Another Pretty Face
Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "Chapter 5, part one"Can love survive small town gossip?
81 total reviews
Comment from jadapenn
Hey girlfriend, this chapter moved really well. Sara is becoming more comfortable with Joe. I love how Joe is showing interest in Cassie and her sports. They already seem on a good footing.
Thanks for the author's notes. I am thinking of you constantly. Your medical team will take good care of you.
A little gremlin in this good writing:
"That's none of your business, young lady." Sara['s] cheeks flushed.
Take care. luv jada
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2010
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Hey girlfriend, this chapter moved really well. Sara is becoming more comfortable with Joe. I love how Joe is showing interest in Cassie and her sports. They already seem on a good footing.
Thanks for the author's notes. I am thinking of you constantly. Your medical team will take good care of you.
A little gremlin in this good writing:
"That's none of your business, young lady." Sara['s] cheeks flushed.
Take care. luv jada
Comment Written 15-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2010
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Thank you for catching that. I appeciate your review and as always I love hearing from you.
Comment from Realist101
Dear Barbara, I didn't know you had this fight. I am very sorry. How do you write so well, I could not do anything. I sure hope this leaves you, and you will be fully well soon. Your writing is so very very well done, it is a joy to read, I am so impressed with your dialogue, so real and it's like you are right there in the room. Please get well soon, and PM anytime if you want. Love, Susan
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2010
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Dear Barbara, I didn't know you had this fight. I am very sorry. How do you write so well, I could not do anything. I sure hope this leaves you, and you will be fully well soon. Your writing is so very very well done, it is a joy to read, I am so impressed with your dialogue, so real and it's like you are right there in the room. Please get well soon, and PM anytime if you want. Love, Susan
Comment Written 15-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2010
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Thank you for your kind thoughts. Right now, to be honest, I am drawing strength from my friends. I apprecaite your kind review.
Comment from gramalot8
Barbara, good job in writing this wonderful story about Sara, Joe and Cassie. I love your characters. They have such good interaction and emotions between them all. On a personal note, good luck, hang in there and stay as well as you can.
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2010
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Barbara, good job in writing this wonderful story about Sara, Joe and Cassie. I love your characters. They have such good interaction and emotions between them all. On a personal note, good luck, hang in there and stay as well as you can.
Comment Written 15-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2010
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Thank you for your well wishes. I appreciate the kind review.
Comment from Jetco
Excellent writing with no spag that I saw. It read fast and the syntax was very good. The dialog moved the story along quite well.
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2010
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Excellent writing with no spag that I saw. It read fast and the syntax was very good. The dialog moved the story along quite well.
Comment Written 15-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from L.lora
Barbara this was superb
in all ways; the flow
was easy and smooth, the
descriptions were colorful
and left great images in the
mind, and the dialogue as always--
was spot on. This addition to your
storyline was so full of life and
exhuberance, a pure delight and
pleasure to read.
"turned and Joe walk(ed) into the kitchen."
Looking forward to your next
post. Hugs, Lora
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2010
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Barbara this was superb
in all ways; the flow
was easy and smooth, the
descriptions were colorful
and left great images in the
mind, and the dialogue as always--
was spot on. This addition to your
storyline was so full of life and
exhuberance, a pure delight and
pleasure to read.
"turned and Joe walk(ed) into the kitchen."
Looking forward to your next
post. Hugs, Lora
Comment Written 15-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2010
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Thank you for catching that. I appreciate your kind review.
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You are always welcome, and please know that prayers continue... hugs, Lora
Comment from Helen Tan
Joe is really hitting home runs with Sara and Cassie. I think it's good to allow Ginger to pop up here and there, it adds to the tension in the story, a spot of trouble. Hope you're keeping well. =D
Sara cheeks flushed.
Sara's
Other mom's need to bring
Apostrophe is not required as you just want the plural form.
"Of course, there's no way I'd miss it. I hear there's this great new pitcher about to start her first game."
This line is definitely a home run for Joe.
"She's a great kid, but I don't think I'll ever understand her?"
I think the question mark is not required here.
Joe grinned, watching her leave. I love you too, Sara.
I love you too, Sara. - Internal dialogue, should it be in italic?
*****
When Sara returned wearing blue jeans and a lavender blouse,
I think this paragraph break is not required as there is not much of a time transition and it's still set in the kitchen.
so I'd say it's sufficed to say I'm sure she'll think twice
The two "say" sounds awkward here. Suggest you have a look at this line again.
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2010
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Joe is really hitting home runs with Sara and Cassie. I think it's good to allow Ginger to pop up here and there, it adds to the tension in the story, a spot of trouble. Hope you're keeping well. =D
Sara cheeks flushed.
Sara's
Other mom's need to bring
Apostrophe is not required as you just want the plural form.
"Of course, there's no way I'd miss it. I hear there's this great new pitcher about to start her first game."
This line is definitely a home run for Joe.
"She's a great kid, but I don't think I'll ever understand her?"
I think the question mark is not required here.
Joe grinned, watching her leave. I love you too, Sara.
I love you too, Sara. - Internal dialogue, should it be in italic?
*****
When Sara returned wearing blue jeans and a lavender blouse,
I think this paragraph break is not required as there is not much of a time transition and it's still set in the kitchen.
so I'd say it's sufficed to say I'm sure she'll think twice
The two "say" sounds awkward here. Suggest you have a look at this line again.
Comment Written 15-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2010
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Thank you for catching those errors. I will make the corrections. I appreciate your kind review.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
hey, barbara, stay strong and know that we are here for you. i am glad you were able to start the school year. i love this chapter, and i look forward to more from you and know that i am praying for you and healing that can only come from God, through His might and through the knowledge He gives your doctors
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2010
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hey, barbara, stay strong and know that we are here for you. i am glad you were able to start the school year. i love this chapter, and i look forward to more from you and know that i am praying for you and healing that can only come from God, through His might and through the knowledge He gives your doctors
Comment Written 14-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2010
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Thank you for your prayers. I appreciate your kind review.
Comment from jmdg1954
A great chapter... I like the way you interjected a little more of Cassie in the chapter turning the reader away from Joe and Sara, at least for a bit. You write well and I can feel the heat increasing between the two of them. Nicely done with additional charector, Ginger.
John
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2010
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A great chapter... I like the way you interjected a little more of Cassie in the chapter turning the reader away from Joe and Sara, at least for a bit. You write well and I can feel the heat increasing between the two of them. Nicely done with additional charector, Ginger.
John
Comment Written 14-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from FredCollingwood
I don't know where to start. First of all your posting is excellent. It's so well written, I wouldn't suspect you have a care in the world. More importantly, I wish you the best with your health issues. Thank you for the update.
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2010
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I don't know where to start. First of all your posting is excellent. It's so well written, I wouldn't suspect you have a care in the world. More importantly, I wish you the best with your health issues. Thank you for the update.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2010
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Thank you for your well wishes and continued support. I appreciate your review.
Comment from LadyWave
I'm so glad you were able to post another chapter - I always look forward to them! :) Nice to see things flowing smoothly for Joe and Sara. Loving the romance as always.
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2010
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I'm so glad you were able to post another chapter - I always look forward to them! :) Nice to see things flowing smoothly for Joe and Sara. Loving the romance as always.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.