The Timecard
Happy Birthday Angel85 total reviews
Comment from Espresso momma
This is precious to be able to remember her and know she is in Heaven with the angels. I have a couple grand children who are with Him as well. Thanks for sharing this memory with us.
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2011
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This is precious to be able to remember her and know she is in Heaven with the angels. I have a couple grand children who are with Him as well. Thanks for sharing this memory with us.
Comment Written 24-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2011
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Espresso (love thet name), thank you for taking the time to read my story and for the kind words.
John
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi jmdg,
I would defy anyone to read this story with a dry eye. Two years after I was born my mother gave birth to another baby girl. She was two month premature and only lived a few hours. I have longed for that little sister all my life as my parents never had another child. I am happy you and your wife had a family despite your grief. There is no greater gift. As I read your words a painful lump formed in my throat and this is one story I won't forget anytime soon. Well done, chey
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2011
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Hi jmdg,
I would defy anyone to read this story with a dry eye. Two years after I was born my mother gave birth to another baby girl. She was two month premature and only lived a few hours. I have longed for that little sister all my life as my parents never had another child. I am happy you and your wife had a family despite your grief. There is no greater gift. As I read your words a painful lump formed in my throat and this is one story I won't forget anytime soon. Well done, chey
Comment Written 24-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2011
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chey, thank you for your kindness in rating and words in your review. The words mean a lot to me as a father. I shed a bunch of tears as I wrote and proofed and r-wrote the story, even after 30 years. Again, thank you,
John
Comment from WilliamDeen
Heartwarming, tender, and sad story. I feel for any parent who finds themselves burying a child. It just doesn't seem write. I hope you have peace with this event in your life.
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2011
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Heartwarming, tender, and sad story. I feel for any parent who finds themselves burying a child. It just doesn't seem write. I hope you have peace with this event in your life.
Comment Written 24-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2011
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William, thank you for reading and for your comments. She has been our guardian angel for our three children following her for sure. hanks again, John
Comment from Joe Hudson
Wow. I"ve read your story over and over. It hurls one's emotions to the outside where they have to look at it, bare and raw. I was shocked. Our son, David was born with the same condition 18 years ago. We were very fortunate--- last week he informed me he had finished his hazing for a fraternity and "dad, please send money."
First a cold writers critque: well written. Every word you used is needed, nothing is redundant. It is a well written story and invokes emotions and feelings as the reader rides through the ordeal with you. Wonderful job you did with that. But let me tell you the capstone of your story, the almost genius of it; you told Kristen "....and miss being your dad". That was a nuclear bomb of emotion. It flattens everything in it's path and the reader can only fall to their knees emotionally and feel the utter loss and sadness that you felt. IF writing is about tranporting the reader to another place and time and with the feeling that the author intended...then you did it. Well done. Great job.
Now as a parent...I am so sorry that happened. We lost our first one before David and I thought we were going to lose him, but thank God we didn't. Now I'm in hock to the UNiversity of North Carolina in Charlotte!
Great job, great story, great writing.
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2011
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Wow. I"ve read your story over and over. It hurls one's emotions to the outside where they have to look at it, bare and raw. I was shocked. Our son, David was born with the same condition 18 years ago. We were very fortunate--- last week he informed me he had finished his hazing for a fraternity and "dad, please send money."
First a cold writers critque: well written. Every word you used is needed, nothing is redundant. It is a well written story and invokes emotions and feelings as the reader rides through the ordeal with you. Wonderful job you did with that. But let me tell you the capstone of your story, the almost genius of it; you told Kristen "....and miss being your dad". That was a nuclear bomb of emotion. It flattens everything in it's path and the reader can only fall to their knees emotionally and feel the utter loss and sadness that you felt. IF writing is about tranporting the reader to another place and time and with the feeling that the author intended...then you did it. Well done. Great job.
Now as a parent...I am so sorry that happened. We lost our first one before David and I thought we were going to lose him, but thank God we didn't. Now I'm in hock to the UNiversity of North Carolina in Charlotte!
Great job, great story, great writing.
Comment Written 23-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2011
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I also am in hock for three, count'em three childrens student loans (although they are as well), it's what we do, right? Thank you for the kind words you've written in your review, I am very appreciative of them all. John
Comment from Pen&Ink
A very touching story. Losing a child so young must be a horrible heartbreak. One suggestion: "Exhausted, they wheeled my wife from the "birthing room" to prep her for surgery." I think this sentence would work better if you wrote "They wheeled my exhausted wife from the birthing room..." The way you have it written, it's not clear whether your wife or the medical staff is exhausted. From context I'm guessing it's your wife who is exhausted. The rearrangement of words would remove any doubt in the reader's mind. Ray
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2011
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A very touching story. Losing a child so young must be a horrible heartbreak. One suggestion: "Exhausted, they wheeled my wife from the "birthing room" to prep her for surgery." I think this sentence would work better if you wrote "They wheeled my exhausted wife from the birthing room..." The way you have it written, it's not clear whether your wife or the medical staff is exhausted. From context I'm guessing it's your wife who is exhausted. The rearrangement of words would remove any doubt in the reader's mind. Ray
Comment Written 23-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2011
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Ray, thank you for taking the time to read my story. Your sentence in that situation makes a world of sense, thank you for the suggestion... John
Comment from Writeaway...
Bravo jmdg another excellent piece of writing, well done. It flowed well and was cleverly constructed, I was kept in thralled from beginning to end and I cannot suggest anything for improvemnt, an excellent job, keep writing!! :)
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2011
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Bravo jmdg another excellent piece of writing, well done. It flowed well and was cleverly constructed, I was kept in thralled from beginning to end and I cannot suggest anything for improvemnt, an excellent job, keep writing!! :)
Comment Written 23-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2011
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Thank you Jakeyboy for your time in reading and commenting. John
Comment from Veekz
A heart breaking tale of an angel called away too soon. The pain is so strong in this piece but not as strong as the love that comes through, the love for both Kristen and her siblings. She is very lucky to have you for a father and her brothers and sisters are very lucky to have her watching down on them as well as on you. Incredibly sorry for your loss, I'm so glad you have your faith to keep you strong xx
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2011
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A heart breaking tale of an angel called away too soon. The pain is so strong in this piece but not as strong as the love that comes through, the love for both Kristen and her siblings. She is very lucky to have you for a father and her brothers and sisters are very lucky to have her watching down on them as well as on you. Incredibly sorry for your loss, I'm so glad you have your faith to keep you strong xx
Comment Written 23-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2011
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Veekz, I appreciate your the time you took to read and comment on my story. Your words are comforting. John
Comment from lola29
Oh, this story brought tears to my eyes. I'm so sorry your little angel had to leave so quickly. I have no doubts whatsoever that you are a loving and caring father and human being. You are indeed one of my favorite writers.
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2011
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Oh, this story brought tears to my eyes. I'm so sorry your little angel had to leave so quickly. I have no doubts whatsoever that you are a loving and caring father and human being. You are indeed one of my favorite writers.
Comment Written 23-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2011
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lola, thank you so much for those kind words. Having read so many of your poems and stories, I know you meant every word. You have just made my night.
Comment from Spiritual Echo
I can't imagine holding my baby, knowing that she had been returned to her maker before I saw her smile.
Perhaps after these decades it makes it easier to write about this tragedy, but none the less your overpowering loss at the time and continued reverance to her first few breaths is both overwheming and remarkable.
Have to go, the kleenex is in the other room.
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2011
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I can't imagine holding my baby, knowing that she had been returned to her maker before I saw her smile.
Perhaps after these decades it makes it easier to write about this tragedy, but none the less your overpowering loss at the time and continued reverance to her first few breaths is both overwheming and remarkable.
Have to go, the kleenex is in the other room.
Comment Written 23-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2011
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Dear Echo... holding Kristen at that moment, although difficult at the time is a moment in my life I will never regret. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment, I appreciate it very much. John
Comment from N.K. Wagner
You've taken an unavoidable family tragedy and turned it into a celebration of love. Imagine how wonderful it was for Kristen's brothers and sister to grow up knowing they had a big sister in Heaven watching out for them. Beautifully written. :) Nancy
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2011
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You've taken an unavoidable family tragedy and turned it into a celebration of love. Imagine how wonderful it was for Kristen's brothers and sister to grow up knowing they had a big sister in Heaven watching out for them. Beautifully written. :) Nancy
Comment Written 23-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2011
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Nancy, we have always spoke to our children about her and they have been to the grave with us. Yes, she is certainly watching over them at all times. Thanks for reading and commenting, I appreciate it. John