Top of the Mountain
Hug them, squeeze them, love them . . . every day.180 total reviews
Comment from LaRosa
Bob, I sit and stare at this screen. So much pain and so much grief you and your wife have suffered...if there were even one thing I could say that would eliminate any of it for you, I would say it.
The image Father Harding shared of 'having been to the mountain top' caused me to stop and re-read. Just that one moment in time must have felt like a message from God, just for you.
It was so different an image than the one we normally hear of being to the top and dreaming of seeing the goal at hand; and yet it did hold out hope. He knew your suffering.
When my son first became ill, I grieved losing who he had been, the hopes I could never see fulfilled. I felt my son had died and this person was a stranger. I didn't know how to go forward. He didn't even look like my son anymore. Then God gave me moments where I recognized my child and I knew he was not really dead.
I know that pain doesn't even come near to what you and your wife have experienced.
May God bless and continue to heal your hearts as you wait to be re-united with Bobby. If there could be Christmas trees in Heaven, there is one decorated and waiting for you.
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2017
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Bob, I sit and stare at this screen. So much pain and so much grief you and your wife have suffered...if there were even one thing I could say that would eliminate any of it for you, I would say it.
The image Father Harding shared of 'having been to the mountain top' caused me to stop and re-read. Just that one moment in time must have felt like a message from God, just for you.
It was so different an image than the one we normally hear of being to the top and dreaming of seeing the goal at hand; and yet it did hold out hope. He knew your suffering.
When my son first became ill, I grieved losing who he had been, the hopes I could never see fulfilled. I felt my son had died and this person was a stranger. I didn't know how to go forward. He didn't even look like my son anymore. Then God gave me moments where I recognized my child and I knew he was not really dead.
I know that pain doesn't even come near to what you and your wife have experienced.
May God bless and continue to heal your hearts as you wait to be re-united with Bobby. If there could be Christmas trees in Heaven, there is one decorated and waiting for you.
Comment Written 25-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2017
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A sincere thank you, LaRosa. I can tell that you are honest in your feelings and have knowledge of what the pain is like. Although this happened in 1981, I always feel the pain more severely this month his birthday month. Bless you and your son, my friend. Hoprfullu you will not have to endure this complete loss for a long long time. Blessings always, Bob
Comment from WalkerMan
Though wise and probably true, Father Harding's words likely provide little consolation as what would have been Bobby's fiftieth birthday passes. Who knows what possibilities his life might have brought. For his loss to have occurred as a combination of those oddly related events makes it even harder to accept. I can only dimly imagine the lasting pain you and your wife feel, and the then-young driver's life probably will be forever adversely affected as well. It is good you can release some of the grief by writing about it, which serves as a memorial to him as a real person rather than just a statistic among far too many. I cannot bring myself to look for typos in this post (unless you ask me to). You cover all the necessary details well, and express the emotional effects clearly. Please accept my condolences during this difficult time. You are a good man, my friend, and I'm sure Bobby has felt your love the whole time.
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2017
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Though wise and probably true, Father Harding's words likely provide little consolation as what would have been Bobby's fiftieth birthday passes. Who knows what possibilities his life might have brought. For his loss to have occurred as a combination of those oddly related events makes it even harder to accept. I can only dimly imagine the lasting pain you and your wife feel, and the then-young driver's life probably will be forever adversely affected as well. It is good you can release some of the grief by writing about it, which serves as a memorial to him as a real person rather than just a statistic among far too many. I cannot bring myself to look for typos in this post (unless you ask me to). You cover all the necessary details well, and express the emotional effects clearly. Please accept my condolences during this difficult time. You are a good man, my friend, and I'm sure Bobby has felt your love the whole time.
Comment Written 25-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2017
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Thank you so much, Mike. Your feelings and understanding are appreciated so very much. Yes, this time of year, I always feel the pain more acutely. Bless you and yours,,my friend. Bob
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You are most welcome, Bob. Toward the end of my father's life (almost eighty-seven years), I told him how much I loved him for all he was (a perfect gentleman at all times), and all he had done for me. Then I said that rather than mourn each anniversary of his passing (in late December), I would continue to celebrate his birthday. Yesterday, he would have turned 111. Perhaps you can ease just some of your grief by celebrating Bobby's time with you instead of dwelling on the loss of an uncertain number of years he might have had. You mentioned a lot of good things about him in your post. What if you expanded upon those to
write a brief biography of him for your family records? You could scan in other pictures of him you may have to accompany the text. If any are too small, blurry, or have unwanted objects or people in them, I have the software and skills necessary to improve them. I'd be happy to proofread it for you too, so no typos get preserved. Just a thought.... Stay well, my friend. -- Mike
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Thank you so much for the offer, my friend. I'm afraid I want to leave it lay for now. It pains me too much as it is. Bless you for asking though. Bob
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I understand, my friend. It was just a thought. -- Mike
Comment from Heidi M
What a heartbreaking experience to lose your child in such a tragic accident. Your writing is clear, concise, and honest. Thank you for sharing this painful part of your life.
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2017
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What a heartbreaking experience to lose your child in such a tragic accident. Your writing is clear, concise, and honest. Thank you for sharing this painful part of your life.
Comment Written 25-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2017
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Thank you, Heidi. Bob
Comment from happykat4
First, I am so very sorry. I have not lost a child. You and Mary are a wonderful couple and parents. Grieving changes over time, but it is not something one gets over, kit is personal. I am so glad you write about your son. We lost a grand nephew at the age of of three to cancer. His parents said their biggest fear was that people would forget him. Every year, they raise monies to find a cure so another parent won't have to go through it. Thank you for your testimony. Your friend Kathy
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2017
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First, I am so very sorry. I have not lost a child. You and Mary are a wonderful couple and parents. Grieving changes over time, but it is not something one gets over, kit is personal. I am so glad you write about your son. We lost a grand nephew at the age of of three to cancer. His parents said their biggest fear was that people would forget him. Every year, they raise monies to find a cure so another parent won't have to go through it. Thank you for your testimony. Your friend Kathy
Comment Written 25-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2017
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Thanks, Kathy. I appreciate this review of six stars but much more than that the wonderful words of inspiration. (Maery was not her name btw...it was Pat, but no big deal) Blessings, Bob
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I apologize. I am so glad you loose Pat the special way you do. Too many people never know that kind of love. Kathy
Comment from emptypage
Bob, this is the finest piece of your writing I've seen to date.
I am so, so sorry about Bobby. He was a beautiful boy. I shared his taste in music.
In my opinion, THIS is why writers write. You just shared a story that so many parents will be able to relate to and that so many others will pray never to have to do. Your guts are on the floor. Your love for your son, your guilt over the way the call ended, your deep connection to your wife, even the knowledge that the medical staff was most likely trying to assuage any horror at what was to come by pretending it wasn't... all is evident. All serves a purpose.
It's a lovely, desperately sad story.
And I didn't find a single grammatical error.
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2017
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Bob, this is the finest piece of your writing I've seen to date.
I am so, so sorry about Bobby. He was a beautiful boy. I shared his taste in music.
In my opinion, THIS is why writers write. You just shared a story that so many parents will be able to relate to and that so many others will pray never to have to do. Your guts are on the floor. Your love for your son, your guilt over the way the call ended, your deep connection to your wife, even the knowledge that the medical staff was most likely trying to assuage any horror at what was to come by pretending it wasn't... all is evident. All serves a purpose.
It's a lovely, desperately sad story.
And I didn't find a single grammatical error.
Comment Written 25-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2017
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Thank you so much, Marla. I appreciate your sentiments and thank you for the six stars. That wasn't necesary but very much appreciated. This happened in 1981 and I posted it about five years ago, but do repost from time to time when his Birthday comes up as now. Blessings, my friend. Bob
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1981. The year I graduated high school. No wonder Bobby and I loved the same music.
It's a wonderful piece, Bob. I'm glad you had this beautiful kid in your life and doubly glad that you loved him so much.
The stars are well-deserved.
Comment from Winslow
Dear Mastery,
If I could I'd give you an infinite number of stars, but then it would do nothing to relieve your pain and grief.
It made me cry to read this. It was very well written and powerful. You and your wife have my sympathy. They say time heals but I KNOW it doesn't.
Warmest regards,
Winslow
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2017
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Dear Mastery,
If I could I'd give you an infinite number of stars, but then it would do nothing to relieve your pain and grief.
It made me cry to read this. It was very well written and powerful. You and your wife have my sympathy. They say time heals but I KNOW it doesn't.
Warmest regards,
Winslow
Comment Written 25-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2017
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Thanks so much, Winslow. I do appreciate your sentiments, the six stars and your time. This happened in 1981 but sometimes, like the anniversary of it that just passed, I still feel it. Blessings, Bob
Comment from nomi338
He was a fine looking boy. One of the most hurtful things is that you never got the chance to make his life more wonderful than yours had ever been. Yet the time that was given to you both was so far superior to the life you knew up to that time. I lost my oldest daughter, but she was an adult at the time and she had a son who looks so much like her that at least visually, she is really still with us. Even though we had her for many years, her death shook us mightily. My oldest son nearly died but one of his best friends discovered his unconscious body and called 911 in time to save him. There are no words to express how grateful I am to him for that.
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2017
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He was a fine looking boy. One of the most hurtful things is that you never got the chance to make his life more wonderful than yours had ever been. Yet the time that was given to you both was so far superior to the life you knew up to that time. I lost my oldest daughter, but she was an adult at the time and she had a son who looks so much like her that at least visually, she is really still with us. Even though we had her for many years, her death shook us mightily. My oldest son nearly died but one of his best friends discovered his unconscious body and called 911 in time to save him. There are no words to express how grateful I am to him for that.
Comment Written 25-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2017
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Thank you, Nolan. We both know the pain of this type of loss,don't we? I appreciate your six stars and your nice review and comments. Bless you, my friend. Bob
Comment from Sasha
Words can never covey the heart break of losing a child. Your description of the pain you experienced brought me to tears. It seems so trivial to say, I am so sorry for your loss. He was a beautiful boy. This must have been so difficult to write. I am at a loss as what I can possibly say other than I am so very sorry you lost your beautiful son.
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2017
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Words can never covey the heart break of losing a child. Your description of the pain you experienced brought me to tears. It seems so trivial to say, I am so sorry for your loss. He was a beautiful boy. This must have been so difficult to write. I am at a loss as what I can possibly say other than I am so very sorry you lost your beautiful son.
Comment Written 25-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2017
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Thank you, Sasha. It happened in 1981, but the anniversary always brings back some of the pain. Bless you, my dear friend. Your feelings are authentic and I am so glad to have a friend like you. Blessings, Bob
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Wow! What a powerful story. I am so sorry for your loss. You told the story well. I believe this was difficult to write. I have no other words except I can tell you loved Bobby very much.
Thanks for sharing. Jan
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2017
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Wow! What a powerful story. I am so sorry for your loss. You told the story well. I believe this was difficult to write. I have no other words except I can tell you loved Bobby very much.
Thanks for sharing. Jan
Comment Written 25-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2017
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Thank you, Jan. Although it happened in 1981, I always feel it the most around this time of year. Blessings, Bob
Comment from kathleenspalding
This is an extremely well done piece on a heartbreaking subject. I am so sorry. Your priest was wise. You have our sympathy. There's a Cherokee saying that we are born with the number of days we will live in our hand. You gave him good days. All the best.
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2017
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This is an extremely well done piece on a heartbreaking subject. I am so sorry. Your priest was wise. You have our sympathy. There's a Cherokee saying that we are born with the number of days we will live in our hand. You gave him good days. All the best.
Comment Written 25-Feb-2017
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2017
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Thank you so much, Kathleen. I appreciate your time and comments with the six stars. Blessings, my friend. Bob
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You're welcome. Blessings to you, too.