Fresh Breath
Fresh, deep, breath.77 total reviews
Comment from starkat
A gut-wrenching 3-5-3 air poem. If I choked and swallowed a fly, it would take eating an entire apple pie to counter act the effect - so all the pie would mix with the bug guts, diluting the germs and such and maybe I wouldn't get sick - a disturbing thought. An entire pie made of bug guts would be interesting for one of those 'survivor' shows that tend to turn audiences stomachs. At least you had a deep breath of fresh air before the unfortunate event. And it's good you didn't inhale or swallow a bee or wasp. Ketchup helps remove the taste of bug guts.
An intriguing and thought provoking 3-5-3 air poem.
Enjoyed it. Good luck in the contest. Cheers ... ;o)
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2016
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A gut-wrenching 3-5-3 air poem. If I choked and swallowed a fly, it would take eating an entire apple pie to counter act the effect - so all the pie would mix with the bug guts, diluting the germs and such and maybe I wouldn't get sick - a disturbing thought. An entire pie made of bug guts would be interesting for one of those 'survivor' shows that tend to turn audiences stomachs. At least you had a deep breath of fresh air before the unfortunate event. And it's good you didn't inhale or swallow a bee or wasp. Ketchup helps remove the taste of bug guts.
An intriguing and thought provoking 3-5-3 air poem.
Enjoyed it. Good luck in the contest. Cheers ... ;o)
Comment Written 01-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2016
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I could have done without your last suggestion of using ketchup to remove the taste. LOL! Thank you so much for taking time to read my poem. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. :-)
Comment from RoostyNester
I loved your humorous pie poem. Since you ate the bug, you get the pie. Very well done in 3-5-3 air syllables. Clever idea for creating a poem. Nice.
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2016
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I loved your humorous pie poem. Since you ate the bug, you get the pie. Very well done in 3-5-3 air syllables. Clever idea for creating a poem. Nice.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2016
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Thank you so much for taking time to read my poem. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. :-)
Comment from royowen
Well done with this one, an excellent entry inI think 3/5/3 poetry contest entry, I think it's very clever, the introduction of humour is great adds a little much needed flippancy to the entry, well done, good luck, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2016
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Well done with this one, an excellent entry inI think 3/5/3 poetry contest entry, I think it's very clever, the introduction of humour is great adds a little much needed flippancy to the entry, well done, good luck, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 01-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2016
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Thank you so much, Roy, for taking time to read my poem. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. Sometimes, silly is just more fun. :-)
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Most welcome
Comment from Liilia
A very funny and thought provoking poem. I can just imagine the disappointment of the hungry soul whose hope of a delicious dessert is so rudely squashed by a darn fly. Fun piece. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2016
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A very funny and thought provoking poem. I can just imagine the disappointment of the hungry soul whose hope of a delicious dessert is so rudely squashed by a darn fly. Fun piece. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2016
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Thank you so much, Liilia, for taking time to read my poem. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. Sometimes just being silly is more fun than always being too serious. :-)
Comment from LIJ Red
In my biker days it was said you could tell a happy grinning biker by counting the bugs in his teeth. Will the judges say this is about air or insects? Not my worry. Excellent 3/5/3.
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2016
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In my biker days it was said you could tell a happy grinning biker by counting the bugs in his teeth. Will the judges say this is about air or insects? Not my worry. Excellent 3/5/3.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2016
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Who cares what the judges say? I'm just having fun and killing time, with no chance of finishing in the mix anyway. When it comes to poetry, I admit, that I wouldn't know a sonnet from sorbet. I was once one of those bug-eating scooter jockeys, too. And damn, I sure miss those days. Thank you so much, LIJ Red, for taking time to read my poem. Your kind words, comments, and generous review are greatly appreciated. :-)
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
I absolutely hate it when that happens!
Well, at least you have the pie...right?
Cute and funny, I love the poem!
Take care,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2016
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I absolutely hate it when that happens!
Well, at least you have the pie...right?
Cute and funny, I love the poem!
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment Written 01-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2016
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Thank you so much, Rhonda, for taking time to read my poem. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. :-)
Comment from William Ross
haha, yeah I have actually breathed in a bug before, I felt it hit the back of my throat, chocked the crap out of me. Good job on this should do well. have a good day
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reply by the author on 01-Aug-2016
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haha, yeah I have actually breathed in a bug before, I felt it hit the back of my throat, chocked the crap out of me. Good job on this should do well. have a good day
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2016
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Thank you so much, William, for taking time to read my poem. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. :-)