Miracles
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "Miracles - Chap 14"From the ashes of crime, miracles arise
19 total reviews
Comment from Liz O'Neill
It's good how are you continue to bring the reader into the world of visceral pain. Looks like a sneaky approach:"Tango scowled and shifted his glance to his boss, who nodded. Clutching the wallet as he joined Garth, he quietly slipped it into Poppa's jacket pocket. Poppa walked away, casually blending in with the other workers. The plot thickens: "Vince Rossi," Garth muttered under his breath. "The mob's lawyer." The realization tightened his jaw as he turned to Rossi, his eyes sharp. "Doyle is behind this, isn't he?"
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2024
  |
It's good how are you continue to bring the reader into the world of visceral pain. Looks like a sneaky approach:"Tango scowled and shifted his glance to his boss, who nodded. Clutching the wallet as he joined Garth, he quietly slipped it into Poppa's jacket pocket. Poppa walked away, casually blending in with the other workers. The plot thickens: "Vince Rossi," Garth muttered under his breath. "The mob's lawyer." The realization tightened his jaw as he turned to Rossi, his eyes sharp. "Doyle is behind this, isn't he?"
Comment Written 24-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2024
-
Thanks for reading another chapter and leaving your thoughts. I appreciate it very much.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from karenina
This was a thrilling chapter...
That wallet discovery, lift and exchange had me on the edge of my seat.
Garth isn't going to let these goons pull the wool over his eyes.
I have more to read!
Woo hoo!
Karenina
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2024
|
This was a thrilling chapter...
That wallet discovery, lift and exchange had me on the edge of my seat.
Garth isn't going to let these goons pull the wool over his eyes.
I have more to read!
Woo hoo!
Karenina
Comment Written 20-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2024
-
I thought Tango and Poppa pulled that off quite well. i'm getting nervous because there is so much more to this story with only ten days to pull it off. Wish me kuck!
Smiles, Carol
-
You don't need luck. RUKM? I have NO DOUBT you'll finish this with time to spare!
Comment from Julie Helms
Some edits:
He succumbed and allowed her to usher him back into the cottage.
(Succumbed wouldn't be my choice of word here...I've only ever heard it in two contexts...dying, and succumbing to temptation. Maybe relented, gave in, acquiesced. Just my opinion)
Me? Responsible? Did I -- oh God in Heaven, did I hurt someone?"
(Missing starting quote marks)
What brought you to this, my friend? Did you give up and drive off the edge, or --"
(Missing starting quote marks)
"Sir, you need to step back. Please exit the vehicle and move behind the tape," the officer says firmly.
(said firmly)
he's up against more than just a murder case. This could be a tangled web of corruption, and Vince Rossi is here to ensure nothing slips through.
(Keep it in past tense....he was up against....Rossi was here)
I think I'm almost caught up!
Julie
:-)
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2024
|
Some edits:
He succumbed and allowed her to usher him back into the cottage.
(Succumbed wouldn't be my choice of word here...I've only ever heard it in two contexts...dying, and succumbing to temptation. Maybe relented, gave in, acquiesced. Just my opinion)
Me? Responsible? Did I -- oh God in Heaven, did I hurt someone?"
(Missing starting quote marks)
What brought you to this, my friend? Did you give up and drive off the edge, or --"
(Missing starting quote marks)
"Sir, you need to step back. Please exit the vehicle and move behind the tape," the officer says firmly.
(said firmly)
he's up against more than just a murder case. This could be a tangled web of corruption, and Vince Rossi is here to ensure nothing slips through.
(Keep it in past tense....he was up against....Rossi was here)
I think I'm almost caught up!
Julie
:-)
Comment Written 19-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2024
-
Thanks! I had fixed the quote marks (or thought I had) but probably forgot to hit save. I changed succumbed to relented, and yes, it does sound better. Thanks, as always, for your eagle eye.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Esther Brown
Garth and Mathew are my favorites. Manly men. There are two places where I think quotations are missing. In front of Me, and What brought. Mariam speaking needs a capital "S" on she. You made me feel Matthew's confusion and frailty, and his depth of friendship with Garth. Great job. Esther
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2024
|
Garth and Mathew are my favorites. Manly men. There are two places where I think quotations are missing. In front of Me, and What brought. Mariam speaking needs a capital "S" on she. You made me feel Matthew's confusion and frailty, and his depth of friendship with Garth. Great job. Esther
Comment Written 18-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2024
-
Thanks as always...It's difficult to write and be with the great granddaughters but I am trying...and then of course there is the reading and reviewing. I'm too old! Appreciate the review and your kindness.
Love ya, Carol
Comment from BethShelby
Nicely Written. I guess ghosts have a way of contacting each since Miriam can Eleanor to Donatelli. Garth knows Donatelli is guilty of murder and he figures it has to do with the Judge in prison.
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2024
|
Nicely Written. I guess ghosts have a way of contacting each since Miriam can Eleanor to Donatelli. Garth knows Donatelli is guilty of murder and he figures it has to do with the Judge in prison.
Comment Written 18-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2024
-
Your guess is as good as any, Beth! I just write what my brain envisions and hope that others see it too. Thanks as always for taking the time to read and enjoy.
Smiles, Carol
-
I messed this. Garth knows Donatelli isn't guilty. I'll let you decided what ghosts can and can't do. I don't know any personally.
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
What great imagery you write, Carol, right down to white knuckles against weathered wood! Excellent!!
"You're men have probably made you aware . . ." - Change to "Your men"
A gripping chapter, Carol. I really am enjoying this story!
xo
Pam
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2024
|
What great imagery you write, Carol, right down to white knuckles against weathered wood! Excellent!!
"You're men have probably made you aware . . ." - Change to "Your men"
A gripping chapter, Carol. I really am enjoying this story!
xo
Pam
Comment Written 17-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2024
-
Thanks so much for enjoying the chapter as always. I am traveling so it's been a whirlwind but I wanted to tell people thanks for everything. I couldn't do it without my FanStory friends.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Pearl Edwards
It is getting very dangerous and vvery serious now, thankfully Miriam senses the danger.Another great chapter Carol. I'm loving this story.
edit -You're (Your) men have probably made you aware
cheers,
valda
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2024
|
It is getting very dangerous and vvery serious now, thankfully Miriam senses the danger.Another great chapter Carol. I'm loving this story.
edit -You're (Your) men have probably made you aware
cheers,
valda
Comment Written 16-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2024
-
I think Miriam is starting to trust Eleanor and will do what's best for Matthew. At least I hope so. Thanks so much for the review.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Jacob1395
This was really intense again, Carol, surely Matthew's fellow detectives can't see that he could possibly have murdered someone. It's clear to see how much Miriam cares for him and it is clear that she is scared about what the future might bring. Another excellent piece, I enjoyed reading it.
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2024
|
This was really intense again, Carol, surely Matthew's fellow detectives can't see that he could possibly have murdered someone. It's clear to see how much Miriam cares for him and it is clear that she is scared about what the future might bring. Another excellent piece, I enjoyed reading it.
Comment Written 16-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2024
-
Thanks Jacob...I am traveling so I hope I can keep up with the story. I appreciate your kindness and support.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
I am not sure Miriam has Donatelli's welfare as her first reason for not telling him more. Garth certainly does have Donatelli's welfare at the forefront of what he is going to do since he knows Donatelli would not murder someone, even if he did have a beef with the dead man.
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2024
|
I am not sure Miriam has Donatelli's welfare as her first reason for not telling him more. Garth certainly does have Donatelli's welfare at the forefront of what he is going to do since he knows Donatelli would not murder someone, even if he did have a beef with the dead man.
Comment Written 16-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2024
-
Excuse the cut and paste...
I'm traveling to North Carolina to spend some time with my Great Granddaughters (and enjoy Keyanna's national soccer tournament). It's like a whirlwind at the moment, but I do appreciate your time and especially your enjoyment of my story. Hope to get back to it soon. Thank you as always.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Wendy G
Interesting and clever chapter. Well done. Not much can get past Garth' watchful eyes. Just as well no one saw Tango retrieve the wallet. So this was the set up to frame Donatelli for murder! Just as well Miriam is protecting him well.
Wendy
Edits: a couple of times you missed opening the quotation marks for direct speech.
You're men have probably made you aware (Your men)
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2024
|
Interesting and clever chapter. Well done. Not much can get past Garth' watchful eyes. Just as well no one saw Tango retrieve the wallet. So this was the set up to frame Donatelli for murder! Just as well Miriam is protecting him well.
Wendy
Edits: a couple of times you missed opening the quotation marks for direct speech.
You're men have probably made you aware (Your men)
Comment Written 15-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2024
-
Excuse the cut and paste...
I'm traveling to North Carolina to spend some time with my Great Granddaughters (and enjoy Keyanna's national soccer tournament). It's like a whirlwind at the moment, but I do appreciate your time and especially your enjoyment of my story. Hope to get back to it soon. Thank you as always.
Smiles, Carol