The Challenge
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "The Challenge, Act 1, Scene 4"Young Man Has Doubts About Becoming a Priest
33 total reviews
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Now it's all becoming clear. Phillip is gay but is trying to deny it because it's a sin in God's eyes. He is trying hard to get Arthur to believe he is in the wrong body and have a sex change. He should know that they are two different things. Now, I'm wondering if that is really how Phillip feels about himself. Probably wrong. I'll see when I read more. Well done, my friend, another excellent script. :)) Sandra xxx
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2021
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Now it's all becoming clear. Phillip is gay but is trying to deny it because it's a sin in God's eyes. He is trying hard to get Arthur to believe he is in the wrong body and have a sex change. He should know that they are two different things. Now, I'm wondering if that is really how Phillip feels about himself. Probably wrong. I'll see when I read more. Well done, my friend, another excellent script. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment Written 13-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 14-Dec-2021
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Well, a clue was how Arthur pointed out that Phillip couldn't have just got the magazine since it had been published months earlier and wouldn't still be on the newsstands... By this point, I confess that the play had already got out of hand and wasn't saying what I had intended in my rough outline.
Comment from Bill Schott
So very intriguing as the two interpret differently what their encounter meant and means. This part with the magazine seems to speak even more into this as Arthur and Phillip seem to be claiming different purposes for the article on sex change. The scene is so visually drawn. Terrific storytelling.
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2021
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So very intriguing as the two interpret differently what their encounter meant and means. This part with the magazine seems to speak even more into this as Arthur and Phillip seem to be claiming different purposes for the article on sex change. The scene is so visually drawn. Terrific storytelling.
Comment Written 10-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2021
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I left this scene quite disappointed in my performance. There was so much more I wanted to say, but already the play was skittering away from my original intention. Again, thank you for your kind words and the six stars!
Comment from Father Flaps
Wow! Jay, this is a turbulent scene. It would take a couple of terrific actors to pull this off. I see Phillip, struggling in cold choppy water in the middle of a lake. He's pooped from swimming, and wondering if he can make it to shore. Then, there's Arthur, sitting confidently on his raft, cup of tea in one hand, and holding the other towards Phillip... his "Love". But Phillip has hopes of being a priest. Does he press on, risking death by drowning? Or succumb to Arthur's chance for rescue? You've done exceptionally well in revealing Phillip's torture. He knows too well that, underneath it all, he's gay. Perhaps he can hide it behind a priest's cloak. He couldn't hide it from those seven girls. Any normal guy would have been in heaven. Even Arthur envisioned himself pouncing like a cat on a mouse ... mice! ... if for the fact that he is openly gay.
"ARTHUR:
Like a cat on a mouse! Mice. One-by-one. Like a harvest of seven mice, love."
Here lies the problem... Phillip is under conviction. Arthur isn't. Phillip knows, deep down in his heart, that homosexuality is a sin, unacceptable to God. He has by-passed this truth, that God doesn't hate the sinner. He hates the sin! And it's so easy to sin.
Perhaps some people are born wrong... like Arthur. But not all homosexuals are born wrong. For some, the practice is learned. Homosexuals want people to believe that their chosen lifestyle is NORMAL... that it's normal to be abnormal. They want closet homosexuals to believe that, too. This is why so many are "coming out of the closet"... because they've listened to that argument. And they want to be normal.
I think back to your previous play, Jay, and you've captured the torment inside another human being who's trying to live their life. This scene would capture a whole audience. But it would take special actors to pull it off. Find them, and you've got a Broadway play.
I look forward to Phillip's decision... because that's where this is headed. A showdown... with himself. He's walking the old streets of Tombstone, but he's both the good guy and the bad guy... priest and sinner. One has to go down.
Nicely penned! Keep up the good work!
Cheers,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2021
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Wow! Jay, this is a turbulent scene. It would take a couple of terrific actors to pull this off. I see Phillip, struggling in cold choppy water in the middle of a lake. He's pooped from swimming, and wondering if he can make it to shore. Then, there's Arthur, sitting confidently on his raft, cup of tea in one hand, and holding the other towards Phillip... his "Love". But Phillip has hopes of being a priest. Does he press on, risking death by drowning? Or succumb to Arthur's chance for rescue? You've done exceptionally well in revealing Phillip's torture. He knows too well that, underneath it all, he's gay. Perhaps he can hide it behind a priest's cloak. He couldn't hide it from those seven girls. Any normal guy would have been in heaven. Even Arthur envisioned himself pouncing like a cat on a mouse ... mice! ... if for the fact that he is openly gay.
"ARTHUR:
Like a cat on a mouse! Mice. One-by-one. Like a harvest of seven mice, love."
Here lies the problem... Phillip is under conviction. Arthur isn't. Phillip knows, deep down in his heart, that homosexuality is a sin, unacceptable to God. He has by-passed this truth, that God doesn't hate the sinner. He hates the sin! And it's so easy to sin.
Perhaps some people are born wrong... like Arthur. But not all homosexuals are born wrong. For some, the practice is learned. Homosexuals want people to believe that their chosen lifestyle is NORMAL... that it's normal to be abnormal. They want closet homosexuals to believe that, too. This is why so many are "coming out of the closet"... because they've listened to that argument. And they want to be normal.
I think back to your previous play, Jay, and you've captured the torment inside another human being who's trying to live their life. This scene would capture a whole audience. But it would take special actors to pull it off. Find them, and you've got a Broadway play.
I look forward to Phillip's decision... because that's where this is headed. A showdown... with himself. He's walking the old streets of Tombstone, but he's both the good guy and the bad guy... priest and sinner. One has to go down.
Nicely penned! Keep up the good work!
Cheers,
Kimbob
Comment Written 04-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2021
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Whoa, Kimbob! Rein that horse! No, don't rein that horse. I love what you do with a review, your unique way of exposing the flaws, and the glint of redemption around the corner. You've nailed down what I had intended about Phillip's and Arthur's psychology. I'll stop short of averring, myself, what God's view of the homosexual is ... only what's in the mind of Phillip and Arthur (to which I hold dubious ownership). But the scene did what I wanted it to do in another respect: it got you thinking about and sharing your position on Judeo-Christian canon and sexuality. No one has explained it to me in quite the way you have, especially the aspect of social "media" as it affects the perplexity of the sexually-confused individual.
Thank you for taking this to that level, Kimbob .
Jay
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
Hi Jay, wow this is a great start to your play, Jay. I like the way you give directions for the position on the stage and for the way you write in the hand movements and other little nuances. And it's great to catch up with you again and your writings, Giddy
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2021
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Hi Jay, wow this is a great start to your play, Jay. I like the way you give directions for the position on the stage and for the way you write in the hand movements and other little nuances. And it's great to catch up with you again and your writings, Giddy
Comment Written 03-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2021
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Awwww, thank you Giddy. I always adore it when you read my things. A six star rating is the dessert. I hope all is well with you and yours.
Comment from Senyai
Jay,
Oh what an agonizing chapter this is! I cannot get over how close to the attitudes of the 1950's you kept your script. Phillip Dellaney is in an absolute quandary over his past. His plans of embarking into life as a priest may be in an effort to avoid confronting his thoughts on where he stands with his sexual urges.
Such a painful scene this is! Arthur, his gay friend is still attracted to Phillip and is convinced Phillip is a closeted homosexual unlike himself who is out and proud so to speak even if by 1950's standards. Arthur remains true to his nature as a thoroughly effeminate man and seems to have made it his personal responsibility to spare his friend a lifetime of pain denying his true nature. Phillip is not convinced and wants Arthur to know he is a choosing the priesthood out of a desire for servitude to Jesus Christ and the betterment of his fellowman and NOT to hide his sexual proclivities. Desperately torn, Phillip is confused being tossed in the sea of rumination of the past. His decision to withstand the advances of the seven girls in the bedroom are bothering him greatly coupled with the "thrilling" returning kiss with Arthur. It is about to pull him under into a nightmare of doubt as to who he is and if he is absolutely suited for his dream of becoming a priest. His very dream is being questioned ... why is his noble calling turning into a hiding hole for 'the road not taken'.
Jay, once again you strike at the heart of things, poke the hornet's nest to see what comes flying out! Enthralling! My heart is aching for Phillip as his layers are being peeled off with the visits from his friends. What I cannot yet know is Phillip doing this self purging as a purely cathartic act with his mind made up for his future or is he still undecided, buffeted by past events in doubts about his future.
I await your next scene.
Always,
Senyai
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2021
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Jay,
Oh what an agonizing chapter this is! I cannot get over how close to the attitudes of the 1950's you kept your script. Phillip Dellaney is in an absolute quandary over his past. His plans of embarking into life as a priest may be in an effort to avoid confronting his thoughts on where he stands with his sexual urges.
Such a painful scene this is! Arthur, his gay friend is still attracted to Phillip and is convinced Phillip is a closeted homosexual unlike himself who is out and proud so to speak even if by 1950's standards. Arthur remains true to his nature as a thoroughly effeminate man and seems to have made it his personal responsibility to spare his friend a lifetime of pain denying his true nature. Phillip is not convinced and wants Arthur to know he is a choosing the priesthood out of a desire for servitude to Jesus Christ and the betterment of his fellowman and NOT to hide his sexual proclivities. Desperately torn, Phillip is confused being tossed in the sea of rumination of the past. His decision to withstand the advances of the seven girls in the bedroom are bothering him greatly coupled with the "thrilling" returning kiss with Arthur. It is about to pull him under into a nightmare of doubt as to who he is and if he is absolutely suited for his dream of becoming a priest. His very dream is being questioned ... why is his noble calling turning into a hiding hole for 'the road not taken'.
Jay, once again you strike at the heart of things, poke the hornet's nest to see what comes flying out! Enthralling! My heart is aching for Phillip as his layers are being peeled off with the visits from his friends. What I cannot yet know is Phillip doing this self purging as a purely cathartic act with his mind made up for his future or is he still undecided, buffeted by past events in doubts about his future.
I await your next scene.
Always,
Senyai
Comment Written 02-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2021
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I am so overwhelmed by the depth of your perceptions, Senyai. I've mentioned to at least one reviewer here that I was disappointed in not achieving my vision for this scene. But you've made me see that growing as an artist is a process that involves always the interaction between a reader and the writer. I gave what I could. I left an oyster at the bottom of the sea, and you, brave diver, brought up the pearl. Thank you for that, Senyai. I'm indebted to you.
Comment from Goodadvicechan
I enjoy the conversations between Arthur and Philip. Those conversations are hard to come out, but your did it. The use of "We kissed", "You kissed," is very appropriate and shows the difference feelings between the two men.
You are talented in describing the nifty gritty actions of the two men. That adds to show the feelings of the men while they were talking.
I enjoy this chapter. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2021
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I enjoy the conversations between Arthur and Philip. Those conversations are hard to come out, but your did it. The use of "We kissed", "You kissed," is very appropriate and shows the difference feelings between the two men.
You are talented in describing the nifty gritty actions of the two men. That adds to show the feelings of the men while they were talking.
I enjoy this chapter. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 01-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2021
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Thank you, Goodadvicechan, for reading it. I'm glad you got to it before the promotion ended (in about 20 minutes). I'd love to have you be a regular reader of this play. Thank you.
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I will continue to follow this play... I love broadway shows... I have taken one course on playwright and enjoyed it in college.
My issue is that English is not my mother language but I am learning.
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Oh, how I envy you for writing in a language that you don't feel comfortable in. I have been studying Spanish for two years (seven days a week, without missing a day), and still I can't string together a sentence that makes sense. So ... good for you. You've got my enduring respect!
Comment from LJbutterfly
This is a compelling examination of the emotions, desires, and sexuality of a young man entering the priesthood. The plot is clever and unusual (for me), but the dialogue is so authentic and realistic, that I feel I'm in the room with Philip and Arthur, or have met them.
Not being a script writer, I don't know what (beat) means.
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2021
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This is a compelling examination of the emotions, desires, and sexuality of a young man entering the priesthood. The plot is clever and unusual (for me), but the dialogue is so authentic and realistic, that I feel I'm in the room with Philip and Arthur, or have met them.
Not being a script writer, I don't know what (beat) means.
Comment Written 01-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2021
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Think of beat as a change of subject, or as in prose, a new paragraph. It's a long pause for effect. Thank you so much for reading this and for your kind words.
Comment from Aprelle Johnson
Im not used to reading scripts like this one so the difference really threw me off at first, but I did genuinely enjoy reading this and I think your an excellent writer
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2021
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Im not used to reading scripts like this one so the difference really threw me off at first, but I did genuinely enjoy reading this and I think your an excellent writer
Comment Written 01-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2021
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Well, Aprelle ... I'm so happy you chose to take a chance on this one. I hope you've decided to follow through with the rest of the scenes.
Comment from royowen
How difficult it must be for a young man attracted to other young men, and particularly Philip a 6'7" 300 lb young man. And then the question of the girls, and I'm sort confused about Philip's attracting to those 7 nubile young women. Once again it exposes the Catholic Church's predisposition to celibacy, which incidentally isn't a priestly requirement, in fact Paul suggests one should marry if they burn with lust, there may have been a lot less abuse in the church if there was. Well done, jay, great script write, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2021
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How difficult it must be for a young man attracted to other young men, and particularly Philip a 6'7" 300 lb young man. And then the question of the girls, and I'm sort confused about Philip's attracting to those 7 nubile young women. Once again it exposes the Catholic Church's predisposition to celibacy, which incidentally isn't a priestly requirement, in fact Paul suggests one should marry if they burn with lust, there may have been a lot less abuse in the church if there was. Well done, jay, great script write, blessings Roy
Comment Written 30-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2021
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Many thanks, Roy. It's a complicated subject, even now. But to cast the problem back to the 50s ... that really gets tangly. I don't think Phillip would have been thinking overly simplistically by wondering if Arthur might have solved his difficulties by having the operation (and I do think he would have thought of the situation as a difficulty). Anyway, I felt I failed in my exploratory attempts.
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Good scribing Jay
Comment from Melodie Michelle
Excellent script my friend! The characters were likeable and they interact nicely together;-) The storyline was very nice and held my attention!
Thank you so much for sharing and many blessings to you and your family;-)
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2021
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Excellent script my friend! The characters were likeable and they interact nicely together;-) The storyline was very nice and held my attention!
Thank you so much for sharing and many blessings to you and your family;-)
Comment Written 30-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2021
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Many thanks, Melody. I'm happy you took a chance with this one and that it entertained you.
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;-)