this poem really carries the song
of 'sad' I could here its melody. Oh, that is
probably not good...LOL
These lines just are very mesmerizing:
"Of those who cry and cannot part
With empty and impending doom,
Live and die on shredded moon"
I think that you did a fantastic job
on this entry. I am not crazy about
the artwork, but that is o.k.
Well done,
Linda
I re-read it thinking about punctuation since
you asked. I am not one for a lot of it. I think
that you could probably drop a lot of them. Joan E
and Brooke could be of help with that.
Comment Written 29-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2010
-
Hi Linda! Yes, the art is odd, but I was trying to be brave,or different? Seems everyone uses a lot of the same pix, that is why I love yours, they are all different! Thank you for a great review! I do not want to offend you Sweet!!
Comment from jwlee211
Excellent work. You created a strong message for the reader. I really like the images this poem brings to the mind of the reader. Great job
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2010
|
Excellent work. You created a strong message for the reader. I really like the images this poem brings to the mind of the reader. Great job
Comment Written 29-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2010
-
Hi Jwlee!! Thank you! I am happy you like this odd poem...I wanted to be different? Thank you SO much!
Comment from almajac
You definitely have the mood down. However, the word dying is spelled wrong in two places.
dieing in the gloom
dieing bloom,
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2010
|
You definitely have the mood down. However, the word dying is spelled wrong in two places.
dieing in the gloom
dieing bloom,
Comment Written 29-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2010
-
Hi there, I fixed the misspells, thank you for this help!! :)
Comment from munira
Your poetry of death and gloom is interesting,but it doesn't paint a gloomy picture,I can't feel the pain of the soul dieing in the gloom.
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2010
|
Your poetry of death and gloom is interesting,but it doesn't paint a gloomy picture,I can't feel the pain of the soul dieing in the gloom.
Comment Written 29-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2010
-
hi there! Thank you! I will read it again, and see what I did wrong? Thanks for giving me a hint! :)