Fresh Breath
Fresh, deep, breath.77 total reviews
Comment from LanceHill
There is comedy in this because so many have experienced the same thing. It is not a pleasant experience yet causes others to laugh. Thanks for sharing and for the laugh. Best of luck in the contest. God bless.
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2016
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There is comedy in this because so many have experienced the same thing. It is not a pleasant experience yet causes others to laugh. Thanks for sharing and for the laugh. Best of luck in the contest. God bless.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2016
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Thank you so much, LanceHill, for taking time to read my poem. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. Yes, Lance, I would be willing to bet that most of us have coughed and spit trying to get a bug out of our throats. LOL! Appreciate a great review! :-)
Comment from barkingdog
OMG. How funny ... but not if it happens to me.
Great final line: 'Bug guts pie' Ugh. I know what a squashed fly looks like. No thank you. Not a pretty or appetizing sight.
Good luck in the contest.
:) e
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2016
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OMG. How funny ... but not if it happens to me.
Great final line: 'Bug guts pie' Ugh. I know what a squashed fly looks like. No thank you. Not a pretty or appetizing sight.
Good luck in the contest.
:) e
Comment Written 01-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2016
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Thank you so much, sweet lady E, for taking time to read another of my silly poems. Your kind words, comments, and generous reviews always go a long way toward cheering me up. I appreciate you! :-)
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I just noticed the title was 'Fresh Breath'. Is that with bug legs and eyeballs stuck between his teeth?
Toothpick? (Pleeese take the GD toothpick!!!)
Tic-Tac? (Here have the whole box!)
Comment from Joseph W. Sestrich
Very funny. Most can easily relate. Loved the bug guts image. Yum.
So, I've been informed that short reviews are not useful and that I needed to say more useful things.
The other day I killed a bunch of flies. Had no idea what the hell to do with them. Your poem has given me a great idea. I think I will make a bug guts pie for my ex wife's birthday. Not sure how to do it. Guess I'll just have to wing it. Maybe it will be all the buzz at the party. Hopefully this review is long enough to satisfy FanStory management.
Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2016
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Very funny. Most can easily relate. Loved the bug guts image. Yum.
So, I've been informed that short reviews are not useful and that I needed to say more useful things.
The other day I killed a bunch of flies. Had no idea what the hell to do with them. Your poem has given me a great idea. I think I will make a bug guts pie for my ex wife's birthday. Not sure how to do it. Guess I'll just have to wing it. Maybe it will be all the buzz at the party. Hopefully this review is long enough to satisfy FanStory management.
Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2016
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LOL! Now that might be the most entertaining review that I've ever received. I didn't say this but, if you write almost two complete lines you won't get that goofy error message. I've been in trouble for saying to many similar things before, but in time, we figure out how to beat the system. It's not too aggravating. Thanks for the GREAT review, taking time to read my poem, and your kind words. I appreciate you! :-)
Comment from Cynthia1
Oh my! This is an interesting take on the cherry pie. You have used the term called for in the directions for the contest and your syllable count is fine. Why do you use capitals at the beginning of each line?
Cynthia1
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2016
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Oh my! This is an interesting take on the cherry pie. You have used the term called for in the directions for the contest and your syllable count is fine. Why do you use capitals at the beginning of each line?
Cynthia1
Comment Written 01-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2016
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Using a capitol to start a new line is just a personal choice, just like when I make an ellipsis with space between every period. Although to some, it is considered incorrect, in truth it looks much better and serves the same purpose. Some of my favorite writers do the same things, and it hasn't kept them from making the best seller list. While we're asking questions, why would you give me a "Good" when I have no spag and I've done everything asked for in the contest rules, and done them well? I mean, since when do we take away stars because we don't like something. That's not how the system is supposed to work. Please understand that I'm not trying to sound nasty, but for every four you give someone, you negate a six-star review, and it's beyond me why anyone who is here to offer fellow writers encouragement would do that. Thanks for taking time to read my poem.
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Thank you. I have much to learn about the system. I will correct this rating. Sorry if I have caused discomfort in any way.
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I'm sorry too, if I said or did anything to hurt your feeling. I didn't think you were intentionally trying to be mean, but every now and then we get some who are, and many of us have had to deal with them lately. I hope you'll forgive my outburst, as it is absolutely obvious that you definitely weren't trying to be nasty. Cynthia is my favorite name, so how could I have not known you were a sweetheart. I apologize again. :-)
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Thank you.
Comment from Bill O'Bier
Wow I did not expect that three line ending, but really funny. I had a great time reading your poem. Thanks so much for sharing and good luck in the contest.
Wishing you the best--
Bill~
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2016
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Wow I did not expect that three line ending, but really funny. I had a great time reading your poem. Thanks so much for sharing and good luck in the contest.
Wishing you the best--
Bill~
Comment Written 01-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2016
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Thank you so much, Bill, for taking time to read my poem. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. :-)
Comment from Neonewman
Ha! I suppose we have all had a little bit of bug gut pie before. Or Beer, or soda or just about anything for that matter. Great piece you have delivered with such few words.
God bless!
Steve
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2016
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Ha! I suppose we have all had a little bit of bug gut pie before. Or Beer, or soda or just about anything for that matter. Great piece you have delivered with such few words.
God bless!
Steve
Comment Written 01-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2016
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Thank you so much, Steve, for taking time to read my poem. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. Sometimes it's just more fun to write silly. :-)
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Yes it is! My pleasure!
Comment from Janet Foor
Fresh, deep, breath
Choked, swallowed a fly
Bug guts pie
A very creative and clever 3/5/3 "air" poem. Well done and good luck in the contest.
Blessings
Janet
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2016
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Fresh, deep, breath
Choked, swallowed a fly
Bug guts pie
A very creative and clever 3/5/3 "air" poem. Well done and good luck in the contest.
Blessings
Janet
Comment Written 01-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2016
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Thank you so much, Janet, for taking time to read my poem. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. Sometimes it's just more fun to write silly. :-)
Comment from rspoet
This is an interesting entry for the 3-5-3 contest
A little bit of humor, and a lesson for politicians
to keep their mouth shut, less an errand fly
becomes an unexpected meal
Way to ruin a fine looking pie
Nice bit of rhyme in the poem
and exact syllables at 3-5-3
Good luck in the contest and with the fly
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2016
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This is an interesting entry for the 3-5-3 contest
A little bit of humor, and a lesson for politicians
to keep their mouth shut, less an errand fly
becomes an unexpected meal
Way to ruin a fine looking pie
Nice bit of rhyme in the poem
and exact syllables at 3-5-3
Good luck in the contest and with the fly
Comment Written 01-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2016
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It's it funny how such a beautiful pie looks so unappetizing? Thank you so much, RSPoet, for taking time to read my poem. Your kind words, comments, and generous review are greatly appreciated. As I told someone earlier, sometimes, it's just more fun to be silly. :-)
Comment from Pam (respa)
-The image of the pie looks good.
-Format of poem is good.
-The first line is a good beginning;
one can imagine the fresh baked apple pie.
-However, the unexpected occurs.
-The fresh baked apple pie
will be no moreš???
-A different approach; good luck.
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2016
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-The image of the pie looks good.
-Format of poem is good.
-The first line is a good beginning;
one can imagine the fresh baked apple pie.
-However, the unexpected occurs.
-The fresh baked apple pie
will be no moreš???
-A different approach; good luck.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2016
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LOL! Yes, that beautiful pie doesn't look so appetizing now, does it? Thank you so much for taking time to read my poem. Your kind words, comments, and generous review are greatly appreciated. :-)
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No, it doesn't. You are very welcome for the review and comments.
Comment from Heather Knight
I have also written a poem for this competition but yours is much more original. Thanks for writing it, it's made me laugh out loud.
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2016
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I have also written a poem for this competition but yours is much more original. Thanks for writing it, it's made me laugh out loud.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2016
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Sometimes, I find it more fun to just be silly. It doesn't help much in the contests, but who cares, as long as I can bring a smile or get a laugh. Thank you so much, M J, for taking time to read my poem. I'll be checking out the entries soon as I get a chance and looking to read yours. Your kind words and generous review are greatly appreciated. :-)