Comment from justafan

Excellent

This has to be a very hard type of poem to write. Fun to read, however :) You have done a wonderful job with this one :)...Great entry.

Always justafan,
Missy
You have my vote...

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 Comment Written 13-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 13-Aug-2015

Thanks for this wonderful review and comments,

Comment from JCarriger

Exceptional

Excellent in mechanics - great pruning of syllables in line 3. Having watched Swallows seem to play like small boys in a mud puddle, I know the antics would catch an eye of a predator, since they often seem to drop and limp in their clownishness. Last line is wonderful, I only hope the sagging spirit was because they became aware. You are very talented at this kind of poetry.

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 13-Aug-2015

Thank you for the wonderfully thorough review and great comments, and exceptional rating

Comment from anabellapongasi

Excellent

This is a fun, playful piece, with its bouncy rhythm and imagery. Though a bit of a sad story it is enjoyable to read, with all those alliteration and rhyme. Well done piece for the contest. Best of luck to you :) Anabella

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 Comment Written 13-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 13-Aug-2015

Thanks so much Annabella