After The Picnic
A boy remembers summer116 total reviews
Comment from apky
I could see this evening in mxy mind so vividly that the last stanza only made it happen again. I have my own intepretations of what happened to good old Uncle falling, to make him go off the "partying" altogether, but I'll keep my thoughts to myself.
They say he was embarrassed. . .
that he got sulky and wanted to go home.
It set off a landslide of leaving,
and the next thing I knew,
I was sitting on the porch with Grandma,
listening to small talk, croaking bullfrogs
and chirping crickets.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2018
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I could see this evening in mxy mind so vividly that the last stanza only made it happen again. I have my own intepretations of what happened to good old Uncle falling, to make him go off the "partying" altogether, but I'll keep my thoughts to myself.
They say he was embarrassed. . .
that he got sulky and wanted to go home.
It set off a landslide of leaving,
and the next thing I knew,
I was sitting on the porch with Grandma,
listening to small talk, croaking bullfrogs
and chirping crickets.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2018
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Thanks so much, Alie. I appreciate all of your reviews. Bob
Comment from Jim Lorson Sr
Bob, I enjoyed this poem very much. All of the things happening with the adults and their having fun laughing, talking and drinking beer. The kids running around being kids. All of these things remind me of my childhood. My brother and I were out numbered 4-2 by our cousins. We all had great times back then. I really miss those days,,,,,Jim
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2014
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Bob, I enjoyed this poem very much. All of the things happening with the adults and their having fun laughing, talking and drinking beer. The kids running around being kids. All of these things remind me of my childhood. My brother and I were out numbered 4-2 by our cousins. We all had great times back then. I really miss those days,,,,,Jim
Comment Written 25-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2014
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Thanks, Jim.. Like I said it is the only one besides "Constant Autumn" that ever got published. Thanks so much, Bob
Comment from Jack Lewis
I wish I had been around when this was posted, I would have given it a six. This is my kind of poetry reading .
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2006
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I wish I had been around when this was posted, I would have given it a six. This is my kind of poetry reading .
Comment Written 11-Dec-2006
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2006
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Thanks Jack...Ironically, it won on the summer poetry contest! Bob
Comment from ladyinblack
Congratulations on your win!
This was written well by a young boy's memory.
This is how picnics with family are suppose to be.
Funny, crazy, some family member is always going
to do something to make everyone laugh. This
is the American way. I wish we had more picnics
like this and less where someone is shooting their
family member over something so useless. Thanks
again for making us remember good picnic days!!!
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Congratulations on your win!
This was written well by a young boy's memory.
This is how picnics with family are suppose to be.
Funny, crazy, some family member is always going
to do something to make everyone laugh. This
is the American way. I wish we had more picnics
like this and less where someone is shooting their
family member over something so useless. Thanks
again for making us remember good picnic days!!!
Comment Written 08-Aug-2005
Comment from MadameSparkle
Congratulations for winning the contest Mastery. I really enjoyed the poem and the picture. Did you get that from FanArt?
Your poem told a lovely story. I could easily imagine the scene. Grandma getting tiddly, Fat Uncle Ted's chair collapsing - he knows he should lose weight but doesn't because he enjoys his food too much, so double the embarassment when the chair collapses. Poor Uncle Ted. My heart goes out to him.
A lovely poem. Well done. Sparkles
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Congratulations for winning the contest Mastery. I really enjoyed the poem and the picture. Did you get that from FanArt?
Your poem told a lovely story. I could easily imagine the scene. Grandma getting tiddly, Fat Uncle Ted's chair collapsing - he knows he should lose weight but doesn't because he enjoys his food too much, so double the embarassment when the chair collapses. Poor Uncle Ted. My heart goes out to him.
A lovely poem. Well done. Sparkles
Comment Written 08-Aug-2005
Comment from Black Locust
This shows the image of summer vividly and clearly. I could see it all going on. The layed back style of this poem supported the feeling of summer nights.
Nicely done.
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This shows the image of summer vividly and clearly. I could see it all going on. The layed back style of this poem supported the feeling of summer nights.
Nicely done.
Comment Written 08-Aug-2005
Comment from The Looney Tude
Congratulations on your contest victory. Your poem is original and deserving of a contest winner. Good luck with your future writing.
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Congratulations on your contest victory. Your poem is original and deserving of a contest winner. Good luck with your future writing.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2005
Comment from tgeoff
Wonderful imagery and more importantly, detail to language.
Another rootin, dootin fine piece of writin'
was sitting on the porch with Grandma,
listening to small talk, croaking bullfrogs
and chirping crickets.
Ciao
Geoff
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Wonderful imagery and more importantly, detail to language.
Another rootin, dootin fine piece of writin'
was sitting on the porch with Grandma,
listening to small talk, croaking bullfrogs
and chirping crickets.
Ciao
Geoff
Comment Written 03-Aug-2005
Comment from yllas
Dare I say that this feels really nice spoken with a Garrison Keillor kind of tone and pace. ( I can't really do his voice, but I wish)
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Dare I say that this feels really nice spoken with a Garrison Keillor kind of tone and pace. ( I can't really do his voice, but I wish)
Comment Written 25-Jul-2005
Comment from bloodlustromance
I liked the writing a lot, it was a little plain to keep my attention. I was browsing through the "up next" thing so Im not sure if this was a writing or a poem, but it seems more like a writing. It was nice, but like I said it was a little plain to keep my attention, but still worth 4 stars.
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I liked the writing a lot, it was a little plain to keep my attention. I was browsing through the "up next" thing so Im not sure if this was a writing or a poem, but it seems more like a writing. It was nice, but like I said it was a little plain to keep my attention, but still worth 4 stars.
Comment Written 25-Jul-2005