Comment from lightink

Excellent

This is amazing! You did an excellent job with this: it became a very dynamic poem with a smooth flow, playful and also, pure joy! You even wrote it in trochaic meter! Good luck at the contest!

 Comment Written 14-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 14-Aug-2015

Thanks for this wonderful review and comments,

Comment from pierre poote'

Exceptional

I really enjoyed your poem. The rhyming alliterisen entry. I particular like "swirling swallows bedlam's bag". I think the poem would be more pleasing to the eye if it were centered. That's just me though. I enjoyed!

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 14-Aug-2015

Thanks Pierre for this wonderful review and outstanding comments,

Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)

Excellent

This weell written, my friend. Your rhymes and alliteration are both strong as is your imagery, Best wishes in the contest. A delightful entry~Debbie

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 14-Aug-2015

Thanks Debbie, for this wonderful review and comments,

Comment from Irish Rain

Excellent

This has got to be the winner...great alliteration! And I can almost see the Swallows wending, wheeling! Just wonderful! Good luck in this contest!

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 14-Aug-2015

Thanks, for this wonderful review and comments,

reply by Irish Rain on 14-Aug-2015

You are most welcome!

Comment from happykat4

Exceptional

Really enjoyed this rhyming alliterisen. Very well done. I can just picture these birds and their dance. It's no wonder the hawks hunt them with all their activity. I can picture the swirling, tumbling, and cluttering. The flow is great and the rhyming was very good. Kat

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 14-Aug-2015

Thanks Kat for the wonderful review, and outstanding comments and rating.

Comment from Benjamin Valencia

Excellent

Hi..This was cute and a bit of a tongue twister which I enjoyed. You penned a vivid description of them. I never heard them like cluttering clowns before. This was original and yes, accurate..heh heh..Love the conflict here too; the hawks and I can't help but feel the sparrows spirit sag...heh heh..Poor things..Great job and cheers.

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 14-Aug-2015

Thanks Benjamin, for this wonderful review and comments,

Comment from l.raven

Excellent

they look like they are dancing in the air...it is amazing the way they can fly...I love the way your poem describes them...so very nicely written...and I love the picture...Luff Linda xxoo

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 14-Aug-2015

Thanks Linda, for this wonderful review and comments,

reply by l.raven on 14-Aug-2015

sooooooooo welcome Roy...Luff xxoo

Comment from visionary1234

Excellent

What a delightful alliterative piece! Just a small spag in the last line:
Silly swallows spirit's sag.

Silly swallow's spirits sag (the spirits belong to the swallows, thus the possessive 's' for swallow's, yes?)

Good luck!
:)Sharyn

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 14-Aug-2015

Thanks, for this wonderful review and comments, and yes the swallows own the spirits Sharyn,

Comment from petalangela

Excellent

Perfect in following the contest rules
Perfectly describing the flight of the swallows
Perfection at its best. This deserved a six

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 13-Aug-2015

Thanks Petal, for this wonderful review and comments,

Comment from heyjude

Excellent

Great job of alliteration in this poem. Good entry for the contest.
I would name some of the alliteration, but there's plenty there.
Good luck.

 Comment Written 13-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 13-Aug-2015

Thanks, for this wonderful review and comments,