Goodbyes(part 2)
The end of my first short story19 total reviews
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is a gentle and tearful post filled with memories and touching moments that we love to remember. Oh to die a gentle and peaceful death such as this and be surrounded by all our favourite things, not to be alone, and without the pain and suffering of illness. I enjoyed your touching words here Joan, a magical story indeed, love Dolly x x x
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This is a gentle and tearful post filled with memories and touching moments that we love to remember. Oh to die a gentle and peaceful death such as this and be surrounded by all our favourite things, not to be alone, and without the pain and suffering of illness. I enjoyed your touching words here Joan, a magical story indeed, love Dolly x x x
Comment Written 18-Oct-2024
Comment from Wendy G
Well written story, and the mother had a sweet and gentle passing it would appear. I wondered if the father was planting the garden so there would be beautiful things in the coming seasons for the family to remember him by. An enjoyable, poignant read.
Wendy
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Well written story, and the mother had a sweet and gentle passing it would appear. I wondered if the father was planting the garden so there would be beautiful things in the coming seasons for the family to remember him by. An enjoyable, poignant read.
Wendy
Comment Written 18-Oct-2024
Comment from Cindy Decker 3
Joan,
A lovely, poignant story. I feel the sadness in the mother's and father's death; sometimes active, beautiful people sadly fade away... like my mom and dad in real life.
You capture sadness and melancholy very beautifully.
Exceptional, Joan.
Best wishes,
Cindy
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2024
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Joan,
A lovely, poignant story. I feel the sadness in the mother's and father's death; sometimes active, beautiful people sadly fade away... like my mom and dad in real life.
You capture sadness and melancholy very beautifully.
Exceptional, Joan.
Best wishes,
Cindy
Comment Written 17-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2024
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Thanks for such positive comments. I am honored be the six star review.
Joan
Comment from Wayne Fowler
What a blessed way to go. Almost makes you want it to hurry up.
...all seated at on end - oops (one, or an?)
...fresh baked crescent rolls... - I'm sure that this qualifies as nitpicking, but 'freshly' baked would settle the debate whether 'fresh baked' should be hyphenated.
I remembered how surprised I was, at Dad's shiva, when Alice... - This would read a bit easier without the commas.
Very nicely told. Great work.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2024
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What a blessed way to go. Almost makes you want it to hurry up.
...all seated at on end - oops (one, or an?)
...fresh baked crescent rolls... - I'm sure that this qualifies as nitpicking, but 'freshly' baked would settle the debate whether 'fresh baked' should be hyphenated.
I remembered how surprised I was, at Dad's shiva, when Alice... - This would read a bit easier without the commas.
Very nicely told. Great work.
Comment Written 17-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2024
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Thanks for the nice review and and the careful editing. I will make the changes.
Joan
Comment from Nicki.B
It's so sorry for your losses. This is a lovely story, I had to look up the word Shiva as I wasn't familiar at all with it. Some beautiful memories of your Dad and your family sounded like you were really close and had a lot of love. Well done, nicely written.
Best Wishes
Nicki
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2024
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It's so sorry for your losses. This is a lovely story, I had to look up the word Shiva as I wasn't familiar at all with it. Some beautiful memories of your Dad and your family sounded like you were really close and had a lot of love. Well done, nicely written.
Best Wishes
Nicki
Comment Written 15-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2024
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Hi Nicki,
Thanks for the nice review. This is fiction not autobiographical. Though I am married to a Jew and the ideas about the Shiva were mine after I attended my first one.
Joan
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Aha sorry about that should have checked! Great story x
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
A lovely bittersweet story of losing your mother. I lost mine just over a year ago and there are still days when the grief just about takes me out. when her eyes closed for the last time, so did part of my heart. Thanks for sharing this.
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2024
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A lovely bittersweet story of losing your mother. I lost mine just over a year ago and there are still days when the grief just about takes me out. when her eyes closed for the last time, so did part of my heart. Thanks for sharing this.
Comment Written 15-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2024
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Hi Mariyn,
Thanks for the nice comments and all the stars. This is not autobiographical but it is how I felt after my mom's death and after I attended my first shiva. I am married to a Jew. So you can say it is fictional history of my life.
Comment from DonandVicki
A very touching story that pulled me in from the start. When those you love pass, it become very difficult to start a new normal. A very well composed short story.
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2024
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A very touching story that pulled me in from the start. When those you love pass, it become very difficult to start a new normal. A very well composed short story.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2024
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Thanks for the positive and encouraging review for my story, D&V.
Joan
Comment from Poetic Friend
Joan,
For a first short story, this is excellent!
Sometimes we don't realize how insignificant activities in our loved one lives' become the most precious memories of them when they have transitioned.
Your story allowed me to relate to my mother's favorites hobbies as they became my most previous memories after her passing.
This story led to tears because of its beauty. Thank you for it, Joan.
I have always been a fan of your work.
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2024
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Joan,
For a first short story, this is excellent!
Sometimes we don't realize how insignificant activities in our loved one lives' become the most precious memories of them when they have transitioned.
Your story allowed me to relate to my mother's favorites hobbies as they became my most previous memories after her passing.
This story led to tears because of its beauty. Thank you for it, Joan.
I have always been a fan of your work.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2024
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Thanks for such nice words and all the stars, Nan. I am glad you related to it so well. You'll find the whole story in the book.
Joan
Comment from patcelaw
This is very well written and a nice conclusion to your story and I enjoyed very much listening to it. It flows very well when it is red and loud and your presentation is very well done your paragraphing your sentence structure, and all things about it are very well done. Patricia
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2024
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This is very well written and a nice conclusion to your story and I enjoyed very much listening to it. It flows very well when it is red and loud and your presentation is very well done your paragraphing your sentence structure, and all things about it are very well done. Patricia
Comment Written 13-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2024
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Thanks for your thorough and encouraging review, Patricia.
Joan
Comment from BethShelby
This is a lovely bittersweet story about your family and the way you say your goodbyes. I've never had a Jewish family I knew really well so I wasn't familiar with shiva and had to look it up. It seems like a nice custom.
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2024
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This is a lovely bittersweet story about your family and the way you say your goodbyes. I've never had a Jewish family I knew really well so I wasn't familiar with shiva and had to look it up. It seems like a nice custom.
Comment Written 13-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2024
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Hi Beth,
Thanks for the nice comments and all the stars. I am glad you like it.
This isn't autobiographical. Though I have grown up around Jewish families and married into one.
Joan