Heart Crafted Poems - 2022
Viewing comments for Chapter 84 "Misty Meadow"Musings of an old man - 2022
28 total reviews
Comment from Gloria ....
This sonnet of yours has evolved so nicely with all the input from reviewers. I am glad I waited to review because at first it had rough patches, but now it is a glowing gem that is absolutely a six-star sonnet.
Well done, J. :))
Gloria
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2022
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This sonnet of yours has evolved so nicely with all the input from reviewers. I am glad I waited to review because at first it had rough patches, but now it is a glowing gem that is absolutely a six-star sonnet.
Well done, J. :))
Gloria
Comment Written 22-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2022
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Gloria, thank you! The most wonderful aspect of FS are the people, such as yourself who give some of there time and talent to assist evolving writers, such as I am. Thank you so much! 🙏🙏🙏
Comment from Boogienights
I think this is beautiful, although I can't offer advice since I struggle with writing sonnets. This sounds like an epic historical tale, well told. Thanks for sharing. :)
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2022
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I think this is beautiful, although I can't offer advice since I struggle with writing sonnets. This sounds like an epic historical tale, well told. Thanks for sharing. :)
Comment Written 21-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2022
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Thank you, I also struggle so much with sonnets, but our peers are so willing to provide instruct input. Wow! How cool is that😉😉😉
Comment from Raul1
It's beautifully written. The sentences flow with clarity. It is interesting and entertaining. Excellent work! No mistakes found in your poetry. I like your poem. Thank you for sharing!
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2022
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It's beautifully written. The sentences flow with clarity. It is interesting and entertaining. Excellent work! No mistakes found in your poetry. I like your poem. Thank you for sharing!
Comment Written 21-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2022
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Thank you
Comment from newilk
It's not often I see a key for new vocabulary under a post though these new words didn't take me out of the poem for a minute! Something about the way it's written is reminiscent of J.R.R Tolkien's poetry in The Hobbit and The Lord Of The Rings!
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2022
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It's not often I see a key for new vocabulary under a post though these new words didn't take me out of the poem for a minute! Something about the way it's written is reminiscent of J.R.R Tolkien's poetry in The Hobbit and The Lord Of The Rings!
Comment Written 21-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2022
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my what a fine compliment, thank you! 👍👍👍🙏🙏
Comment from nomi338
I think wars are dumb and so unnecessary. If each man were satisfied with what God has allowed him to accumulate, there would not be the greed to take what does not belong to him, that to which he has no claim. Instead, we have greedy men who will even create out of thin air, a reason to invade another's territory in order to gain more.
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2022
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I think wars are dumb and so unnecessary. If each man were satisfied with what God has allowed him to accumulate, there would not be the greed to take what does not belong to him, that to which he has no claim. Instead, we have greedy men who will even create out of thin air, a reason to invade another's territory in order to gain more.
Comment Written 21-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2022
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Nomi, yes I have always felt man?s inhumanity to man is the worst aspect of free will.
Comment from Jasmine Girl
Writing Sonnet is challenging and fun. I think this is a beautifully written poem. I have one suggestion:
For what wives cry noble estates of kings?
The above line only has nine syllables and a word like "out" should be added after "cry" to make the metre correct.
I suggest the following:
For what wives cry OUT noble estates of kings?
For the next line:
When it comes time...
"It" doesn't sound like an emphasized syllable.
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2022
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Writing Sonnet is challenging and fun. I think this is a beautifully written poem. I have one suggestion:
For what wives cry noble estates of kings?
The above line only has nine syllables and a word like "out" should be added after "cry" to make the metre correct.
I suggest the following:
For what wives cry OUT noble estates of kings?
For the next line:
When it comes time...
"It" doesn't sound like an emphasized syllable.
Comment Written 21-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2022
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Jasmine girl, thanls for the keen eyes! Which prompted my change.
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Nice artwork and presentation.
-My first suggestion is to separate the quatrains and the couplet.
-You have a good topic, effective imagery and rhyme.
-You establish the premise well in verse one.
-You continue to develop the theme in verse two.
-In the line, 'When it comes...' leave out 'just'. It makes 11 syllables.
-A good volta or turn that shows the need for peace and calm.
-The closing couplet is very good.
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2022
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-Nice artwork and presentation.
-My first suggestion is to separate the quatrains and the couplet.
-You have a good topic, effective imagery and rhyme.
-You establish the premise well in verse one.
-You continue to develop the theme in verse two.
-In the line, 'When it comes...' leave out 'just'. It makes 11 syllables.
-A good volta or turn that shows the need for peace and calm.
-The closing couplet is very good.
Comment Written 21-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2022
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PAm, great catch! Thank you so much!
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You are very welcome, Jim!!
Comment from Dawn Munro
The unsung heroes, and a wonderful tribute to those men and women who feed us (and fought). My favorite part: "Just farms and fields, loved wives and moms left scarred.
Then suffer through loss, do not feel the sun.
We start! As mist gives up its clutch on land.
We must lay claim to them! The brave farmhand."
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2022
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The unsung heroes, and a wonderful tribute to those men and women who feed us (and fought). My favorite part: "Just farms and fields, loved wives and moms left scarred.
Then suffer through loss, do not feel the sun.
We start! As mist gives up its clutch on land.
We must lay claim to them! The brave farmhand."
Comment Written 21-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2022
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Thanks for your comments, Dawn!
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My pleasure!
Comment from Aussie
Great watercolour to compliment your fifth sonnet. Brave farmhands were succonded for armies fighting over the lands. This reminds me of the War of the Roses. Or it could be Scotland the brave fighting the English. The beauty of the lands could tell many tales.
I remember the Highlands covered in fog's and the majesty of the animals standing tall. K xx
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2022
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Great watercolour to compliment your fifth sonnet. Brave farmhands were succonded for armies fighting over the lands. This reminds me of the War of the Roses. Or it could be Scotland the brave fighting the English. The beauty of the lands could tell many tales.
I remember the Highlands covered in fog's and the majesty of the animals standing tall. K xx
Comment Written 21-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2022
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Thank you for your insight and comments.
Comment from Wendy G
This has an old-fashioned feel and tone, as if it was written a couple of centuries ago. It seems to speak of the distress, bitterness and results of war. I feel some punctuation is missing, which would help both clarity and flow. But that could be just me, I 'm not a professional poet. Thanks for sharing here.
Wendy
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2022
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This has an old-fashioned feel and tone, as if it was written a couple of centuries ago. It seems to speak of the distress, bitterness and results of war. I feel some punctuation is missing, which would help both clarity and flow. But that could be just me, I 'm not a professional poet. Thanks for sharing here.
Wendy
Comment Written 21-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2022
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Thank you ... The story is the same whether then or now.